Rules of Engagement

Once again, to vote for Lacey and Justin,

call or text 1-800-555-0199.

We'll be right back with more of

Dance America,Dance after this.

Oh, damn, it's busy. Keep trying, keep trying.

Lacey needs our votes.

This is so fun.

I can't watch TV with Adam,

he never stops talking. It's so annoying.

Oh, God, yes, jus--

Shh, it's back on.

Audrey, what's with the phones?

Been calling and everything goes to voicemail.

Our dance show's on, we were calling in our votes.

So you gotta tie up all the lines?

Shh!

Hey, did I just get shushed in my own home?

Why don't you sit down and watch with us? You'd like it.

I don't know. Not really my kind of dancing.

What is your kind of dancing? In an end zone.

On a pole.

In a lap.

Ooh, they're lining up the finalists.

Hopefully to shoot them.

Look, there's Lacey.

She's our favorite. Isn't she great?

All right, so you know that TV show Dance America, Dance?

What, are you--? Are you kidding me? I love that show.

You are so gay.

Anyways, I was watching it last night--

Why am I gay for watching it and you're not?

Who's telling this story?

Oh, I'm sorry, Jeff.

Anyways, there's this really hot contestant, Lacey...

Oh, I know Lacey.

Her tango was magical.

That's why you're gay

and I'm not.

Well, right before I met Audrey, I dated her.

Really? You dated her?

Oh, yeah. I--

I dated the crap out of her.

You know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you took her out on a lot of dates.

Sometimes I wish I'd made more of an effort

to cultivate friends.

I had sex with her.

With Lacey? That's unbelievable.

Did you-- Did you tell Audrey?

Right after I showed her how to check my Internet history.

Wow.

You look terrible.

Yeah, what's up Leaving Las Vegas?

Not in the mood.

Hey, Russell.

You know what you want?

A beautiful young woman named Suneetha

who's engaged to my assistant.

I take four buses to get here.

Can you just order?

Uh, just water.

Water. Can't wait for that tip.

It's pathetic. I'm still hung up on Suneetha.

I just have to do the mature thing, I think.

What's that?

I'm gonna fire his ass.

Then I'll never have to see her again.

I mean, you can't just fire him for marrying Suneetha.

He'll sue you and take the tiny shirt off your little back.

Yeah, that's true.

I'm not big.

So I'm right back where I started. They'll get married,

she'll be hanging around. What am I gonna do?

I know this is difficult,

but I have something that might help.

All right.

You ever see that show Dance America, Dance?

[SEÑOR HAPPY'S "HOW MANY WAYS" PLAYING]

Just give it some time.

I mean, Timmy works here, not Suneetha.

Not like she's gonna be hanging out in the office.

Yeah.

She's hanging out in the office.

Hello.

Hello, sir. Mr. Rhodes.

Suneetha just brought over my wedding clothes

for me to try on.

It's sort of Bollywood meets Shiva,

Hindu god of destruction.

It'll look great once he grows four more arms.

Suneetha.

Oh, Russell knows I'm joking, don't you?

Oh, yeah.

Ha, ha, ha, ha! Good one.

Bye-bye, darling. Goodbye.

Mr. Rhodes.

Russell.

See, that wasn't so bad--

Shut up. Timmy hit the bricks,

pack your stuff, you're fi--

I don't wanna get married.

What? I don't wanna get married.

It's not Suneetha, she's lovely. A lovely girl,

but we just met, and I can't marry someone I don't know.

Okay. Okay. It's okay.

These are pre-wedding jitters, everybody gets them.

You'll be happy once you're married.

What are you doing?

I should never have consented to an arranged marriage,

and now I-- I feel it's too late

for me to back out, but I'm too young,

I've hardly even dated anyone. You know?

What should I do?

Okay, look, I-I don't know if this will help,

but have you seen that show,

Dance America, Dance?

Timmy, we can't do this for you.

This is a decision you have to make.

I could break it off, but the repercussions.

Well, better a broken engagement than a broken marriage.

That's what I've been thinking.

Okay. But I've just been so afraid--

Too afraid to say it out loud.

Thank you for your counsel, sir.

Listen, I'm not gonna stand here

and watch my best friend make a life-altering mistake.

He's your best friend?

I really do feel as though a great weight has been lifted.

Okay.

I guess I'll just go update my Facebook page.

Fantastic performance, Lacey.

Huh, who knew you could get your legs that high.

This is so cute.

You are totally into it.

You have no idea.

Please move.

Oh, that's Lacey. Isn't she the best?

Top three.

Did you love what she did?

No complaints.

I am so glad we finally found something we can enjoy together.

You, me, Lacey,

together, that's fantastic.

So it should take me, like, what,

20 minutes to get to the dentist tomorrow?

Shh. Yeah.

No, yeah, I should probably leave around 9:30.

Hey, can you take my blue shirt to the cleaners?

I spilled my snow cone on it.

I'm so lame.

Honey, what is this on the back of my neck?

Is this a skin tag or--

Oh, my God, I'm trying to watch this.

Sorry.

This is exactly why I can't watch TV with you,

because you won't stop running your word hole.

Okay, I said I was sorry.

Mean.

This is all Audrey's fault.

If she didn't get Jeff into the show,

his fat ass wouldn't be parked in my chair

and I wouldn't be stuck here with Chitty Chatty Blah Blah.

So mean.

And for your information,

Jeff's not watching it 'cause he's into the show.

What? Never mind.

No, if he doesn't like it, then why would he watch?

Oh, look who suddenly wants me to run my word hole.

All right, I'm sorry I was mean.

Okay, but you can't tell anyone.

So before Jeff...

Hey, Audrey.

Hey. Hey.

Oh, hey, Jen, I meant to call you.

Did you watch the results show last night?

Yeah, but it wasn't easy,

thanks to Captain Gum Flap and his war on silence.

That's the meanest.

I am so psyched Lacey made it through.

So was Jeff, he's totally behind her.

I'm not sure she can win,

but Jeff thinks she's got it in her.

All right, what's going on?

What do you mean?

First the nudge, then the second nudge, then the look.

I don't know what you're-- I've been married 14 years,

I know nudges and looks when I see 'em.

Adam?

Well, I-- I-I...

Well, don't give me the look again, she's onto it.

Oh.

Well, look who's all fresh and peppy.

Is that baby powder?

I have a skin condition.

What, diaper rash?

Ah, pretty and funny.

I can't believe you haven't snared a husband by now.

So now that Timmy's let go of Suneetha,

you haven't you pounced on her yet?