Young & Hungry

Okay, my "days of the week" undies are done,

but your bra is still out there drying.

Still? There's not much there to dry.

- (Laughs) - It's not funny.

Hey, wait, where's Friday?

- No, today's Saturday. - (Knocking on door)

Hello. Ho-oh! Thank God it's Friday.

Yeah, they fell on my car.

Wow. You know, that's actually not the craziest place that pair has landed.

I'd like to hear more about that. I'm Tyler.

- I'm Gabi. - I'm Sofia.

She has a boyfriend. I do not.

Neither do I... have a boyfriend.

You have to say that in San Francisco. Especially with this hair.

It's really pretty.

Well, since I've already seen your underwear,

I think it's only right that I buy you dinner.

Oh. Yeah.

I mean, no. Wait!

Maybe. It's kind of complicated.

Wait, I'm confused.

Wait, so you do have a boyfriend?

No, I have a boss. (Laughs)

And you know how when you're dating someone and your boss isn't,

- it can be kind of awkward? - Not really.

Can you excuse us for a minute, please?

- I kind of have... - Stay here. Here.

Ooh, a muffin.

Gabi, why are you thinking about Josh?

Your panties flew to that guy. Trust their wisdom.

Yeah, I know, but I just started going back to work at Josh's, and...

and I'm afraid it's just so delicate that if I start

dating someone, it could be kinda weird.

Yeah, well, then just don't talk about it at work.

That had never occurred to me.

Uh, Tyler, hi. I'd, ah, I'd love to go out with ya.

- When? - Um...

- What's your favorite color? - Black.

Wednesday it is.

Gabi, you're awfully quiet this morning.

That's because I'm too busy not talking about it.

- Not talking about what? - I met the cutest guy!

He showed up right at my door looking for the owner of my underwear.

It's like a fairy tale.

Good morning.

And here comes your fairy godmother.

Which makes you what, the ugly stepsister?

So tell me more about this guy.

Okay. He's in a band, and he plays the sticks.

Which means he plays the drums.

It is so sexy when some guy just plays the dr...

Wow! When you walk in, Gabi shuts up.

How did you do that? Teach me!

Well, it's easy.

All you do is catch her when she's talking about a guy.

I was not talking about a guy.

I was talking about Animal from The Muppets .

Yeah. He plays the drums.

Yolanda thought he played the guitar, which is why I was telling...

Gabi.

It's okay to talk about your dating life.

Really? It doesn't make you feel weird?

You're not uncomfortable? You're not just saying that

to put on a brave face 'cause secretly you're dying inside?

Gabi, I promise you.

I am totally cool with it.

He's so not cool with it.

Gabi, I thought we talked about you not talking about it at work.

We did. And I failed.

But the good news is I realized all I have to do is set up Josh.

And the bad news is that's the dumbest idea ever.

No. Sofia, he's not gonna be cool with me dating Tyler

unless he's dating somebody too. How do you not know this?

Well, because my brain runs on knowledge, not Funyun dust.

Hey, do you think Josh would be into your pretty friend Dee Dee?

S-T-Dee-Dee?

I don't think so.

Oh, what about... no.

Hey, what about... no.

What about... (Gasps)

Her.

Hey, pretty girl. What's your name?

- Sarah. - Oh, Sarah.

Sarah. Sexy name. You single?

Look, I'm flattered, but I'm not into girls.

Oh, oh, no, no, no. It's, ah, it's not for me.

It's for him.

His name's Josh, he's 30, sexy and super successful.

Oh. Well, if he's so great, why don't you date him?

Because he is my boss, and that would be super unprofessional.

- He does have a cute smile. - Yeah.

- Looks even cuter in his Porsche. - Wow.

Alan, calm down!

So your drag queen bingo host dropped out,

and you need to find a man dressed as a woman.

No, I will not do it.

I know you call me your Asian princess, but that's just for the bedroom!

Step away from the fudgey cakes!

We will find you another bingo host, I promise. Bye!

Did I hear you say you need a bingo host?

Because I call bingo at church, and I'm damn good at it.

Trust me, Yolanda. This is not the gig for you.

Oh, come on! I got a whole shtick.

I grab a ball and I call out, "I-8... a whole pizza, y'all."

It killed the reverend.

It's okay, he's in a better place.

Sorry, Yolanda, but the answer's no.

Oh, come on. Why can't I do it?

Because you're not a...

you know what? Spin.

You might be able to pull this off.

That's what I've been sayin'!

Thanks, Elliot, oh! You the man!

No, you are.

Never fear, lunch is here.

Okay. We've got a fork, a knife, a spoon, and a Sarah.

- What's a Sarah? - This.

She lives in my building, she's super cute, she's a paralegal,

she does pilates.

What are you doing?

So you know how you haven't dated anybody in a while?

By choice. My choice, not theirs.

- Well, my choice is Sarah. - No, thank you.

Gabi, I can get a girl on my own. I'm me.

But it would be the best thing for me... you... Sarah... everyone.

Look, I just feel like after everything that happened between us,

- you know, all that "sturff"... - Gabi, "enurf."

I just thought you might be a little uncomfortable if I'm dating someone

and you're not because you might still have feelings

for a certain someone.

Set it up.

Or better yet, why don't we all go out together.

How about that? Me, Sarah, you, Animal.

Great!

Okay, oh, uh, but can we do it tonight?

Because today is Wednesday, and I made a really cute underwear joke.

So, uh, Gabi tells me that you're the drummer in a band.

- That's awesome. - Yeah. We're one hit from making it big.

That's the name of our band, "One hit from making it big."

Have you heard any of their music?

No, but I heard him tapping on the table

and he's very talented. (Laughs)

So, uh, Sarah, do you want to help me with dessert?

Yeah, and if that's code for "let's talk about the boys," hell yeah.

Okay.

Thank you.

Gabi mentioned you met, uh, at her place. Do you live nearby?

Only on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

What?

Yeah, well, Mondays and Wednesdays is street cleaning

and weekends I find it best to park outside the city.

Because... you live... in your car?

Yep.

I re-jiggered the seat so I almost have a full recline.

And I got a piña colada air freshener, so it's like I'm always on vacation.

Sweet. Hey, give me a second.

- Tyler is homeless. - What?

I shouldn't say he's homeless. His car is his home, like a turtle.

- Okay, where is this coming from? - He told me, proudly.

- Got it straight from the turtle's mouth. - I don't believe you.

- Hey, where's the bathroom? - Oh, it's just right down the hall.

Oh, I love bathrooms I don't need a quarter to get into.

Hey, is it cool if I hand-wash my shirt in there?

Oh, you know what? I'm cool.

Okay, that doesn't prove he's homeless.

Oh, the reason I'm asking is 'cause I live in my car.

Okay, that does.

Hey, y'all. Check out my new dress for hosting bingo night.

It's gonna show off all my curves.

Oh... ooh! And maybe a little side boob too.

Nice.

Not really.

Don't you have anything flashier? It's a bar!

Something sparkly, that accentuates your broad sexy shoulders

and your strong, shapely legs.

- Yeah! This ain't church bingo. - Testify!

But if I'm gonna be showing all that skin, I gotta go get waxed.

Don't bother.

- Good morning, Josh. - Oh, hey!

How'd your night go last night with Tyler?

Did you guys use protection? You know, seat belts?

Oh, are those the kind of jokes you use on Sarah?

How'd that work out for ya?

Something tells me I'm gonna see her again.

- Morning. - Told ya.

Hi, Sarah. I had a great night with you last night.

- Me too. Can't wait. - Call ya later?

Gabi, thanks for the awesome setup.

I'm just so relieved. There are so many weirdos in this city.