American Meltdown

Olivia, Olivia?

Are you even paying attention?

Yeah, sorry.

I'm just trying to wrap my head around, uh...

So can I keep my job?

Oh, yes, obviously.

You're our best interior designer.

You just can't be here for 90 days.

Yeah, I don't understand.

- You see, our 22-year-old that we just hired

as our new business manager, she just told us today

that anybody on staff who's been here

for more than 18 months

technically becomes a full-time employee.

And well, employees earn benefits.

- I don't get benefits. - Right.

And to keep it that way, we need you to take off

for three months, which is no big deal

because you'll come back on a new contract without benefits.

- Okay. So look, I know you're super smart

and you've probably thought all of this through,

but I don't know how I'm gonna pay my rent without this job.

Olivia, blame the unions.

Fuck.

- Welcome back to another episode

of Money for Millennials.

Today we're talking about the power of personal budgeting

to unlock your full potential.

But first, are you sick of boring websites?

Well, good design is only a click away

with today's sponsor, Square--

Oh, no, no, no.

Hey, I need to report a robbery.

Yeah, so I got home and my door was sort of just wide open

and all of my stuff was all over the place.

And to be honest with you, like I'm a little afraid

that someone might be in there still.

Okay.

Do I have to like stay here the whole time?

Because I'm pretty scared.

Oh, I do?

Okay, cool.

Um, what time can you get here?

Shit.

Hello?

I'm coming in.

If anybody's here,

you should know that I called the police

and I've got real mixed feelings about that

'cause I'm pretty sure I don't like the police,

but I panicked and I did it anyway. So...

You should really consider not being here.

Also, God, this is very rude.

Fuck, my Motown collection.

Hi.

- Hey, you must be Olivia Walker.

I heard you had a break-in.

Yeah. Please, come in.

My name is Officer Bronson.

I came as fast as I could.

Thank you.

Yeah, just make yourself at home, I guess.

Would you like some tea or something?

No, I don't do that.

So what is missing?

- They took all my good stuff, like my best jewelry,

my TV, my laptop.

You know, they took this vintage blanket

and it was really expensive.

And I feel like that could probably be a clue.

I doubt it.

They probably used it to carry the goods.

So I am going to need the serial numbers

for every item that's missing.

- Oh, was I supposed to write that down?

- Yeah, how else am I supposed to find your missing stuff?

Olive.

What the fuck is happening?

I heard the news.

I dropped everything. I came straight over.

- Yeah, I mean, thank you so much for doing that.

My name's Olivia, though.

Oh, what am I saying?

You're saying Olive, like-

No, I'm not.

Oh, okay.

Officer Bronson, this is my property manager.

- Hey, Lou. - Joe!

- From the fundraiser. - The fundraiser.

How are you buddy?

- I'm doing good. - Good to see you, man.

- What a good night that was. - Looking good.

Gilbert and Main likes us to keep a close relationship

with the local PD just in case we have any problem tenants.

Or tenant problems, rather.

I am so sorry that this happened to you.

Nobody deserves this. Nobody!

- Thank you, I appreciate that. - Of course.

You know, corporate called and they said they wanted me

to come over, maybe have someone here

to kind of represent the property.

And I said I'll go to represent the tenant.

So that's why I'm here, for you.

Okay?

But I love what you and Rich have done with this place.

It's, it's so cool.

It's very, it's like kind of boho.

Thank you.

He actually doesn't live here anymore.

Really?

Did y'all break up?

- Hey, is this part of the house?

No, that's mine.

- What about these, real? - Yep.

- Cool! Do you have any security cameras?

I don't think so.

- Okay, so I'm noting that you took zero safety precautions.

- Which makes it her fault, right?

Yeah, maybe.

- Oh, no, I don't think-- - Wait, hold on.

Gilbert and Main has got your back.

Calm down.

It could be her fault though, right?

- Maybe, yeah. - Okay, why would I rob myself?

That's a good point.

Do you ever see this happening,

people kind of faking crimes for insurance purposes?

Oh yeah, happens all the time.

- Oh, well I don't have insurance.

- Well, you should. - You don't have insurance?

- No. - Do you have health insurance?

- Doesn't seem like it's your business.

- I don't see any sign of forced entry.

- Well, maybe they picked the lock.

- Or maybe they found a spare key.

Did you leave one outside? - No.

- What about under the rock? - No.

- Are you sure? - Yeah.

Look, I keep the main key on me and the spare I keep in my car.

- So where's the third key? - I don't have a third key.

There's always three keys.

- I'm making a note that she should have three keys,

but can only find two. - No, please don't do that.

Look, you only gave me two.

No, we do three, note that.

Noted.

Do you want me to dust for fingerprints?

It'll make a mess.

- Yes, please do whatever you can to get my stuff back.

This house is all that I have.

- It's not really your house, you know.

So no dusting?

- Well, thank you for showing up.

I'll be in touch,

but we don't tend to solve many burglaries, so...

- Oh, so you don't have any idea who did this?

That's the scary thing.

Could be anyone, really. A stranger,

your neighbor, your friend, your ex.

Everybody has a secret.

Everybody.

I'm safe though, right?

Maybe.

What do you mean maybe?

- Well, whoever did this does know where you live,

and if they got your credit card statements

then they know where you shop,

and you got your account numbers on bank checks

and your social's on tax returns,

and who knows what they could do with all that stuff.

Cool.

- It's no wonder most break in victims suffer from PTSD.

Speaking of which, you should see a therapist.

You can afford it.

Hi. Um, was that of me?

- Oh yeah, the light's perfect. Do you wanna see?

Okay.

Cool, right?

- Yeah, I mean, I guess if you like pictures of people

who look dead inside, that's-

Oh, come on.

Don't be such a downer! The light is perfect.

I like it, I'm gonna keep it.

Anyway, nice to meet you.

Have a great day, bye.

Okay.

Bye, I guess.

Could I have a job application?

Hi.

I saw you at the pier, right?

- Oh, yeah. Can I help you?

- So I think that you dropped your wallet

and I just wanted to give it back to you.

- Thank you. That's really kind.

Of course, have a great day.

- Hey, wait, can I give you like a reward?

I think I have some cash--

- No, no, no, please. It's my civic duty.

Have a great day.

This isn't mine.