Footballers' Wives: Extra Time

Shagging him was one thing, but marriage?

If you don't like the way I'm doing things, tough.

But you'd better get used to it,

cos believe me, sweetheart, this is just the beginning.

Cash, he's finished with me. You can tell me to piss off if you want.

You have got a lot of making up to do.

What's he doing back here? What, Matt?

What's up? Don't like him?

What can you give a man who's got everything?

A baby.

SEXUAL GROANING

Nah. I'm sorry, love.

This doesn't usually happen to me.

It's probably for the best.

No point wasting it.

I'm not at my most fertile for another six days yet.

Look, I'm... I...

I need to think about this.

A baby?

I mean, I've been through all this before, and look what happened.

Aw, exactly!

I wanna give you the kind of kid you deserve,

someone who's worthy of you.

This way, at least if anything happened...

..I'd have a little Garry.

And it'd put Oliver's nose right out of joint.

Anyway... A man like you should have loads of kids.

Look at... Bob Geldof, Mick Jagger.

Proves you're still virile, still firing live ammo.

Mwah.

Wishing you were somewhere else?

Eh? No.

Sorry, it's just...

What, you didn't mean for this to happen

and now can we just forget it?

Is that it? No.

It's not that at all.

It's logistics.

I'm having my place done up at the moment,

which means I'm gonna have to move out while the work is done.

I'm gonna have to go to my mum's.

Well, you can come here for a bit...

..until you get sorted.

Yeah? Course you can.

Are you sure, though?

I mean, we've only just got together.

Your mum might be a lovely old dear, Matt,

but I ain't losing you to a curfew.

I can't actually see the dial for all these diamonds,

but you're definitely late.

We'll let it go, but, from now on, try and be in from eight.

Someone needs to be here.

Because you'll be doing what? Spinning a web and eating your mate?

No, Michelle, but I might be suffering with nausea.

Ah, another hangover, eh? You wanna watch that.

Booze and late nights? Terribly ageing.

We're trying for a baby.

Oh, thanks for yesterday, Michelle.

The ring went down a storm.

You're having a baby?

Well, Anika is, we hope.

She's pushing you into this, isn't she?

So she's got a claim on you.

She's already got a claim on me - I'm marrying her.

Take a break, get some air, eh?

I do not want to be having this conversation again.

You cannot be serious.

I really think it could work for us - speed dating.

WHISTLE

Yes, thank you, take care.

I'm not getting the speed part.

OK, Chukka Ent speed dating.

Entry requirements, C cups and above for the girls,

credit limits of 30K plus for the boys.

Two grand membership fee. A grand if a member connects.

It sounds very sorted out. It is. Tonight from eight.

Tits and Yasmin are rallying membership.

I thought it might be too soon after the sushi for you.

Oh, God.

Michelle! Can we interest you in speed dating? I don't date.

Still holding out for my dad, eh? Well, he's a lost cause.

You should know that by now. This isn't about me, Oliver.

I think you should know that conniving bitch

is gonna swipe your inheritance.

She can't. I'm his only son. I'll contest.

She's trying for a baby,

and it'll have more of a claim than you.

It'll be a dependent.

Don't get involved, Ollie. You don't need his money.

Yeah? But it's mine, Ed,

and I think a lifetime of Garry bloody Ryan

means I've earned it.

So, Anika wants a fight, does she?

She's got one.

Don't do anything stupid. Be at Nabokov's Cocoon for eight.

Matt's staying for a bit, just till his place gets sorted.

It's damp.

Oh, thanks for asking, Mum This ain't a bloody hostel.

Charming

It was you who stopped me going back to Spain.

I thought you wanted to spend more time together. Well, yeah.

And now we've done it. You can get your own place.

Bruno gave you more than enough for the deposit.

It's just a few bob in the post office.

Shall I make a cup of tea? Yeah.

Why don't you open a soup kitchen while you're in there

I'll go and give her a hand, eh?

I've got something for you. Oh, I hope that means what I think.

I don't think we can hold on for another six days.

This should help.

I don't... wanna blow my own trumpet, darling,

but I don't need a guide book.

Tantra, Garry.

It's all about controlling pleasure.

Coming without coming, sort of thing.

Like Sting.

He goes on for hours.

It means we can hold on till the right moment,

when we're both at our most fertile.

Believe me, there's nothing wrong with my fertility.

Well, let's just be on the safe side, eh?

I got you these.

You've got to keep your scrotum cool.

No more thongs.

And maybe we should lose the leather trousers.

No wonder she wanted the big room.

Don't bother me. Why are you having a go about Matt, anyway?

He saved my life, remember?

Yeah, but that don't make it right for mum, does it?

For all we know, he could have a wife and kids tucked away.

He's a decent bloke, Yas. Just cos he ain't...

Ain't what? Nothing.

Rees...

It's just a couple of boys in the kitchen

said he's going through some money stuff, debts and that.

Well, it don't mean he's on the take!

Christ, we've been there, ain't we? Didn't make us dodgy.

Yas?

What're you doing?

OK, your place in half an hour.

But I'm not gonna change my mind.

Off somewhere special? Manicure.

I keep scratching Garry with my nails.

Don't you mean claws?

Aw! What loneliness can do to a person.

Louis says that he can get Ronan to sing at our engagement party,

and I was thinking... # Addicted to love. #

Something more recent, maybe.

Mwah. Right, I'm just popping out.

Gonna make myself look gorgeous for you.

# Might as well face it You're addicted to love. #

Trying to make me jealous?

Trying to make you reconsider.

So... what are we drinking to?

To things we've lost along the way.

Oh, I don't think I've lost that much.

To things I've lost, then.

I'm used to vintage.

Cut the crap.

It's not me you're worried about losing.

It's your precious little trust fund.

Thanks for the drink.

How do you expect me to be? You've taken everything.

You knew who I was from the moment we met.

I never pretended to be anything else.

Yeah, I want money, cos I wanna be secure.

There's nothing for me to fall back on.

You could've had me. You'd have let me down.

Don't go.