Drop Dead Diva

A super-busy lawyer with my very own assistant.

I got a new life, a new wardrobe,

And the only people who really know what's going on with me

Are my girlfriend stacy and my guardian angel, fred.

I used to think everything happened for a reason...

Whoo!

...And, well, I sure hope I was right.

Breakfast of champions?

Twizzlers are a food group, aren't they?

I don't want to live in a world where they're not.

I heard that tony left for d.C.

How are you doing with that?

Uh, I'm really excited for him.

It's a great opportunity.

Yeah, it's the pits.

The worst.

Hey, how about I take you out for a real breakfast?

I've got nothing till 10:00.

That sounds great.

Jane, the a.D.A.'s on the phone. I'm busy.

You gotta go downtown and bail someone out.

I have a full caseload.

You're gonna want to do this one.

Trust me, I don't.

It's your mother.

Rain check.

Anytime. Hope she's okay.

Thanks.

Elaine: *...He was her man *

* oh, yeah, and he done her wrong *

Loretta, that's your cue! Let's do it again.

Oh!

* frankie and johnny were lovers, oh! *

Oh. Janie!

Oh, you look fantastic!

Oh, thank you.

Um, are you okay?

I'm terrific.

You're terrific?

You're in...Jail.

I- I didn't even know you were in town.

It was a spontaneous trip.

I went to the theater, saw "chicago,"

Which by the way, fantabulous.

And then I thought I'd do a little shopping.

I was totally minding my own business when...

God, you look gorgeous in cool colors!

You know you're a winter.

I know. Mm-hmm.

So, mom, I have your file here.

Assault, disorderly conduct,

Indecent exposure?

What happened?

I was hot.

I took my sandals off and had my feet in the fountain

When this ignoramus mall cop told me I had to get out!

I was defending myself, and

Things got a little out of hand.

The police took a blood-alcohol test.

Were you drinking?

Of course not!

When did fashion square become tiananmen square?

This is serious!

Oh, poo-poo-poo.

Ohh.

I know how to cheer you up.

* I used to think maybe you loved me *

* now, baby, I'm sure *

* and I just can't wait till the day *

* you knock on my door *

Mom...

* now every time I go for the mailbox *

* gotta hold myself down *

Please stop.

Sing with me.

* 'cause I just can't wait till you write me *

Okay, we have to go to court now.

Okeydokey.

Are you sure you're okay?

I'm fantabulous!

Bye, girls!

Oh, yeah.

Hello, fred.

I'm late. I know. Again.

It's an interesting story.

I was on the 780 crosstown bus

And transferred to the 757,

But there was a water-main break,

So I ran the eight blocks to catch the 335...

I thought you carpooled with jane.

When we can,

But, uh, sometimes I have to take the bus

'cause I don't know how to drive.

Well, if you want to keep this job, learn!

Hello, mr. Parker.

I was, uh, looking for the deposition for the...

Cooper case. Mm.

Fred, get the cooper depo for mr. Parker.

Right away.

Uh...

There's something on your lip, sir.

It's, uh, it's right about - it's right about here.

Is that lipstick?

Tangerine dream.

Kim had me get some for her...

Yesterday.

It's a good color on you, sir.

Is this something I'm gonna have to worry about?

absolutely not.

Understood? Completely.

Does he still need me to get the cooper deposition?

What do you think?

Excuse me.

You're a lawyer, right?

Last I checked.

Who are you?

I'm joan finer.

I don't have an appointment,

And, according to every other lawyer I spoke to,

I don't have a case.

So you snuck past reception

And found a junior associate

Without an assistant to stop you.

Are you gonna kick me out?

Not until I hear it.

I'm an idiot.

Not a great start.

I invested all of my money with max adams.

Oh, no.

I never should have trusted him.

But he was max adams.

His company had been around for decades.

I never dreamed it was some sort of ponzi scheme.

Yeah, he was very good at what he did until he got caught.

Look.

I bust my ass on a teacher's salary,

And he is out on bail,

Probably having lobster for lunch.

Mr...Kent...

I want my money back,

And I am willing to fight for it.

Ms. Finer...

...You've come to the right guy.

Did you just roll your eyes at me, miss davenport?

Hello? I'm not your mother.

I'm a superior court judge.

And I hold your fate in my hands.

So knock it off!

Ooh, she seems mean.

Actually, she's fair.

And a friend.

Okay, on the criminal-mischief conviction,

Which covers all of your colorful graffiti,

I'm sentencing you to 60 days of art school...

At the Lynwood correctional facility.

Enjoy your stay.

Docket ending 342,

The state of california vs. Elaine Bingum?

Your honor,

The defendant is charged with aggravated assault

And indecent exposure.

The state recommends 30 days in jail

And that bail be set at $10,000.

What?! That's insane!

It's appropriate, your honor.

Counselor, could you approach the bench?

Yeah.

Jane, is that your mother?

Yes.

Are you sure you should be representing her?

Yes, it's fine.

I mean, I know what I'm doing.

Suit yourself. Proceed, counsel.

Your honor, my client should be released

On her own recognizance.

There is a perfectly good explanation for her actions.

Indecent exposure?

Well, it wouldn't be if I was 19.

It's only "indecent" because I'm over 50.

My client is...

Is truly remorseful for her actions.

This is hardly the face of remorse.

Really?

I'm ordering a psychological evaluation.

Well, that's a total waste of time.

You're not helping.

And I'm granting the r.O.R.

Thank you, your honor.

On one condition...

That she's released into your custody.

You have to keep a tight rein on her, miss Bingum.

Do you understand?

Oh, we get it.

We're glued at the hip. Oh...

Right, janie?

That's right...Mom.

It was 100 degrees, for pete's sake!

Mom, I will handle this.

Paul.

Three little misdemeanors?