Faking It

Previously on "Faking It"...

Prom will now be mandatory.

, now I have to go to prom with Karma.

This is a disaster.

- Why don't we go together? - Yeah, let's do it.

No way you're going to prom with your ex-boyfriend.

It's not like it'd be a real date.

- Uh... - Liam, you've grown.

I'm gonna ask my crush to prom myself.

- Same here! - There he is right now.

What if we all went to prom together?

- I'm in. - Thruple date.

Well, well, if it isn't the third wheel

on my prom date tricycle.

I think Wade would call it more of a bicycle.

You're just the training wheels ready to come off at any moment.

Well, if anything, I'm about gonna come on,

blasting Wade so hard with my A-game,

he won't even remember the name Loser.

Oh, I'm sorry. I meant Karma.

Listen here, you little sh...

...ane, it's Wade. Hi.

Hey, I didn't mean to interrupt.

- Nothing to interrupt. - No, not at all.

Maybe this thruple date isn't such a good idea

if it's gonna cause problems between you two.

Problems? There are no problems.

This is just our bicker-y banter.

We don't always see eye to eye.

Yeah, but opposites attract, like we learned in chemistry.

And from Paula Abdul.

So you guys are... you're cool with each other?

Oh, cooler than cool. We are really close.

So close, in fact, we've kissed,

because I'm attracted to girls sometimes too.

Me too. I have kissed girls.

One girl, singular.

But, like, a bunch of times.

So tomorrow night's a go?

- Can't wait. - Absolutely.

Is this a joke? How does anyone ever

get these things to stay up?

Boob tape and good fortune.

Ugh. Can we be done with this?

We're finding you the perfect dress for your big date.

It's not a date.

No more calling it that, especially around my mother.

So she doesn't know you're going with a boy?

She can't know. Her head might explode.

Ooh, this looks like you.

Actually, I was thinking more...

this.

Holy nip slip, that V goes all the way down to your V.

I know.

Shane can't compete with this cleavage.

Is that the only reason you're doing this, to beat Shane?

What?

No, I-I really like Wade.

I mean, he's cute and funny and...

Into girls and guys. That doesn't bother you?

O-M-G. Reagan, I didn't realize you were here.

Low blow.

But, okay, point taken.

Unlike your close-minded ex-girlfriend,

I'm totally cool if Wade wants to swing both ways.

In the course of a single night?

He's going out with you and another guy at the same time.

And, oh, yeah, that other guy happens to be Shane...

- your nemesis. - Nemesis?

- Uh-huh. - Hardly.

Karma's my nemesis.

Let her push all she wants, I'm not giving her an inch.

All of Wade's inches will be mine.

Yeah, but Wade seems to like Karma.

He only thinks he likes her. He's like a gay butterfly

not yet sprung forth from its cocoon.

He's still, like, 10% bi-curious caterpillar,

caught in transition.

Right, 'cause guys cannot be bi.

Exactly. Like Bigfoot.

You know, there's a sighting every now and then,

but, like, no one has real proof.

You're doing that thing where you say "like" a ton,

which means you don't even believe yourself.

Okay, fine. If you want me to let Karma

have Wade all to herself so that they bump and grind

on the dance floor and beyond...

- No! - Shh.

Uh...

I mean, I can't really tell you what to do.

- But I can. - Shh.

Uh, excuse me, I'm a substitute teacher here.

These stupid rules don't apply to me.

You're lucky I don't write you up.

I hope I'm half as cool when I'm old like you.

Got to make a run for econ. Bye, Sash.

It's only six years, skid mark.

So is this where you tell me that I've been

a naughty schoolboy and you need to discipline me?

What the hell are you babbling about?

Your unrelenting mission to seduce me?

I'm sorry, what?

Maybe in Little Liam's 12-year-old

choke-your-chicken- to-my-school-photo dreams.

That was just the one time. And wait a second...

just the other day, you told me

that you wanted to teach me a thing or two.

Yeah, in history class.

You licked my ear.

I lick plenty of ears.

It was a joke. I'm funny like that.

So that's how you want to play it?

Liam, games are for children, like you.

Theo, you have to come up with new excuses,

or else people are going to figure us out.

Five minutes? What happened to the usual ten?

It's prom week. I can really only spare five.

So start talking.

Lauren, I know you said yes to Tommy

because you're mad at me,

so stop avoiding me and let's talk about this.

Look, Tommy is a necessary evil,

and I haven't been avoiding you.

I'm just super busy planning prom.

It's just a party in the gym.

"A party in the gym"?

Theo, prom is a rite of passage

forged through decades of tradition.

It's a night that every student here will remember

for the rest of their lives, including me.

Too bad I can't take my boyfriend.

Five, six, seven, eight. One and two...

Well, now I know being a surgeon is out of the question.

Shh. Tommy needs to concentrate.

- Oh! - Ooh!

Sorry, my bad.

Of course it's your bad. It's been your bad 17 times now.

Forget it! Thank God I am planning prom,

because I know at least it will be perfect,

even though my prom date won't.

Now let's just go up to my room.

To make out?

Gross. No.

To review my Pinterest board of classic photo poses.

That way, maybe you won't screw up our prom pics.

Look who I found out front while I was pruning the roses...

your prom date.

Amy, why didn't you tell me

that you were going to prom with a... Felix?

Oh, never mind.

Um, I'll skedaddle and let you two chat.

And, Felix, you come early for pictures tomorrow night,

you hear? No excuses.

With my exceptional powers of deduction,

I'm sensing you didn't want your mother to know about us.

Don't take it the wrong way. It's just...

I tried really hard to get her to accept that I'm not straight,

and now I'm sure she's in there picking out our wedding china.

If you don't mind me asking,

if you're not straight, then what are you?

Allergic to peanuts... and labels.

I'm sorry.

Hey, don't apologize. We're teenagers.

We're not supposed to have all the answers, right?

Now take my tuxes.

I rented two because I didn't know

if we were going to be serious or subversive.

Me either.

I bought a strapless dress, so prepare yourself.

I'm gonna be doing this all night long.

It's so not me.

Hey, you could wear a burlap sack for all I care.

Just be you.

Tempting. It might be too itchy.

And...

I like you in the blue.

- Yeah? - Mm-hmm.

- - Oh, look at you!

Hey, hey, hold on, now. I'm trying to take a picture.

Honey, I'm sensing some passive aggression.

You remember what Dr. Phillips said.

We communicate better when we start with "I feel."

I feel like Dr. Phillips is full of horse .

Okay, photo sesh over.

Try not to murder-suicide each other.

That is not how I want to remember prom night.

All right, limo's waiting outside...

White, just like you wanted.

So? You want an award?

Son, have you heard of something called a Smith & Wesson?

How you doing, hon? You know girls.

They have to get the dress just perfect.

Oh, can I get you some more sweet tea?

Wow.

Well, don't you look... handsome.

What? Do I have a zit or something?

Um, no. No, you don't.

All right, you two, get together.

- Assume the position. - Ah.

Just, let's...