Alien Country

Come on, pull over!

Fine. You wanna rumble?

Let's rumble.

There's only one road out of town, buddy!

Damn, that was cool.

End of the line, James!

Think!

Take it easy!

Think about your-- Hey! Hey!

Put your hands where I can see them! Hands!

Take it easy!

Huh?

What the--?

Uh, sir?

Oh, sh-shit!

We got a runner!

James!

Wait!

You hitchhiking?

Nope.

Really? 'Cause it kinda

looks like you're hitchhiking.

Don't know what to tell ya.

Yeah.

Ev, where are you--

Well, my car broke down, again, Jimmy.

Yeah.

The car you said you fixed two weeks ago?

Uh, I did fix it two weeks ago, and she

was running like a champ.

Do you know what a champ is?

Okay. Okay.

Hey, you know what? Like anything else,

she just needs a little TLC.

Don't worry, darlin', I got you.

Oh, you got me?

Well, that's good. Because I'm late.

No, no, no, no, no. Hey, look, it's okay.

I can fix it, you know, at least before

the fairgrounds, tonight.

The fairgrounds...

Did you forget?

No, I didn't forget.

I've just had other things on my mind.

Jimmy, I'm late.

Where are you going?

Apparently nowhere. My life is going

nowhere. My car is going nowhere, and I'm

gonna be stuck here in Blue River, forever.

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa... stuck here?

I thought tonight that we-- Hold on.

I thought you liked this town.

Can you fix it?

Yeah, of course.

Good. 'Cause like I said, I'm late.

What--

Well, how am I supposed

to know what she wants?

Try it now.

To understand a woman, you

have to think like a woman.

How do you do that?

You can't.

Women are capable of experiencing

multiple emotions at the exact same time.

Okay, I did that a couple of days ago.

I was angry and hungry at the same time.

No, that's hangry, and technically that's

one emotion. That's what

I'm saying. It can't be done.

Look, I just-- I need to figure out a way

that I can show Ev that the guy that she

chose to accidentally be

her baby daddy is a winner.

Are we still talking about you?

Okay, you know what? It's not what you say,

it's how you say it.

What's this?

I don't know.

Well, it looks like some

sort of music competition.

You think that that's what she was upset about?

Did she miss it?

I don't think that's it.

It's still three days away.

So then there's still time.

Okay.

I know the last time I

drove it didn't go so well.

That's a massive understatement.

Yeah. But if I drive and I win,

I could prove to Ev that I'm not a mistake.

No, I can't. Mel's got me on a really

tight leash with you, man.

Come on, just one more.

No.

Please.

Stop with the eyes. You're--

If Mel asks, it was my idea.

It was your idea.

From the beginning.

It was a good one, too.

You should try it now.

You didn't do anything.

I haven't done anything yet.

Yeah, that's true.

Well, excuse me for being the first

person in history to

try to leave this town.

But you left town without telling your

best friend and your nana.

I know. I'm sorry, Mel. I just--

Plenty of people leave this town.

Some even against their own will.

Oh, Nana. I don't think she's talking

about being abducted.

I know. Nobody ever talks about it.

Let's just face it. I'm never gonna be

able to do what I want to do.

Sweetheart, you absolutely can.

If you want to sing, the universe will be

on your side, but you have to communicate

that to your baby daddy.

Remember when you ran off in the eighth

grade and I spent two

days looking for you?

Yeah, I was hunting chupacabra.

With Jimmy.

With Jimmy.

Now, if I'd known that's what you wanted to do,

you would've had my full support.

You just needed to tell me about it.

What about after the big hoot'nanigans tonight

that you sing a couple

songs at The Trading Post,

you know, have a couple beers--

Or water and prenatal vitamins.

Or water and prenatal vitamins.

And nachos.

Nachos.

How about some hot wings

and maybe something pickled?

Okay, one step at a time. All I'm saying is,

stop stressing so much about it,

all right? You've got plenty of time.

Exactly.

Because nothing ever

happens in this town.

Hey, Gus. The needle

thing is actually moving.

Finally.

What the--

Hey.

Maybe this ain't such a good idea.

Ah, shut up.

Jackpot.

-huh, what the!

huh... ah!

What the--

Gus?

Bo?

What the hell's going on out there?

Oof!

Come on!

Just hold it right there.

What were you doing driving like a bat

out of hell off the old monument land?

What, is that against the law?

Speeding?

Yes.

Which one of you two is the smart one again?

Me. --I am.

Uh-huh.

You know, I've been hearing a lot of

reports of looting for the last four or five months now.

Looting?

Yes.

I imagine it's a

term you're familiar with.

People going up to the sacred historical

sites and taking stuff.

Grave robbing, essentially.

We ain't up to nothin'.

Uh-huh.

Well, which one of you

two makes more money?

Me. --I do.

Good.

Don't worry about the ticket, boys.

Oh, come on.

It's not the end of the world.

Ladies and gentlemen,

are we ready for a little demolition derby!

All right, folks.

Let's hear it for America.

Hey.

Oh, hey.

Johnny, what are you doing here?

Oh, well, Johnny thought it would be a