Death Drop Gorgeous

Let's go, let's go.

I know Tony.

Everybody knows Tony.

Get the fuck out, stay the fuck out.

Hey, man, what have you got?

Fucking sweet.

Where did you get this shit?

So are you new in town or?

What the fuck?

Fuck off me.

Help, help, please somebody help!

Of course not.

- What happened to the bed and breakfast

you opened up in Ogunquit with your boyfriend there?

It just didn't pan out.

- Never, ever go into business with your boyfriend.

Didn't I tell you that?

Not that I can recall.

So you want your job back.

- Tony, I'll take any shift you can give me.

- Can I get you to push some of this shit around?

I got a guy but he keeps coming back short,

he's a fucking junkie.

- That's not the kind of job I was looking for

and I don't really think I'd be any good at that.

- Yeah, I suppose you wouldn't be, would you?

Look, I'm not short on bartenders

but you're a hard worker, I remember that.

Come down on Tuesday night, I'll squeeze you in.

Are Tuesdays still karaoke?

That's all I got right now.

So don't come in and asking for more.

Thank you, Tuesday's fine.

- The club ain't the same as it used to be,

got a younger crowd now, different speed.

- But do they still call you Tony Two Fingers?

Tuesday is cool, I'll see you Tuesday, Tony.

Thank you, thanks.

- Who the fuck am I gonna get to push this shit around?

Oh my God.

Hold the fucking phone.

- It's not that big of a deal, Brian.

It's still exciting.

I mean, Tuesday isn't really that exciting

but it is something.

And you're gonna be working at the same bar as Janet,

and she's performing tonight.

You, me, we're going out on the town

and celebrating your job.

- No, I think I just wanna lay low tonight.

Don't be such a Les Mis.

There's a whole world out there, Dwayne,

and you need to start living your life.

We're going out.

You're buying the drinks, bitch, bye.

Whatever.

So just a heads up,

but there is a guy that's gonna meet us there at the bar.

What?

Don't be weird about it.

It's just some guy that I met off Poundr.

So I'm the third wheel?

No, it's not like that at all.

Listen, he's a grad student, super handsome

and did I mention, a top!

Enchanté

Brian?

The one and only.

Oh my God, you look just like your profile picture.

Oh, this is my friend, Dwayne.

He just moved back here

but he just got out of a relationship

so he's a little vulnerable right now.

Hey, what's up?

- So then I was in the production

of "You're Good Man, Charlie Brown."

I was Snoopy.

Snoopy had lines?

Yeah, Snoopy had lines.

Not to mention the choreography.

I was the red baron.

- What ever happened to Gloria Hole?

Who is Gloria Hole?

Gloria Troll?

What happened was whiskey, gravity

and some basic song choices.

Janet Fitness is the future of drag.

- Now the performance

you've all been waiting for,

the queen with the best body in Providence

- Oh my God, it's her, this is Janet Fitness.

- Put your hands together for Janet Fitness.

- Oh my God, she was perfect, wasn't she?

She's a hashtag goddess.

I haven't really felt this way

since I first discovered Idina Menzel, you know?

Dude, I'm not feeling this.

What?

- No offense, but I like dudes who act like dudes.

Excuse the mouth?!

- And for the record, I'm not into blacks either.

So you know what, I'm gonna go get a drink

and you guys do your own thing.

Ciao.

Ciao?

Who even says ciao anymore?

This is awful.

Fuck that dude.

I douched for this.

- What the fuck is up, Providence?

How y'all doing tonight?

We have a special treat for you tonight.

We have Audrey Heartburn,

slutty shot boys,

and a fat ass contest

which some of you should enter right now.

Are you ready to have a blast?

Woo!

Fuck you.

- Janet, you were great out there.

Bitch, I know.

Mirror, mirror on the wall.

Why even bother asking?

Hey man.

You in here?

Alright.

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

Oh fuck.

Hey, why'd you stop?

Dude, are you gonna suck it or not?

Watch the teeth.

Dude, watch the fucking teeth!

- I cannot believe that that self-loathing,

misogynistic and racist fucking faggot

had the audacity to be such a faggot.

- Well you dodged a fucking bullet ditching that one.

A bullet?

I dodged a God damn clip.

Are you fucking kidding me, I'm too fem?

Did you catch that motherfucker's penny loafers?

Thanks for breakfast.

- Please, it's the least that I could do

after you took care of me last night.

I don't even remember what happened.

There's not much to remember.

Don't worry about it.

- You never told me what happened.

About the rest of last night?

No, fuck last night.

I wanna know what happened with you

in the bed and breakfast in Ogunquit.

You just said, oh, it didn't work out and left it at that.

- There's not much more else to say about that.

Dwayne, are we not friends?

Are we not close?

You can talk to me.

There was someone else.

There was another guy.

Mm.

- And at first I started to like, feel him change, you know?

But I thought that was just how like relationships go.

You get used to seeing each other

every God damn day of your lives.