Yowis Ben

[audio in this movie is spoken in Indonesian and Javanese]

Crickets! Now what?

You broke down yesterday, now you break down again!

Can you not break down, just for a day?

Damn bike!

Keeps breaking down! Crickets!

Hey! Why are you kicking my trishaw?

Why did you kick my bike?

-Bayu, right? -Yeah, what's wrong?

-Kamidi. -Kamidi what?

What is this? My bike broke down and now I'm meeting a nutjob!

-Just a second! -Come on, let's fight!

-No, no, just a second! -Let's brawl!

Here, still wanna fight?

Surprise!

-You've seen my band? -I haven't just seen it, man.

I'm your admirer! Your fan, man!

-I have a fan? -You do, lots of them!

-Where? -At the corner of Kaliurang.

It's called YWBFC Uni ted.

-You mean "united"? -What you just said.

-Uncle, it's Bayu! -Bayu, huh?

OK, fine. I'm sorry, I thought your bike had been bad to you.

Thanks.

-My bike's safe, right? -Of course it's safe, Bayu.

The mechanic is a member.

-A member of what? -A library member.

Huh? Library?

What library member? Of course, a YWBFCU member.

-You don't have to pay. -Seriously?

Seriously! But you have to give me free concert tickets, OK?

-Free concert tickets? -Yeah.

What concert? Yowis Ben was disbanded.

What!

Ouch!

What happened to Yowis Ben?

We split up.

Split up? How can you say that so easily?

What else do you want? We split up.

What else? Come here!

Now you tell me, why did Yowis Ben split up?

OK, fine. So here's how it went.

STEVIA, YOU'RE SO PRETTY, I LOVE YOU

It's been 21 hours, 15 minutes and 44.5 seconds since it was read,

but she's not replying.

Then what if later...

It's all right, Bay.

My poetry works like a charm.

Back in the day, no school idol could resist my poetry.

But she's ignoring me. She's not responding, Uncle Jon.

Girls have a huge sense of pride.

You don't believe me? Just look at me.

What do you mean, Uncle Jon?

If they didn't have a huge sense of pride, I wouldn't be single!

Perhaps your poetry is out of style, Uncle Jon?

Listen, Bay. If this poetry yields no result...

just spank your friends' butt!

What the heck?

You're the one who wrote it, why do I have to spank my friend?

Focus! Don't lose your spirit.

Miss Jum, instead of working by yourself, let me support you. Aren't you tired?

No, you shouldn't.

If Kartolo marries you, your stand will go bankrupt.

You're no better yourself!

You dress like you just got circumcised.

-Stop bragging. -Unlike him, I'm a wealthy man.

-Thanks to loans? -Yes, but I pay them back.

-In installments. -But I finish them.

You should be with me, I have lots of houses.

Bee houses.

-The ones that stung your head? -How come?

Enough, enough. Why do you old men always flirt with me?

But we're not bat-food old.

Here comes her big brother.

You're wrong, that's her little brother.

-Is he her younger or older brother? -These old-timers.

You've been chasing my sister since the colonial era.

I've been chasing her since Majapahit era, but your sister been playing hard to get.

How much does she cost? It shouldn't be more than 10,000.

You think I'm a bag of shrimp paste?

No way, I only have one sister.

Photocopy her to make more of her.

How much can you afford?

-So she's really for sale? -Enough.

-Jon! -Better than nothing, Sis.

What the heck?

-Mother, where is the pecel salad? -Here.

All right, I'm going, OK?

-Careful on your way, child. -OK.

Bay, don't forget what I told you.

Jon, what have you been teaching my son?

Nothing, Sis. Just teaching Bayu to enjoy life during his high school days.

So that he won't become like these geezers.

You're corny yourself.

Fine, fine. I'm leaving, everyone.

Please.

-Assalamualaikum. -Walaikumsalam.

There, so you see?

Every day I helped my mother sell pecel.

So, that's why.

-Uncle! -Hi!

PLEASE SLOW DOWN

Thanks to that, all the kids called me...

Pecel Boy!

"Pecel Boy."

I wanted to be regarded as more than that.

But that was all right. It was all for my mother.

Selling all the pecel, getting all the money.

Really, that's the truth.

So, guys, Bayu sent me some poetry yesterday.

Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

I took a screenshot, and I printed it!

-Here he is. -What is it?

Way to go, Bay. Joss.

So, should I read his poetry?

Read it!

Read it, Man.

"Stevia."

Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

"Coffee is black."

"Banana fries are brown."

-"Stevia." - Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

"You are beautiful."

Smooth!

"And I fell in love."

OK, fine. Stevia, do you accept or not?

Well...

No.

Bay. You know Stevia is loose-lipped.

The guys call her "Stevia, granddaughter of Lambe Turah." Like that.

Of course she spread your poem around, you're toast!

My goat just gave birth, we don't know where to put her.

What a lovely laugh.

-Like an expensive singing bird. -Ouch.

That's the kinda girl you should chase.

I tried to hook up with the one with the pink headband.

- Pink headband? -Yeah, she's pretty, isn't she?

But her dad is mean.

Ah.

Then I tried to hook up with the left one.

-The left one? -Isn't she pretty?

Her dad is nice.

-But? -Her mother is mean.

Doni is weird.

Clearly he's incompetent in approaching girls.

And he's trying to teach me.

It works both ways, Bay. You have to...

Why are you looking at me like that? You're making me blush.

-Stop smiling like that. -Not at you.

There, the girls are smiling at me.

Not at you.

They're smiling at that guy.

Sheesh.

Who do you think we are?

I'm going to the toilet.

You haven't eaten anything, and you go to the toilet?

At first, I thought Doni was right.

I was nothing to Susan.

-But that day, a miracle happened. -

VOICE MESSAGE FROM SUSAN

Hi, is this Bayu? How do you do? This is Susan.

At Belimbing Market, Japanese tomatoes are 8,000 rupiah per kilogram.

At Guyub Rukun Market,

-Dutch carrots are 15,000 per kilogram. - Uncle!

- Uncle! - I'm broadcasting live.

I need your suggestion.

At Gadang Market,

-medium sized potatoes are... -Susan, the prettiest girl in school...

-Lawang Market... -She sent me a voice note.

You can get Susan for the price of 20,000 per kilogram...

What are you doing?

At Lawang Market, red chilies are 45,000 per kilogram.

-At market... - Uncle! Susan, Uncle! Susan!

Who is this Susan? What about Stevia, Bay?

- Stevia is history. -Green beans are history.

You're making my beans history, Bay!

Never mind that. What am I supposed to say to her?

-If you tell me, I'll leave you alone. -OK, fine.

Just tell her shallots are 15,000 per kilogram...

What are you saying? What should I tell her?

OK, fine, just tell her anything you want.

-What's so complicated, Bay? - OK, fine, anything.

Hey, what were you reading?

Read the songs chart, not vegetables.

I'm reading the songs chart, miss.

Via Vallen at Ngasem Market, 45,000 per kilogram.

MALANG PUBLIC HIGH SCHOOL

Yes! Look, look. I've almost reached 10K followers.

Look, look, 10K.

No, I'm not looking. Look at my followers, 15K.

I bet you bought them, right?

- -Susan!

-Who are you? -Your follower, maybe.

I have no follower like this. Perhaps he's your follower.

As if. I too have no follower with this kind of appearance.

-I'm Bayu. -Bayu who?

I was contacted by Susan yesterday.

Contacted by Susan?

A scruffy guy like you was contacted by Susan?

Do you even have significant Instagram contents?