Empire of the Ants

THIS IS THE ANT.

TREAT IT WITH RESPECT.

FOR IT MAY VERY WELL BE THE NEXT

DOMINANT LIFE FORM OF OUR PLANET.

SOUND INCREDIBLE? IMPOSSIBLE?

HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN A GOOD, CLOSE LOOK

AT WHAT THE ANT IS ALL ABOUT?

LIKE THESE ATTA CEPHALOTES.

ONE OF THE 15,000 DIFFERENT SPECIES INHABITING OUR PLANET.

THIS ONE CULTIVATES CROPS OF FUNGUS FOR FOOD.

OTHERS HERD APHIDS, JUST AS MAN HERDS CATTLE.

AND WHAT ABOUT THE WARRIORS?

THE BUILDERS OF BRIDGES, ROADS, TUNNELS?

FRIGHTENING, ISN'T IT, THAT A CREATURE AS SMALL AS AN ANT

IS ABLE TO HAVE A FAIR CLAIM TO RANK NEXT TO MAN

IN THE SCALE OF INTELLIGENCE?

THEY HAVE A SOPHISTICATED COMMUNICATION SYSTEM.

SPECIFIC MESSAGES ARE TRANSMITTED

FROM ONE ANT TO ANOTHER

THROUGH THE USE OF A CHEMICAL SUBSTANCE

CALLED PHEROMONES.

IT CAUSES AN OBLIGATORY RESPONSE.

DID YOU HEAR THAT?

OBLIGATORY.

PHEROMONES GIVE AN ORDER THAT CANNOT BE DISOBEYED.

IT'S A MIND-BENDING SUBSTANCE THAT FORCES OBEDIENCE.

BUT WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT.

THAT'S BUSINESS BETTER LEFT TO THE ANTS.

Got it?

What took you so long?

I stopped to get some extra liquor.

You should've let me know.

I didn't know I was supposed to be on call.

You're always supposed to be on call.

Sorry, Ms. Fryser.

That's all right, sweetheart.

You're so terrific in the sack

that it almost justifies the excessive salary

that I have to pay you.

By the way, captain...

Try and give us the smoothest possible trip, will you?

We don't want any of our

prospective buyers getting seasick.

Yes, ma'am.

Sick people do not buy property.

I'll cut between the waves.

You do that.

I'm sure you remember, by the way,

that I'm paying you damn good money

to rent this boat, captain.

I'm sure that if I forget, you'll remind me.

Oh, well, it looks like our guests

are finally arriving.

Sure a nice boat, isn't it?

We went on a bigger one to Mexico that time.

Yeah, but we paid for that trip.

Two-bit cruise down the coast to look at overpriced swampland.

You always said you wanted a home on the ocean.

Yeah, I said a lot of things.

You coming?

Yeah, yeah, all right.

You win. We'll go for a boat ride.

Here's a $10. Keep the change.

But, lady, the fare's $9.80.

don't mention it.

What are you doing?

The letter said everything was free.

I'm writing down all our expenses so we can be reimbursed.

Umm...

Before I board your ship, may I ask you a question?

Yes, ma'am.

I just want to make certain that I'm under no obligation

to buy any of your property, in case I change my mind.

It's not my property, lady.

I just get you there and get you back.

Thank you.

Let's get this circus on the road.

Hi. Are you Ms. Ellis? Yes.

I'm Marilyn Fryser, I'm the president of Dreamland Shores.

Come and meet some people. This is Mr. and Mrs. Lawson.

Hello.

And this is Larry Graham.

I think we have everybody on-board now.

Think that'll please the bitch?

Ever see anything that did?

What a rip-off.

She'll bring a boatload of slobs down here

and convince them it's paradise.

It wouldn't be so bad around here if it was close to something.

A road, a town, anything.

What about diamond Springs?

Sure, that's practically next door.

All you do is walk 2 miles to the river

and swim upstream another 10.

You ought to read the contract she makes them sign.

The jerks that buy this swampland

can't even sell it for 2 years.

Dreamland shores won't be here in 2 years.

Why don't you try some of the meatballs over there?

They are really tasty.

Are you ladies having a good time?

Lovely.

Just marvelous, thank you.

It'd be wonderful. Everything is so fresh.

It's unbelievable.

Everything all right here?

It's great.

You won't believe how difficult it was

for me to convince Larry to come this weekend.

Mr. Thompson? Yes.

Have you taken some good pictures?

I think I have some dandies.

Excuse me.

Where are those 2 guys that you hired?

I suppose they finished their work and they left.

Left?

Well, you can tell them that they're fired.

Speaking of that, why don't you try a little of that

old-world charm that you're so famous for on our guests?

I'm not running a charity organization.

I've always wanted to live near the water.

It's beautiful here, isn't it?

Yes, it is lovely.

How are you doing?

Fine. Charlie, right?

Right.

Good, Charlie.

What are you doing?

Trying to figure out what everybody's doing here?

Here to buy land. What else?

Not everyone.

Our average is 1 out of 3 people

come along just for the ride.

You should be more careful who you invite.

We sure would like to,

but we get stuck with that statistic no matter what.

What about this group?

Think you can figure out who'll be the buyers and who aren't?

Not exactly.

But I think I've got you figured out.

Tell me.

Not only could you not afford a lot,

but I think you'd have a hell of a time

swinging for the boat ride.

Am I right?

Cheers.

Excuse me.

Have you had enough?

Enough what?

Party bullshit.

I know what you mean.

Why don't we take a look around? See if this place is for real.

I don't think your wife would like that.

Uh, we have different interests.

I'm sure you do.

How about it?

Yes, Mr. Stratton is the vice president

of international management consultants.

I've worked for him about 20 years.

His personal executive secretary,

you understand.

It's quite a responsibility.

Cheap scotch. I think its all a come-on.

So what? It's free, isn't it?

That's what velma and I like the most.

That's a long time to be with one company.

Not when you consider all the benefits that can accrue...

Gifts, bonuses, retirement pension.

No wonder you're looking into land investments.

I wouldn't say that I'm exactly looking for investments.

Now, don't you worry.

Nobody is going to hustle you into buying anything.

Dreamland Shores sells itself.

Mmph!

That's not what we came out here for.

Come on.

I must be crazy or something. I just met you an hour ago

and here I am out in the woods playing hot fingers.

Loosen up.

Let me go!

Look, I just got out of one married man.

Not with me.

It'll be one of the big disappointments in my life.

Where you going?

Let go!

Come on.

You know what it's all about, baby.

Let me go, you son of a bitch!

Relax, relax.

That's it.

I just want to get to know you, that's all.

Ok.

We're gonna be good friends. Aah!

Shit!

Ohh! Ohh!

Excuse me.

I was going to ask you if you'd like to join the entertainment,

but I see you found your own.

Yeah, we were just looking around.

Yeah, we were just looking around.