Choked: Paisa Bolta Hai

OCTOBER 2016 MUMBAI

Hi.

Hey, done with school?

Dinesh!

Did you put the tea leaves in the sink?

Hasn't your mother taught you anything?

Watchman!

Call the plumber. The pipe has burst!

Sushant!

Dad!

I've re-directed the flow.

All the waste will go in here.

Okay?

This pipe needs to be replaced.

-Sushant! -Dad!

Come here.

You lazy bum.

What is it?

Come for a game of carom.

Coming. You start.

You won't score anyway.

Come down first.

Hang this up to dry.

One...

Two...

Three.

SOUTH MUMBAI COOPERATIVE BANK

Madam, your phone is ringing.

That's the problem with Indians.

We don't even trust machines.

The poor thing has told you twice that it's 40,000.

But no...

We have to count it all over again.

The machine's checked it twice. I've done it a third time.

I hope you won't count it again.

Why are these potatoes so big? Stock the smaller ones.

There won't be worms in this, right?

They don't take my permission before they enter it.

-What's up, Sarita? -All good.

-Back from work? -Yeah. Why?

I'm coming from work, too.

Feels good to be productive, right?

Dinesh also works around the clock.

It feels good to be busy.

Our Guru always says, "To work is to live."

It was good catching up.

I understand. I'm not saying I won't do it.

But hear me out...

I've already booked the caterer for 200 people.

Right?

No, but...

But...

No...

Should I renegotiate the whole deal?

Yes, exactly.

I'll call back in half an hour.

No, I will, for sure.

I need to go.

Just give me a moment!

This woman's been chewing my ear off for an hour.

Tell me.

She's adding the groom's colleagues to the list.

Everyone takes advantage of my politeness.

The guest list keeps increasing,

like ants emerging from a wall.

You're not making it easier, either.

I've been telling you for days!

Look at my ceiling...

It looks so ugly.

I've been at your door since noon.

But Sushant's naps are deeper than our sleep at night!

No amount of pounding can wake him up!

I don't have the time to solve every problem!

I have a wedding to plan.

There are guests at home.

This makes me look so bad.

Isn't it your house, too?

Fix your sink right away.

-Here, call my plumber. -No...

-Plumber-- -I'll get it fixed tomorrow. Don't worry.

-Do you promise? -Yes.

Swear on my life!

Trust me, I'll do it tomorrow.

I'll die if you don't!

-What are you saying? -You've been promising for days.

-I'll get it done. -Fine.

You know I can't depend on Sushant, and I'm swamped.

Don't whine. I do enough of it. Go on.

Did you buy spinach today?

Why is the door open?

Dad left it open. That's four.

Hey, little one.

Hey, little one.

Don't call me that.

How long has the water been leaking?

Did Dad see it?

It was there before I got back from school.

Dad saw it, but he ignored it,

and threw a wet towel at me.

And he left the bathroom lights on.

Sameer, why are the board game pieces scattered all over?

The Jed from Scrabble was on the bed. It's worth ten points!

Mom, it's Zed. Not Jed.

I know, I know.

And why is this chess piece in the pencil box?

And sharpen pencils over the garbage can.

This house looks like a garbage can.

-It's dinner time. -It's the last one!

Did you throw this bill?

Dad spilled tea on himself.

He used the bill as a towel and chucked it on the ground.

Bro, we need seven points. Let's get it done.

Don't chase the Queen for extra points.

He knows what to do. Don't instruct him.

What's your problem? He's on my team.

Some people need their hand held through life, Aunty.

Right, Aunty?

What do you mean?

-Why are you playing so slowly? -And what's so funny?

Answer me, Dinesh.

Your turn.

-Play. -Speak freely.

About what?

I've been noticing your jibes for days.

What's the matter?

Do you think you did all the work?

Do you?

We were partners, right?

So?

Who did all the work?

I picked up the slack.

-I found the clients. -Really?

I made the deals. I followed up. What the hell did you do?

Bastard, I brought in 19 of the 25 clients.

You've forgotten?

My former colleagues, my contacts at Uber, my share-trading contacts...

You barely managed a handful.

Yeah, because I've only had one stable job for the last several years.

Unlike you, I haven't been job-hopping every few months.

If your job is so great, why did you go into business with me?

Just play.

Enough. Let's play.

Anju must have given him an earful, Aunty.

-He's taking his frustrations out on me. -Let it go.

Fuck the game. Let's leave.

Hang on. Why did he bring Anju into this?

-So what? -Shall I bring your wife into it?

-Careful, Dinesh. -Sorry, I forgot.

He's the wife here.

Sarita wears the pants in the house.

-Fancy yourself a comedian? -It's the truth...

Fancy yourself a comedian?

Don't touch me.

-Stop me, then! -You're...

Stop me, then!

You're crossing the line, Sushant.

-You're the wife. -That's too much.

-You're crossing the line. -Why do you hide when she's back?

Bastard!

Dad!

-Dad! -What?

What is it?

Mom is calling you.

I'll be right there. Go.

You go, I'll come.

Leave.

It's nothing. Go on.

Go on.

You go.

Go. Your husband's back after a long day.

Just shut up!

-Have you lost it? -Yes, I have!

Dad!

I've told you to be home by nine o'clock.

The food is cold now.

That's why we have a stove.

Be like Modi.

Yes, you heard right. Eat mushrooms and...

Reddy's been calling me all day.

...the secret to Modi's good health and agility.

Why did he call you?

When will you pay him back?

How did you know I owe him money?

Your friends only call me when you owe them money.

It's not a debt.

Just a few thousand. I'll return it.

Did you ask Dinesh about your commission?

Eat mushrooms and become like Modi.

Come on, Sarita.

We've had potatoes three times this week.

Eat mushrooms and become like Modi.

Can't you find other vegetables at the market?

Or paneer, maybe?

Potatoes for a couch potato.

Be more, you'll get more.

Dad's a potato.

Ladies and gentlemen, our next participant

is Sarita Sahastrabuddhe.

9:25

It smells so good.