We're Not Safe Here

It's okay, Mommy.

Neeta. Everything All right?

I'm ready for winter break.

Yeah, me too.

- You ever hear from Rachel? - No.

You get ahold of her, you tell her to call the school

and, I don't know, give an update or something.

Yeah, sure.

Hey.

Want a drink?

What?

You look like you're about to fall asleep.

Yeah, I stayed up all night, just working.

Trying to start a piece.

How's it going?

Well, I hold the brush, I look at the piece.

Try to focus and I don't see it.

You're just blocked.

This is more than blocked, I'm anxious.

I...

I just don't know if I should do this anymore.

You are the most together person I know.

Don't doubt yourself or your art.

I gotta go.

I am meeting someone for dinner

and I don't want to be late.

Sorry for...for whining.

You're not whining, you're venting.

And you know you can talk to me about anything.

Anytime.

Rachel.

- Hey, Neeta. - I've been calling, what's--

You okay?

Yeah.

What's going on?

Your students, everyone's been asking about you.

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

No, we're just worried about you.

I've been wanting to talk to you,

I just--I'm dealing with some stuff.

What stuff?

Can I come over?

I know it's late, um,

but I really want to talk to you.

Of course.

We're all around you.

- Hi. - Hi.

This is it?

Oh, it's nice.

Is all of this your art?

Yep, I was just upstairs working on a piece.

Oh, I love this.

This one.

I framed it,

but I don't think it's finished yet.

You know, it looks like something,

like a--like a hand.

Hey.

We don't have to talk about this right now.

I'll be here when you're ready.

I'm just a little worried how you're going to take it.

No. No, don't worry about me. I'm okay.

It's a lot.

We have all night.

Where do I even start?

Start wherever feels right.

Um...

I'm sorry, um, I just haven't been--

I haven't been sleeping much lately.

I keep-- I keep having this dream.

There are people, shadows all around me.

Watching me.

I know they're moving closer.

I see hands reaching out for me.

It feels so real, you know?

It's terrifying.

And during the day,

I've been--I've been having these, like blackouts?

I'll be in bed, or on my sofa,

and it--and it just happens,

you know, I get this feeling of dread,

like my body knows it's about to happen.

And then I feel nauseous

and my muscles tense up

and then I wake up.

And all this time has passed.

When I come out of it,

it's like waking up from a dream.

Like I'm not sure if I'm-- if I'm awake or not.

Like I might still be in the dream.

My heart is racing and I'm just--

I don't know, I'm disoriented.

How long have you been having these blackouts?

A really long time, actually.

Since I was little.

Something happened when I was little.

So, growing up, my best friend Lilly,

she lived next door to me.

She was like my sister.

During summer we had the same routine.

Every day, she would-- she would wake me up

by throwing little pebbles against my bedroom window.

And then I would run downstairs, and grab my bike,

and we would just pedal to the park

and play for hours.

Though this one day. Same routine.

I grab my bike, and head outside,

and I can see right away.

She seems...shaken up.

So I ask her what's wrong, and she won't tell me.

Which is weird because we always told each other everything.

She's really agitated

and she says I don't know if I'm supposed to tell you.

I'm not supposed to tell anyone.

But I can't stop thinking about it

and I just don't know

if I can keep it inside me any longer.

So I'm trying to make her feel comfortable

and I say to her, "Look, whatever this is,

it's okay, you can tell me.

You know, you're my best friend and I want to help you."

I'm telling her all of this,

but at the same time I was also--

I was also really curious, you know?

Like I wanted to know what could put her

into such a state.

And this is what she told me. More or less.

So this happened near where I grew up,

but a long time ago.

Like 50 or 60 years ago.

Maybe longer.

This little girl, very sweet.

Very well behaved.

One night, she wakes up,

gets out of bed,

and stabs her mom

while she's sleeping.

Young single mom, it was just the two of them.

Grabs a knife out of the kitchen and just stabs her mom.

Over and over.

And then she strips off her mom's clothes,

and ties like a pillowcase...

...over her head.

So her mom doesn't have to see what's going to happen to her.

Then she drags her mom across the house.

No one's sure exactly how she did that.

She's, you know, tiny.

And her mom is badly hurt,

but she's still alive

and she's much bigger.

Somehow she does all of that

and she stuffs her mom into a closet.

She attacks her mom,

and then stuffs her in a closet.

- Yes. - Why?

Her friend in the closet

told her to do it.

That's what she said.

He was lonely,

and he wanted to meet her mom.

So, the next day the police go to the house

and they find this little girl sitting in the closet.

Brushing her mom's bloody matted hair.

Just talking away

with this friend.

Her mom is stuffed into the back corner.

Barely alive and bleeding out.

She died on the way to the hospital.

So I ask her,

"Who told you this?"

And she says, and I'll never forget this.

"My grandmother told me. She told me last night.

She made me promise not to tell anyone."

I was shocked.

Lilly's grandmother was dead.

She'd been dead for at least a year.

I knew that. I went to the funeral.

You don't think that maybe she was making it up?

No. No, Lilly would never lie to me.

She might have been trying to scare you.

She wasn't trying to scare me, okay?

But I was definitely scared.

I remember, in that moment, hearing all of that.

It was like something inside me changed.

Like every cell in my body was suddenly alert, and afraid.

You know, I looked around

and it was like the trees were closing in on us.

I told Lilly I wanted to go home

so we just grabbed our bikes and we got out of there.

We're taking our usual route home.

And the whole time my head is just spinning.

Like I can't stop thinking about what Lilly told me.

It's like I'm hearing it over and over in my head

on this endless loop.

And what finally snaps me out of it is,

I see Lilly up ahead.

She takes this sharp turn and she starts going

a completely different direction.

So I'm yelling at her, "Stop.

Like, what are you doing? Where are you going?"