Kimberly

[ singing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat." ]

SHIT! WAIT! WAIT!

A BIRD JUST TOOK A CRAP ON MY SHIRT!

IT'S ALL OVER YOUR HEAD.

ON MY HEAD? OH, SHIT!

WASN'T JUST ANY BIRD THERE, BOBBY, THAT WAS A TURTLEDOVE.

YOU JUST GOT SHIT ON BY THE BIRD OF LOVE.

IT DEFINITELY WASN'T THE FIRST TIME EITHER.

- HOW SYMBOLIC, BOB. - DEFINITELY MEANS SOMETHING.

I'VE HEARD IT MEANS GOOD LUCK, ACTUALLY.

I WOULDN'T WANT THE BIRD OF LOVE CRAPPING ALL OVER ME.

EXCUSE ME, IT AIMED AT THE WHOLE BOAT.

- MAYBE, BUT IT LANDED ON YOU. - YOUR LOVE LIFE IS DOOMED.

I WOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING IF I WERE YOU,

BECAUSE NONE OF YOU HAVE GOTTEN LAID IN MONTHS,

INCLUDING WALTER AND HE IS IN A PERMANENT RELATIONSHIP.

HOW PATHETIC IS THAT?

IT'S HARD TO WANT TO DO IT WHEN THE PERSON YOU'RE SEEING

IS DESPERATE TO GET PREGNANT.

I FEEL LIKE A WALKING SPERM BANK.

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY NO?

I HAVE TRIED ABOUT A THOUSAND TIMES.

AND THAT'S THE LAST TIME I TELL YOU ANYTHING.

EXCUSE ME, BUT I'M A PRETTY GOOD LISTENER.

IN FACT, I'VE BEEN STUDYING

HOW TO READ PEOPLE'S DEEPEST EMOTIONS IN THEIR BODY LANGUAGE.

THE EYES CAN TELL SO MUCH.

WHAT DO YOU SEE IN MY EYES?

I SEE A LITTLE BOOGIE.

THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

AND MICHAEL, WHOSE BALLS ARE SO BLUE--

DON'T EVEN START WITH ME. IF THERE IS ONE THING

I KNOW FOR SURE, IT'S HOW GREAT MY SEX LIFE IS.

MY SEX LIFE SUCKS.

ARE YOU HAVING TROUBLE GETTING AN ERECTION?

NO, THE SEX PART'S FINE.

IT'S THE RELATIONSHIP PART I'M HAVING TROUBLE WITH.

I LOVE WOMEN, I REALLY DO.

BUT EVERY TIME THEY BRING UP KIDS...

MARRIAGE AND THAT SORT OF THING,

I SEEM TO SHY AWAY, AND I WANT TO WANT THOSE THINGS.

WELL, WE'LL WORK ON THIS.

I GUESS I SHOULD TELL YOU THIS OTHER THING.

I CAN'T STOP LUSTING.

EVERY TIME I LOOK AT A WOMAN I WONDER WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE...

...YOU KNOW, TO HAVE SEX WITH HER...

AND I EVEN DID IT WITH YOU.

WELL, WE'RE NOW AT A POINT...

IN OUR THERAPY WHERE TRANSFERENCE TAKES PLACE,

IT'S NOT LIKE I THINK OF HAVING SEX WITH YOU

EVERY TIME I COME HERE.

I DON'T EVEN THINK OF YOU AS A WOMAN ANYMORE.

I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT.

THE REAL REASON I'M CALLING IS

WE'RE VERY EXCITED ABOUT THIS NEW COMPANY, SOUTH SHORE,

OR RATHER SOUTH SHORE'S COMPETITION, TEPCO SYSTEMS, INC.

YES. IT MADE SOME BOLD MOVES ON THE SUPER HIGHWAY,

AND WE FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT.

YES, IT WAS A SURPRISE TO ALL OF US HERE AT THE FIRM.

LAST WEEK THEY WERE STRUGGLING A LITTLE BIT...

...BUT THIS WEEK WE FEEL THEY'RE...

...COMING ALONG AND YOU KNOW...

THE IRON'S HOT AND WE'RE READY TO STRIKE, SO...

HOW MUCH DO I THINK YOU SHOULD INVEST?

WELL, THAT DEPENDS ON YOUR GOALS...

PERSONALLY, I WOULDN'T GO BELOW 25,000?

2,500 IS PERFECT AS AN INITIAL PURCHASE.

SHOULD I PUT YOU DOWN FOR 2,500 FOR TEPCO?

WELL, THINK ABOUT IT AND I'LL CALL YOU IN A DAY OR TWO

TO SEE HOW...

I'LL WAIT FOR YOUR CALL. BYE-BYE.

GOOD MORNING. GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING, MR. MONTGOMERY.

GOOD MORNING, JENNY. GOOD MORNING, VALERIE.

WOULD YOU GIVE ME THE SKETCHES FROM YESTERDAY

AND A HOT CUP OF TEA, PLEASE?

SURE THING.

HE IS LOOKING PARTICULARLY GOOD TODAY.

YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN.

GOOD MORNING, EVERYONE.

GOOD MORNING, PROFESSOR MUSHNIK.

I BROUGHT YOU SOME FRESH MINT...

BECAUSE I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE MINT.

THANK YOU, VALERIE.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I CAN DO FOR YOU?

ANYTHING?

NO, THANKS.

SHE WANTS YOU SO BAD IT HURTS ME.

WHAT HAVE WE GOT HERE, JIM?

HAVE YOU TAKEN A GOOD LOOK AT THAT WOMAN?

WHAT WOMAN?

VALERIE? YOUR SECRETARY,

THE ONE IN THE BODY THAT WALKS IN AND OUT OF HERE.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WENT ON A DATE?

JIM, I DON'T THINK THAT'S ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS.

ARE YOU LIKE ONE OF THOSE GUYS WITH A MOMMY ISSUE THING?

LIKE YOU DON'T WANT TO BETRAY MOMMY?

YOU GOT THE MONEY, YOU GOT THE JOB, YOU GOT THE LOOKS...

WHAT DO YOU HAVE THAT I DON'T HAVE?

JIM, COULD WE TALK ABOUT THIS?

I'M HAVING SOME REAL PROBLEMS WITH THIS CAMPAIGN.

I KNOW WHY YOU GET THE WOMEN TO LIKE YOU.

YOU IGNORE THEM, TREAT THEM LIKE SHIT.

WOMEN LOVE TO BE TREATED LIKE SHIT.

JIM, I'M PAYING YOU TO WORK HERE,

NOT TO PHILOSOPHIZE ABOUT WOMEN.

MY PROBLEM IS I'M TOO NICE. YOU HAVE TO KEEP IT COMPLICATED.

MR. MONTGOMERY? YOUR MOM'S ON LINE ONE.

THANK YOU, VALERIE.

VAL, HOW YOU DOING? YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT.

WELL, YOU ALWAYS LOOK LIKE SHIT.

HI, MOTHER.

NO, MOM, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU

NO BLIND DATES?

I'M REALLY HUNGRY. THIS IS SUCH A NICE RESTAURANT.

THIS IS A REALLY NICE TABLE.

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

I WAS THINKING HOW BEAUTIFUL YOUR EYES ARE.

THANK YOU. THAT'S SO SWEET.

THANKS.

SO TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?

WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO FOR FUN?

I LIKE TO ROW.

HOW CUTE.

I USED TO DATE A GUY WHO SAILED.

PHIL. HE ALWAYS WANTED TO TAKE ME SAILING,

NEVER WANTED TO TAKE ME TO THE MOVIES,

NEVER EVEN WANTED TO TAKE ME OUT TO DINNER.

HE JUST WANTED TO GO SAILING.

I SPENT A FORTUNE ON DRAMAMINE.

FINALLY, I FOUND OUT WHY PHIL LIKED GOING SAILING.

HE DIDN'T WANT TO BE SEEN WITH ME IN PUBLIC.

HE WAS MARRIED.

YOU'RE NOT MARRIED, ARE YOU?

NO, OF COURSE NOT.

JUST CHECKING.

SO, WHY AREN'T YOU MARRIED?

I HAVE SOME INCREDIBLE NEWS FOR YOU.

YOU GOT THAT PROMOTION. HONEY, THAT'S TERRIFIC.

NO, NO, NO. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME.

ARE YOU READY FOR THIS? ALICE IS PREGNANT.

OH...

CAN I HAVE SOME MASHED POTATOES, PLEASE?

THAT'S TERRIFIC, NANCY.

YOU COULD AT LEAST PRETEND TO BE EXCITED.

WHY? BECAUSE SOME GIRL WHO LIVES IN SEATTLE,

WHO I'VE MET THREE TIMES IN MY LIFE, IS PREGNANT?

I MEAN, I DON'T REALLY EVEN KNOW ALICE.

YOU WERE AT HER WEDDING.

OH...

READY? SET? GO!

I'M SPARTACUS!

BOTTOMS UP.

START CLEANING THE BAR.

MY MAN!

DID YOU GUYS HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND, OR WHAT?

I COULDN'T WAIT FOR IT TO END,

- WHY DO YOU SAY THAT? - BECAUSE THEY BORE ME.

DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU DO.

YOU FIND A GREAT GIRL, IT'S NOT THAT BAD.

DON'T YOU FIND IT MONOTONOUS DATING ALL THE TIME, BOB?

WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT DATING?

I MEAN THIS WHOLE THING ABOUT WINING AND DINING GIRLS.

IT CLICKS OR IT DOESN'T. IF IT DOES,

YOU CAN TAKE THE GIRL FOR BURGERS AND FRIES,

AND SHE STILL LIKES YOU.

WHY DON'T YOU SKIP THE AGGRAVATION?

WHAT WOULD YOU DO THEN?

STAY HOME, READ, WATCH A MOVIE...

CROCHET, KNIT, JERK OFF, WHATEVER.

WHY DO WE HANG AROUND WITH HIM?

STOCK TIPS.

HEY, WHO'S THE HOTTIE?

DON'T I KNOW HER FROM SOMEPLACE?

IF I KNEW HER, I WOULD REMEMBER.

ESPECIALLY IF YOU KNEW HER IN THE BIBLICAL SENSE.

WATCH OUT FOR THE WATER!

- HEY, I'LL GET THE OARS. - THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

YES, YES, YES.

CHEERS.

I THINK WE DID VERY GOOD TODAY.

NOT TOO BAD. NOT TOO BAD.

WE'RE COMING ALONG.

COME ON, WE'RE HOT SHIT.

I'VE GOT A GREAT IDEA.

LET'S TRY OUT FOR THE KINGSLEY REGATTA.

- WHAT ARE YOU ON, CRACK? - YES!

WE CAN WIN.

WE CAN ABSOLUTELY WIN IT.

NO, WE CAN'T.

PATRICK! ANOTHER ROUND OF J&B.

WE WANT TO MAKE A TOAST TO THE KINGSLEY REGATTA!

A TOAST TO THE KINGSLEY REGATTA!

WE'LL WIN IT! WE CAN DO IT.

WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?

THE THOUGHT OF YOU GUYS IN THE REGATTA.

YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY?

YOU GUYS STILL DICKING AROUND ON THE RIVER?

YES, WE'RE STILL DICKING AROUND ON THE RIVER.