Surviving Jack

When you are crazy about someone, it's hard to say goodbye.

- I'm going to miss you so much. - Promise me, you will be safe, OK!

Good God! She is going to a hoil for the weekend, not out in an organ trade.

Dad, we are trying to have a moment.

Oh, I got a phone card.

- It has a thousand minutes, do you think that is enough? - Yes.

When we talk... Let's look at the moon!

So we would know that we are staring at the same thing!

That one was a winner.

OK, go home, Frankie's girlfriend!

Dad, you just locked Heather outside!

She is not a dog. She can find the way out of the yard.

Sprinkle is coming on. In 5... 4... 3... 2...

SURVIVING JACK

So... I had a hot girl friend,

My gun was looking fully loaded.

What's that! What's up bloom!

Yep, Freshman's year was going pretty... What the hell is that?!

OK, we can fix this. Uh, moisturiser.

- Are you using my make-up? - What? No. That would be weird.

- Please don't tell anybody! - Dad, Frankie is using my make-up!

I don't think that's your colour, chief.

- Ew! - What?

You know we do it.

Now that mom is in law school and dad is in charge,

when Rachel want something...

she waited until the moment mom left.

Is it cool if I have some friends to sleep over tonight?

- Do I need to pick anyone up and talk to anyone? - No.

Can I sit in my room and watch MacGyver eating a sandwich in silence?

- Sad, but yes. - Then I got nothing to ask, go nuts.

Thanks!

Jack, did you tell Rachel she can have a sleep-over?

- Yes, what? - I will be in law library doing a paper. I can't help you tonight.

No, it's fine. I can handle this like Frankie's sleep-over last week.

Ok, Jack, a teenage girl's sleep- over is a giant crap storm.

It is not the same. Teenage boys... so stupid.

You can look at George!

His back bag has got into the fence.

Let's watch what his brain has decided to do!

He is one of the smart ones.

- I can't believe that you made out with Heather Blumeyer. - Swing!

I got a killer opener when she get back.

"Sup, girl? You look good."

And then I hit her with a sexy look.

It's not a good moment for you.

Be aggressive, bro! Take your shirt off like it's nothing!

It is not matter what you said to her. It is just basic biology.

Her brain is assessing whether you are a good mate by your size,

- and odor. - Hey, Rach!

I am wearing after-shave and I can fit my whole fist in my mouth.

Since I started dating Heather, I no longer feel like just a lonely freshman.

I was cool.

Ladies...

What's up?

Whoo, the little wave, I see you!

Are you nodding your head, or having a seizure?

I am throwing out 'What's up',

cause I'm kicking freshman year in the ass right now!

What's up?

Urg, Peter Stagman, aka Stags.

Frankie Dunlevy!

Las Plamas Highschool, resident douchebag.

- They are happy coming over here. - He want you to show fear.

Show him dominant, take your shirt off like it's nothing!

Dude, no. I got like these weird moles.

So... how is everything going with Heather?

Oh. We are good, we do not have anything in common except for Franky, but...

Dude, he was talking to me, and yeah, it is going really great.

Ohh, because I just heard a very funny story that,

the first time you guys kissed, you farted.

He wants you to react. Don't do it!

That was a lie! You are a liar!

Don't get over excited, buddy!

What do you think that we should call this guy. How about, "Frankie Fart-and-kiss".

"Fart-and-kiss"?

You have been a bully for 4 years, be better.

Well, that.., that was just off the top of my head, OK?

There are something there though. Let's go!

George!

20 years I gave that woman...

and she run off with a lifeguard.

It is her loss. Come on! Lon!

I mean he is so young.

What does she going to do all day, except...

watch him work out or save lives...

or jump into a pool and...

be strong and...you know what, that was not my best pep talk.

Some diagnosis came back negative, continue treatment.

Jack! Busy curing cancer?

I should go.

How is it you have coffee with him everyday,

and after 30 seconds, I want to put my face in the fence?

Because he is our neighbour, and he is going through a tough time.

If you want to run the house, that's part of the job.

Besides, he is the only one in the block that you haven't told to go screw off.

Remind to tell Lon to go screw off!

Hey, ladies!

No female should make a noise like that unless she is giving birth.

- Then I'm just still young. - Thank goodness, I am a doctor.

Have fun at the law library!

You know what, I will do my peps work here. Hey girls, listen!

There are snacks in the cupboard and "Pretty Woman" in the VCR.

Outside notes: Prostitution is not glamorous.

It is one way ticket to diseases, addiction, oh, and...

You are leaving. Good luck with that paper!

- Come on, I got this. - I know. But.

...so Sarah was all like: "Niel, if you talk to that skank, you are not...

grinding on any of this.".

- Then what did you do, Sarah? - I broke up with him.

- No, you didn't. - Yes, I did. - No, you didn't.

Kinda sound like she did. OK, ladies, here is the ground rule.

No screaming, no touching of my boozes,

no horse play anywhere near my photo

of me and Norman Swartz of course.

and absolutely, no calling up boyfriends.

Which I don't think going to be a problem for you.

Dad!

That's better not be my room.

Rachel's friend, open the door!

Damn it!

I better go pick up Frankie. Do you think your friend would throw herself out of my window?

- She's just gonna cry. - I can live with that.

Don't tell your mother, page me if you hear glass break!

Today sucked hard.

So what if it blown over, man.

May be in fact he would fall down in the assembly.

No way dude, that kid is super careful about how he walk at the assembly.

- What's your problem? - This guy talked all kind of smacks to Frankie.

- Call him "Frankie Fart-and-kiss". - "Fart-and-kiss"?!

- That is a terrible nickname. That will never stick. - Thank God!

I would go with "Fartacus".

Oh, no! Please tell me this stoner did not hear that!

Fartacus!

May be my dad was right, there is no way that nickname is gonna stick.

Hey, Fartacus!

What? It's a good nickname.

Fine, I'm sorry, I gave you the genius nickname everyone loved.

Solid apology.

Uhm, may be even later you can take a permanent marker,

and draw a penis on my face.

I don't know how that would help. You will need to deal with the situation in another way.

Take your shirt off, and punch Stags in the face!

- Michael, there's no winner in a fight. - I feel like there are.

Look, if you don't want to be known as, a fart kisser...

- I didn't do that. - We will never know that for sure.

Bottom line is, if you don't want to be known for something,

you should do something...

better. Change the narrative!

Hello? Yeah, he's right here.

No, no, wait a minute.

There is no Fartacus at this number. Don't call again!

- You friend is still in there? - Sarah is pretty upset.

She thought she and Niel have something special.

I'll fix this.

Sarah, this is Dr. Dunlevy.

What you and Niel had was not special.

Nice work.

Sarah, I know what you are going through.

Doug is mad at me because he thinks I hook up with Brian Hurley.

We are just lab partners.

Girls who look like us will always have these problems.

She doesn't look like you.

I know.

Sarah, just let me in!

Rachel, open my door! MacGuyver starts in five.

Hate that I can't get this opened.

If I was going to change the narrative, I need to come up with an epic idea.

Something genius.

What if I strip at the football game?

- Then everyone will see your penis. - Oh, right.

Forget it: just take your shirt off, and punch Stags in his dumb face!

Wait, I got it! Everyone see that sign in front of the school, right?

So what if we change the letters to say something funny?

- Then we will be legends. - I'm in.

My friends always have my back.

With one exception.

Where are the towers? Rachel said we might go swimming later.