The Integrity of Joseph Chambers

Hey, little Lady.

Hell's coming for breakfast.

Hey, little lady.

Hell's coming for breakfast.

Hey, little lady, hell is coming for breakfast.

Hey, little lady.

Hell is coming for breakfast.

Hey, little lady.

Hell is coming for breakfast. I got it.

You've been saying that for the last forever, Joe.

Am I supposed to pretend I can't hear?

It's Clint.

I'm sleeping.

So, is it the actual location that's coming for breakfast

or is hell actually coming for breakfast?

Like, is it like, "Get ready, little lady,

Friars Club is coming for breakfast."

Or is it, "Hey, little lady, Walmart is coming for breakfast,

because I need to know how many places to set."

You think you're funny, don't you?

- What is that? - Oh, you mean this?

Well, who's coming for breakfast? Satan? Hitler?

You love it.

No, please go back

to the bathroom, shave it off.

Not shaving it off. It's authentic.

It's my hunting look.

Yeah.

Hey, baby.

Authentic is how you walked into this town.

It looks good on me.

It does look good.

- That's right. - It does.

Now, hold on, hold on, hold on.

-Oh, wow. -Hold on, hold on.

Honey, why don't you hop back into bed?

Come on. I'll do this authentic guy.

Come on. Come on. I mean it.

Honey, come on, don't be...

Making fun of me. It's fine.

I mean so...

All right, let's have it.

-This is irresponsible. -You said that last night.

That's just stupid, what you're doing.

-You said that too. -Well, you're being an asshole.

Tess, why are you blowing this out of proportion?

Tons of guys around here hunt for their livelihood.

Your dad does it, Doug does it.

Uh, you're not from here, Joe.

You sell insurance for a living and you're really good at it.

Okay, well, I live here now, so what?

And you're understanding of here thus far is that moustache?

You haven't hunted enough with Doug to go out on your own.

I keep telling you I have a funny feeling about this

and you just keep ignoring that.

That was mean.

Yeah, it was.

I'm sorry.

We moved out here to provide our boys with a safe,

familiar place to grow up and not to become some...

end of the world Fox News people.

That's not what's happening. It's not what's happening, Tess.

You have nothing to prove. I love you...

without the moustache.

But there are a couple of girls I can whore you out to if you want it.

If things get worse, we need to know how to do this stuff.

Not that argument again.

No, why can't... why can't I say that?

-Why can't I say that? -Because...

Because I heard it my whole life. Okay?

I grew up with these mountains and my...

my dad prepping for the end of days.

-That's why I left. -This is stupid.

-I can't win this argument. -Oh, you can't? You know why?

Because it's not about providing, it's about your ego,

it's about you wanting to go out with the boys hunting.

So what? So what?

There's nothing wrong with that except for experience you don't have.

-That's why I'm going out. -With someone else, Joe.

That's how you learn. You don't learn alone.

No, you learn by going out there and doing it.

Right, you just go sit in the deer stand,

you wait for a deer, and you shoot it. Twelve-year-old boys do it.

Why can't I go out there and try it?

We agreed that we would learn together as a family.

We would grow a garden in the spring and can in the winter.

Go with Doug next week. That is all I'm asking.

It's not much.

I packed lunch for the entire day.

And I'm going to go out there and I'm gonna stay all day.

And I will not be home until tonight.

Okay. And if you kill something, you know how to disembowel it, right?

Babe, I can't... I can't. I'm not doing this.

-I love you. -I love you.

You better say goodbye to the boys. No doubt they heard us.

Love you, buddy.

Hey, little lady, hell's for breakfast.

You like that?

Will you say it for me?

That's why I'm coming in.

To tell you I love you and I'll see you tonight.

Okay.

You and Mom fighting?

No, not at all.

You're doing that whisper thing again.

Well, sometimes when Mom

and Dads need to have a conversation,

it's better that it happens in whispers.

You like it?

It looks funny.

I love you.

- I'll see you tonight. - Me too.

Hey.

Last offer.

Don't do this.

Don't do that. Don't.

-What are you doing? -Come on.

What are you doing?

Okay, then. Have fun out there.

You know what I'll be doing.

What's wrong with you, Joe?

Get a gun, go out, kill a deer just to go...

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Hey.

Can I borrow your... your rifle?

You ain't get one yet?

Tess, she, uh... she doesn't want to get one right now.

It... it doesn't matter. Can I just borrow yours?

- Do you need ammo? - No, I bought some.

-Tess let you get ammo? -She doesn't know I bought it.

Sorry, sorry.

- Got your tags? - Got them in the bag.

- You double check 'em? - Yes, Mom.

I ain't your mom.

All right, I know.

Won't be a problem on the property. No one can be on it.

But if an officer asks for your tags on the way back

and you don't have them, that's trouble.

I got it. Got it.

You remember how to get to the property?

- I believe so. - What else?

I... I can't think of anything else.

If you just wait 'til next week, I can go.

Thank you. But I've got two conferences next week.

-Plus, Tess... -No, I ain't in your marriage.

Unless you into some freaky stuff.

Keep it to yourself, then.

Look, keys are in the car

if you need to borrow it for any reason, have at it.

I ain't driving that jerk mobile.

That's nice.

Thanks again.

Hey, I'll be sure to bring that ten point by here

so you can get that photo op.

Godspeed.

That's your music, right?

You know, you've got neighbors.

All right, moustache. Have fun.

Strike one.

One and one is the count.

Joseph Chambers steps to the mound.

Bottom of the ninth. Two outs.

1991 World Series.

Strike two.

Too high. Too high.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Can Joe do it tonight?

And he may.

Minnesota. The talk of the sports world.

Outside.

Strike three!

Joseph Chambers has won the 1991 World Series.

The Minnesota Twins are victorious.

Joseph Chambers is an MVP.

He has just beaten...

Ladies and gentlemen!

There was never, ever any doubt.

We knew he could pull it off.

And tonight...

We have sat here and witnessed history.

I'm the moustache man

King of the mountain, here I stand

I'm the moustache man

King of the mountain, here I stand

I'm the moustache man

King of the woods, yeah, here I stand

I'm the moustache man

I'll catch it, I'll kill it any way I can

No, no, no.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, no, please no.

Oh, please just wake up.

Oh, please tell me this isn't happening.

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

Oh, please, God.

Please, please, please, please, please, oh, please.

Please, I'm so sorry.

Stupid fucking vest.

He's trespassing.

And I'm just standing my ground, right?