House Husbands

New term. Exciting day.

Hey, does anyone know a plumber?

Hey. Netball bibs, Mark. Your turn to wash.

No, I've got to work. It's the finals.

We need clean bibs. How are the pie sales?

Crap. Have you guys heard of EG Catering?

There's all these mums walking around

with bags saying 'EG Catering'.

No-one's buying pies.

Ah, Kane's Pies has a little competition.

C'est la vie.

See that? See how the French is starting to roll off my tongue?

Yeah. Virtually fluent. Oh, jealous, Lewis?

Maybe you could afford a holiday

if you didn't blow all your cash on a box with a view.

Box with a view. (LAUGHS)

Alright, have fun.

Daddy? Yeah, baby?

Dad, can you go through the park?

Yeah. That's a good idea. Come on, let's go.

See you, boys. So, have you asked her?

Who? Park chick.

The one you've been banging on about for weeks.

Just ask her out. You've been single for too long.

It's weird. Even Kane found someone.

Alex and I have been living together for over a year now.

Alright, see you, boys. Just ask her out.

Another one. Excuse me.

Do you mind telling me what's inside that bag?

Meatballs. New canteen lady - she's a caterer.

She makes everything - lasagne, curries.

Really reasonably priced...

Uh... Kane. Kane!

Thank you. Uh! Did I hear a thankyou?

No manners, no blueberry muffin.

Thank you.

Next.

Hi. My name's Kane.

What can I do for you?

Kane as in Kane's Pies.

You say that like it means something.

It does.

Well, it did till you turned up and started stompin' on my turf.

Sorry?

So you've been hired to take over the canteen?

Yeah. By him. P&C president guy.

Well, you know the drill.

We couldn't get a volunteer so we privatised.

She pays the P&C rent - and it's good rent.

More than what you used to make.

Plus I'm handing over a percentage of profits.

So you run the canteen. Fine.

Well, it's nice to get your permission.

You can't run your catering business THROUGH the canteen.

He said I could.

Did you?

You don't have a monopoly on catering.

That is true...

I've been selling pies at this school for four years.

You can't just turn up with your meatballs and...

Why not? You called Kane's Meatballs? No, they're called...

The point is, you're ruining my business.

I sold six pies this morning. My average is 36.

I'm not interested in your statistics.

I make meals for busy parents.

They love 'em. They love my pies.

Then I'm no threat to you.

He'll calm down. Maybe don't mention I bought a lasagne.

Henry, get down now. No!

Hi, Angie. Hi.

Any ideas?

If you don't get down now, I... will be even crosser...

I think I'm gonna have to go up.

Hey, Henry, you know Angie's big brother, Jacob?

He can get down from there in about 15 seconds.

So can I! He's nine years old.

You're only four. I can!

Alright. Shall I start the timer?

Alright, here we go. Ready? Set? Go.

You're a genius.

I know we've only seen you a few times in the park

but I was thinking maybe we can, um, go on a date.

Like a... like a playdate, I mean, you know.

Um, for the kids. Yeah. Totally for the kids.

And, uh, you can come along if you want.

Or not. But seeing these two get along so well...

Ow! Mama, she bit me!

I am so sorry. Angie, please, apologise now.

I'm sorry. You know what, we should go.

We should go. It hurts!

Really?

Everyone should downsize. It's fantastic.

You know, with cafes and restaurants,

I never have to cook another meal, Lewis never has to mow another lawn.

We can just pop out at any time, you know, catch a musical.

You hate musicals.

32-year-old window cleaner fell ten metres.

He's conscious, hypertensive, tachycardic.

OK. I'll put a line in. OK. He's got good air entry.

I can't find a vein.

Pupils are equal. Can I help?

What's the biggest cannula you've got?

Jeremy Saxon, new senior registrar.

I heard you were starting today.

I'm Gemma Crabb. I'm the nurse unit manager.

I heard you're a gun. Oh...

Suspected fracture, right tib and left fem, otherwise stable.

Get a scan.

I've applied for the specialist gig as well.

Sorry, what?

Threw my hat in, in case they want something a bit different.

Yeah, and your background's in aid work?

Before Africa, the Philippines.

Set up an inflatable operating theatre in the typhoon.

Wow, that is a tough gig.

Yeah. But everyone I helped was so grateful.

Just seeing their smiles made it all worthwhile.

He started today, he's trying to steal my promotion

and he's pretending to be lovely.

Maybe he actually is lovely.

Now you're on his side?

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm losing the plot.

I'll be normal again, as soon as we have this holiday.

Mark, tell me you've asked for time off.

I had to call a plumber.

We haven't had a proper holiday in three and a half years.

OK. I'll ask. I'll ask, OK?

Oh, um, some A4 folders and some red pens, please, yeah.

What? Urgently. Thank you.

Stationery. Pfft.

Really?

You had that terrified look you get when your wife's on the phone.

Rachel, have you, um, ever been to Paris?

I hear it's tres belle, which is French...

Do some work, Mark.

I wanted Henry to be my friend.

So you bit him?

Baby, that's not a good way to make friends, you know that?

There are way better ways to tell someone you like them.

How?

It's tough, OK?

Us Baynies, we're not the biggest talkers.

You know, we think someone is amazing but we can't always find the words.

You with me? Can we go to netball now?

Yeah.

Oh, where's the oranges? I've got them.

Dad's in a bad mood.

A lady at school was telling me, well...

And curries and lasagnes.

She's squeezing me out of the entire playground market.

Well, I met a lovely lady at school today. We were actually...

I'm being crushed by a catering mogul, Alex.

I don't want to hear about your lovely lady.

Hey. How you going? Great!

Hey. Hi.

I didn't expect to see you at a netball final.

Yeah, we're the cheer squad.

Yeah, everyone, this is Jess, Henry and Tash.

Hi. Hey.

How do you know Justin? We met at the park.

Oh!

Is, uh, Jess's dad in today? Uh, no, he's not around.

Oh, so you and Justin are both single parents.

You've got something in common.

Well, actually, um... Wankers.

How many coaches do they want?

Yeah, it's a little over the top.

Jess loves her netball.

Uh, my boyfriend actually volunteered to coach.

Boyfriend?

Rodney? Oh, you know Rodney?

Hey. Hi.

Justin. Rodney.

Uh, how do you know Justin?

We met at the park. The kids play. You?

I was his footy agent.

Yeah. You stole his wife.

Lewis.

No, this can't be... Is this Angie?

Yeah, yeah. Hey, sweetie.

You remember me? Oh, she wouldn't.

She was a baby when you and Nicola were...

I remember driving your mum to the hospital

when she was 36 weeks pregnant with you.

And she was in a real panic

'cause you came four weeks early

and your daddy was nowhere to be seen.

Yeah, I had a game that day.

Look at you now. How old are you?

Four and three quarters. Wow, so big!