Chicuarotes

One, please.

What a coincidence!

Are you going to work too, little clown?

No, I'm actually going down-clown.

Why don't you tell me...

What's your favorite food?

My favorite food is Bs.

Are you saying you eat bees?

No, I like the Bs in the alphabet soup!

Oh, well, do you know what I like best?

That kefir.

What?

No, I meant to say you like coffee best...

Stop being so cheeky and vulgar!

Tell me, do you know who the last saint is?

The last saint?

Do you know who the last saint is?

No, who is it?

It's Saint S'Over.

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen...

We're not the best actors or comedians,

but we rather do this kind of things,

than be punks, criminals

who rob you from your belongings, your money.

We prefer making you smile to making you afraid.

We only ask you for some spare change.

It could be one peso...

-Do you? Do you? -Some spare change?

-Do you have some spare change? -Do you have some spare change?

-Over here? No? -Some spare change...

Nobody? Nobody?

Gotta be kidding me.

People are fucking tight, man!

Not a fucking peso! Can you believe it? Fuckers.

Well, we should have rehearsed a bit.

Well, that's what I think.

Just saying.

Fuck it! Fuck rehearsing!

Listen, motherfuckers!

We tried being nice, but now you're fucked, assholes!

You, fucker, take it out.

Put everything over here!

Everything you have on you!

Hurry, man, help me out!

You keep driving, keep driving, nothing is happening!

Over here, dammit!

Get it all, damn!

Over here, this motherfucker! Quick!

You keep driving, and start pulling over, man.

-Sorry. -Little by little... damn right!

We're getting off, damn right.

Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed the show!

Don't forget to eat some bread for the scare.

What are you going to do?

What do you think?

Piss is 2 pesos. Shit is 5 pesos.

Two shits.

-Dude... -What?

-This one is dope for you. Keep it. -Oh, yeah...

Dope!

We only got cheap junk, not even an iPhone!

These are only worth the minutes they have left.

Check this out!

Whoa, wait. This isn't a piñata. I'm just showing it to you!

"Circus Show... Like in Las Vegas."

It's one of those casinos, right?

-Yeah. -Yeah.

Check this out, Moloteco!

Check it out!

It's like I told you.

In five hours, we barely made seventy pesos.

And now, a single easy hit and we're loaded.

Yeah, but...

What? Are you scared?

With a piece, nobody gets in your face.

-Is it Baturro's? -Yeah.

I'm not saying we should do it all the time.

Once in a while, it's fine.

If we only do the routine...

we're screwed.

That's how Cantinflas started...

Aren't you fed up going all the way downtown?

It's worse to return, man. Fucking two-bit town!

Do you really make good money?

Can you believe this dude?

Look.

Damn! Some days I don't even make 200 pesos.

Tell fucking Miguel to pay you more!

He doesn't pay me.

He gives me a quarter of the fares.

And you don't even make 200 pesos?

You're so fucked, Paestrudo.

Nah, this is just for now.

As soon as I save some money,

my uncle will get me a job at the Electricity Commission.

-That's for fucking electricians? -Yes.

My uncle works for the union.

And for 20 grand, he'll set me up with a job.

What do you know about electricity, dude?

Nothing! There's no need.

Those dudes don't do nothing!

Once you have a job there,

you have a steady paycheck for the rest of your life!

They can't fire you!

Plus, you get housing credit,

health insurance, and you retire with shit loads of money!

Do you really won't work your ass off?

Nah! They'll have you at a desk, playing dumb all day.

Get the 20 grand,

I'll call my uncle, and the job is yours!

I can't stand the fucking rhoids!

There are times I cry when I'm on the crapper.

So now you're going to say the bus is to blame.

We all know Piedra loves to fuck you in the ass.

Just blow him instead.

Cut it or you're off.

-I'm fucking shaking! -I warned you!

Quit your whining and share some.

-Hey, give it back! -Fuck you, let's go, Moloteco!

Fuck, man! Give it back!

-Hey! -Wait...

-What's up? -Come here.

-What is it? -I just wanted to chat with you.

-Right now? -Yeah.

Wanna go to the church garden?

Girl, stay away from that good-for-nothing. Ugh, so ugly!

Look, Sugheili, I'll see you later, OK?

Take these.

I'll find you.

Give me a kiss.

On the cheek!

Check your Whats!

I have no data!

Wait, wait. There are two of us.

Remember this is for those who are most in need.

Those who lost their homes, their jobs.

-Yeah, yeah. -Please!

Hi, yes.

-Did she leave lipstick on me? -Yeah.

I don't care what you have to do!

-But... what do I do? -Come, come!

What do I know, stupid bitch!

-I don't have it, I swear! -The gun.

-Bullshit! -Take it! Hide it!

I don't have it! I've never taken it from you!

I swear it, Baturro!

What the fuck are you doing here? Fuck off!

What happened, Mom?

Nothing, my son.

Baturro says I hid his photo

of that woman, Olga Breeskin.

And you didn't?

Why would I do it for?

Fucking Baturro, he just likes imagining things.

Come on in, my son.

I'll wait for your sister,

she went to get some quesadillas.

-Come on in. -OK, Mom.

Damn, man!

I nearly shit myself when I saw Baturro.

I thought he had noticed.

Give it back!

You're reading that damned book again?

I bet you know it by heart.

You should do something useful instead.

Or at least watch your stash of movies.

At least I can read.

"At least I can read." Speak like a man!

That's why they call you a fag!

I don't give a damn about what your stupid friends say.

You don't give a shit?

So you don't care if I call you Tamal Lady?

Because you give a shit.

Stand up for yourself, fucking Tamal Lady!

Bring me a champurrado.

Hey, Tamal Lady, can I have two tamales ?

Give me my fucking tamal ! Where the fuck is it?

What happened?

Some junkie grabbed Güily in the alley!

Did you see his face?

Did you see his face?

Answer!

I think it was Zaid.

The guy from Santa Cruz.

-Why didn't you defend yourself? -Motherfucker.

I was carrying the quesadillas.

-Come on, dude. -Let's go!

-For real, man. -I thought you didn't know that word!

Zaid, get up, asshole!

What the fuck, Cagalera? Are you here to pay me back?

I said, get up, asshole!

Come on, you're crazy!

What's wrong with you?

What the fuck is wrong with you, dude?

Do you think you can just come here and finger our women?

Easy, dude! I didn't do anything!

If you want to finger some woman up, then stick it up your mother's ass!

Wait, Cagalera, what did I do?

You wanted to fuck my sister, fucker!

What the fuck?