Beneath the Fold

The thunderous boom, heard by many just 22 minutes ago,

was in fact a building collapse on Beechwood Boulevard.

Debris scattered all over the street,

at least a block in each direction.

First responders are working to find out if anyone was hurt,

although the building appears to have been abandoned.

The five-story structure was formerly the site of three apartments

which sat above the now-shuttered Holy Cannoli Bake Shop.

Beaverton resident Brooke Harrison was on the street nearby

when she heard what she described as a scratching sound

followed by a hiss and a burst.

I'm not here.

Me neither, I don't want that "no overtime" slap on the wrist.

You not here for your enterprise?

Runs on Tuesday. Wanna give it one more read-through.

What are you working on? Parade shit, thruway crash, what?

Parade shit's a standalone. Thruway crash, I've been trying all day.

The state police stonewall, that is what they do.

Nobody knows or nobody cares.

Or some combination of the two.

But I wouldn't worry if I were you.

They'll get back to you in about 12 days.

Or not at all.

Or not at all. It's ridiculous.

It's like they only want to give you news when it's no longer news.

And you tell them, you say, "Look, all I need is a head count and a hospital."

And you get a "Wait for the press release."

Maybe it's two hours, or maybe it's ten hours,

or maybe it's next Tuesday and half the fucking names are misspelled.

Stanley, last time a car crashed into the river,

the cops couldn't even get the goddamn name of the river right.

Fucking clowns they all are.

And to think they make twice as much as we do.

Three times. Sometimes. I mean, come on.

You gotta wonder what the fuck that spokeswoman does all goddamn day.

It's good work if you can get it. What's yours?

- Kayaderosseras County Supervisors. - -Budget stuff?

They want to cut stuff up for seniors.

That's smart. Piss off the old people.

-Because they're the only ones who vote. -They're making it easy for me.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait, wait a minute, wait. When did you get this?

-You got this at the meeting? -We ran it as a capsule on Wednesday.

-I'm fleshing it out for tomorrow. -Well, why not run it on Sunday?

Well, Curt wanted to hold it for Monday so it'd get better play.

Mm, Monday, The K. Stanley Nichols edition.

I should get commission.

- Well, how about just get paid, period? -I'd love to.

How many A-1 stories do you got tomorrow?

Four. No, wait. Three.

One got pushed aside because of the thruway crash.

Mm. Mm-hmm. What's on B-1?

B-1's all parade shit. Parade shit and politics.

Okay, so where's Supper for Seniors going?

Bottom of B-1, I think.

-Below the fold. -That's what the desk is doing.

Okay, so you're ta-- All right.

They want to cut a program that gives free food for old people,

broke retirees, life savings in the coffee can.

I mean, what the fu-- We're in the middle of a recession.

Though it feels like a fucking depression.

The financial crisis has to be the most important story of the next two or three years.

Hell, maybe even the fucking decade.

And this here's a sidebar to that.

So you're saying you want to swap?

-Where's Blake? -Blake's at the lake. I'm by myself today.

-Okay, well, call him. -I already did.

Left a message about the thruway crash

because a tipster told me the truck blew up.

Oh, and a guy died.

Okay. Anything unusual about that?

-No. -Well, then why the fuck is it A-1?

We got good art this time.

"Trucker dies in fiery crash."

Only have that headline about twice a week.

Everybody on the way home got held up.

You got a source for the senior story?

Got a senior in second graph.

"How am I gonna-- How am I supposed to eat?"

-Something like that? -He worries about how he's going to eat, yeah.

You got Robert McMurry?

Called him on a cell. Got a couple quotes.

"We're not eliminating, we're simply reassessing."

-Blabbity blah, blah, blah. -Exactly.

- "Nothing's off the table yet. " -Correct.

- Hey. - Hmm?

Nothing's off the table?

That is not a bad pun for your lead.

Okay, so you got a senior for the senior story,

and you got Bob McMurry, and that's the bottom of B-1.

Yeah. And the art is priceless.

I'm calling Curt. Get the okay.

Well, no, wait a minute. We're not here.

- I'm calling him with my cell. -What about copy?

I don't give a fucking shit about copy. They're useless.

Once they've laid the fucking pages out, they're too lazy to do a swap.

-I think they can hear you. -I don't give a damn if they do.

Most of them spend half the fucking day on Facebook or surfing the web

while the rest of us are busy working.

I've seen you on Facebook.

Okay, but when I do it, I am searching for the families of dead people.

There is a difference.

Look, right now, we got a B-1 story that needs A-1 play.

- I hear you. I agree. - I mean, bottom a local?

- Curt wanted a piece on the pipeline.

News. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Thank you.

- Who was that? - Tinfoil hat. Look, I'll tell you what.

I'll put the senior story up on the website, set the priority to Z,

so it'll be at the top of the website all night.

Okay, old people don't want to read a website, okay?

Old people want to read the paper on paper.

That is why they call it the paper.

-Besides, they're already in bed. -Yeah, you're right.

Morning ain't the same without a newspaper and a cup of coffee.

News.

Sorry for your loss. I'll send you the obits. Hang on.

You know what? You should call Curt.

- Blake won't pick up, we go higher up.

I'm not here.

You're doing a split to balance your hours.

The follow-up on A-1?

Fu-- fucking parade.

I know. Who cares? But, like, it's--

Uh, sorry.

What? Who cares?

- Fucking parade. - -Wha-- what the fuck are you talking about?

- I mean, it's a parade. - Meaning what?

I mean, come on.

2,000 people at a parade, and you're saying "Who gives a shit?"

Any time you got that many people in one place, that's a story.

Look, I'm just saying the parade's taking up all the space

in the center of A-1

when a guy died on the thruway today.

Someone dies on the thruway every day.

Look, no one's saying you have to like the parade,

just that it's a centerpiece handed to us on a silver platter.

But don't go saying "Who cares?"

Just be happy I'm the only one who heard you say that.

All right, so what? You're just gonna let this story get buried?

- Look, I'll be up to 40 hours by Wednesday. - -So?

So you won't get asked why, but I will.

Yeah. Right.

I've been here long enough to know how to hide my overtime.

So I don't get caught and I don't get paid.

So why don't you call him? - It's your story.

You're the one who wants to swap so badly.

Mm.

Curt and I...

Do we have any coffee brewing? I'm-- I could use a cup.

Got this from Stewart's.

Newsroom.

I-- I'll send you to circulation, hang on.

There's no one in circulation at this hour.

I know. No one in obits either.

You sure there's no coffee left?

Where you been, Carrie? The coffee's gone.

- You gotta be kidding me. -Mm.

Finished the final batch on Friday.

No more freebies.

These fuckers. Are you fucking serious?

What's next? Write on napkins?

It's like, "Oh, hey, guys. No more notepads. Just use toilet paper."

-This place. This fucking place. -I know.

I swear. I'm giving Curt a call.

Wait, wait, wait. Wait, Curt wants the water line.

He'll know I'm doing overtime.

Well, does he know you got Bob McMurry?

Does he know you've got a senior for the senior story and you've got good art?

Well, the art, it's good art. I'm not sure it's A-1 art.

Okay. You said it was a good picture. You told me it was priceless.

It's a funny photo. I'm not sure it belongs on the center of the page.

It's funny?

What does funny have to do with it?

We're not selling jokes. We're selling fear.

The only thing funny about this job is the paycheck.

Hey, a picture's worth a thousand words.

If a photo's worth a thousand words,

we wouldn't need to have any words.

Okay, but Curt said he wanted the water so he could do the--

What Curt says on Saturday don't mean shit come Sunday.

I mean, water's good. Water's important.

But this could be important, too.

What about copy?

Ever notice the right thing to do

always makes more work for someone else?

- No. - -Yeah, neither did they.

I'm calling him.

Hey, what are you doing after this?

Want to go across the street and quiet the demons?

How much does it cost for a cold one?

Like, four or five?

- Five-ish. - They got some free pretzels?

Yeah, hey, this is Carrie. I'm looking for Curt.

Well, where is he?

Why would he leave his cell phone at home

if he's going to be at the marina?

What if the Monroe Power Plant burns down

or what if an airplane crashes into an orphanage?