High Plains Drifter

Yah! Let's go, buster.

Beer.

And a bottle.

Ain't much good.

It's all there is.

Will you want anything else?

Just a peaceful hour to drink it in.

Flea-bitten range bums don't usually stop in lago.

Life here's a little too quick for them.

Maybe you think you're fast enough to keep up with us, huh?

A lot faster than you'll ever live to be.

Yes, sir?

Shave and a hot bath?

That'll be 90 cents.

Cash.

Well, what I mean to say is that the 90 cents usually comes first.

But, hell, it don't really matter.

Before or after, what's the diff?

Sir.

Eau de lilac's only 10 cents more.

Lilac water. Oh, the ladies love it.

Shall we make it an even dollar? Hmm. No.

Yes.

Moses.

Right you are, gentlemen.

Be right with you. Just have a chair.

What, you don't like our company?

What's the matter with you?

I'm speaking to you, pig shit.

I think he's got some of that pig shit in his ear.

I don't know which smells worse, him or the shit in the bottle.

What did you say your name was again?

I didn't.

No. I guess you didn't at that, did you?

Why don't you watch where you're going?

Look at this. It's ruined.

There's no need for all that.

All what?

If you want to get acquainted, why don't you just say so?

Acquainted?

Why, you'd be amusing if you weren't so pathetic.

Just a minute. I'm not finished with you yet.

You know, at a distance, you'd almost pass for a man.

But you're certainly a disappointment up close, aren't you?

To your feet, ma'am. They're almost as big as your mouth.

You know what you are? Hmm?

Just trash.

A bottle of whiskey for courage and the manners of a goat.

You're the one who could use a lesson in manners.

Not from you, whiskey breath.

Let go of me!

Let go!

Let go of me!

Let go of me, you! Put me down!

Help me!

What are you doing?

What are you doing? What are you doing?

My horse.

A room.

Would you like to register, please, sir?

Somebody, please help me.

Damn you all to hell.

Good morning. Sleep well? Yeah.

Say, are you planning to stay,

keep your room another night?

I'll let you know.

All right, anything you say.

Morning.

I've still got a bath coming.

Nice hot bath coming right up. Yes, sir.

Mordecai, you put some more hot water in that tub there.

This gentleman wants a bath.

You can hang your clothes right down there on the peg.

Now, Miss Peekins does a nice... Oh, I'm sorry.

Right this way, Captain, sir.

Unless you want Mordecai to take them out

and get them laundered while you're soaking.

Miss Peekins does a right clean boiled wash.

Uses lye for pants rabbits, she does. No itch, no scratch.

Well, pour the water, Mordecai, before it gets cold.

We want the gentleman to be comfortable.

Well, I've been wanting to talk to you.

I might as well get this stool here

and set right down and do it, right?

If that's all right with you, huh?

Well, what's it about is Billy Borders.

Don't know the man.

Well, you missed your chance, 'cause you shot him yesterday.

Him and lke Sharp and Fred Morris.

You know, those are just the names, in case you're interested.

Well, I'm not really interested, Sheriff.

Well, I can't say I blame you, you know.

Billy, he wasn't a loved man, no.

And he didn't have much personality.

What he did have was all bad, just bad.

What you're trying to say is there's no charge, right?

Uh...

Well, forgive and forget, you know.

That's our motto.

You dirty bastard!

I'll kill you!

Damn it, Callie!

Callie, damn it!

Let go of me, you fat lug!

Stop... Ouch!

Tell him I'd appreciate it

if he doesn't leave town until I talk to him.

Goddamn it!

I'll kill you!

I wonder what took her so long to get mad.

Because maybe you didn't go back for more.

It don't seem to me that we got a choice.

Seeing we got no time to send for help,

and further seeing that our sheriff's

about as much use as tits on a boar.

Sorry I'm late. Anything happen?

No, no, His Honor's had the floor.

In case you haven't heard it yet,

Stacey Bridges and the Carlin brothers are due to get out of jail today.

They coming here?

That's been their plan, according to all reports.

There's no reason to believe they've changed it.

Possibly they've repented their ways.

Preacher, they're gonna burn this town to the ground and you know it.

What we're talking about now is a way to stop them.

We gotta find that way now and quick.

Nevertheless, my conscience will not allow me to be a party

to the hiring of a professional gunfighter.

Well, maybe you'd like to go out there and stand them off yourself, Preacher.

I'm just a simple man of God.

Well, it's time we unsimplified you, Reverend.

Now, Borders, Morris and Short were professional gunfighters

on the payroll of the lago Mining Company

to protect our interests and the interests of this town,

which are identical.

They stood around drinking beer and looking snotty for a full year.

And then one day before we actually needed the bastards,

they managed to get themselves killed.

So if you've got a suggestion,

we'd be delighted to hear it.

Otherwise, take your conscience elsewhere while we think about saving your ass.

Land's sakes. Where's time gone to, huh?

Miss Peekins' eldest is feeling poorly. I promised I'd...

Will you gentlemen excuse me?

Well, we were talking about hiring a gunfighter.

Yeah, we don't know anything about that fellow there.

Well, we know he took the best we could find to hire,

like Grant took Vicksburg.

Yeah, with a hidden gun in his lap.

Three for three. One right between the eyes.

Goddamndest shooting I ever even heard of.

I still say we're asking for trouble!

A fellow like that, what do we know about him?

Who is he? Where does he come from?

Well, you've got our permission to go and ask him.

Although, the last three that tried that didn't fare all that well.

Let me out!

Put me down, you bastard! Let go of me, you fat lug!

Get the hell off me! Let go of me!

You fat pig!

Hey, come here. What is this?

I was just down there sounding out that stranger,

when she come in there blasting away like a Cheyenne!

All right, Sam. All right.

You're planning to let him get away with this, aren't you?

Be a little patient, will you? Patient?

Callie, when you run across a man who's used to having his own way,

you let him have it until he goes too far.

Just what do you consider going too far?

I mean, isn't forcible rape in broad daylight a misdemeanor in this town?

There's too much at stake to throw away on hysterics now.

Hysterics?

Well, I can remember some hysterics one night not too long ago.

Callie, keep your mouth shut!

Morgan, get her out of here.

I'll see you later.

Yeah.

Not while that squinty-eyed son of a bitch

is still breathing, you won't!

You wonder if there's a man left in this town!

I mean, one honest-to-God man with a full set of balls!

Well...

Why not?

'Cause I'm not a gunfighter.

Oh, now, don't get fact mixed up with stupid. You...

Besides, I have nothing against these men.

Who did you say they are?

Well, Stacey Bridges and his cousins, the Carlin boys,

they worked for the company. They...

You know, what you call troubleshooters.

You know, just like those three you done in yesterday,

except when they was here before, there was lots of trouble.

And they took care of it, too.

Except, well, they got too damn big for their britches.

Started pushing people around, and taking over the town and we had to...

Had to what?

Well, we had to take them into custody, that's what.

Yeah. I clapped the old bracelets on them myself.

Hey, you won't be wanting that slab of pie, will you?

You know what happened, friend,