Kevin Can Wait

So, what's the story, kids? You buying the place,

or am I letting Alviti turn it into a parking lot?

We're having a bit of trouble

coming up with the whole down payment.

How short are you?

The whole down payment.

The guy's putting pressure on me.

I gotta give him a decision by the end of the week.

Oh, who are we kidding? We can't buy this place.

Or can you?

No, we can't.

Chale, in this country, when someone dramatically says,

“Or can you?” that's a good thing.

Kids, I have completely drained my 401.

I'm going to invest in your dream.

- Wait. What? - What?!

- Uncle Kyle! - Uh!

- That's unbe... - There is a string attached.

When the new place opens, I want a beer named after me.

- Oh, good call. - Yeah.

I want the Kyle Gable name to live on.

It'll be my legacy, you know.

Kind of like Sam Adams.

You do realize that Sam Adams was famous

before he had a beer named after him, right?

Yeah, but it doesn't matter. I just know him for the beer.

- Okay, well... - Yeah.

- Of course. - Of course we can. Yeah! Yeah!

- You got a check from me! - Oh, my gosh!

This is so amazing. We were just...

- The numbers, and we just... - Hmm.

Um, this is for $6,000.

You told us that you had over $100,000 in your 401.

Yeah. Mistakes were made.

Um...

Most recently, I got into the Bitcoin market.

Bought a bunch.

Turns out they were just old subway tokens.

- What's goin' on, boys? - Hey, hey, hey!

Eh, we're just talkin' about Enzo's being turned to dust.

Oh, yeah.

Lotta memories here.

I met Cindy at the end of the bar.

I was wiping crumbs off my shirt.

She thought I was trying to dance with her.

To this day, she still thinks this is an actual dance move.

Yeah, and it was right over there where I became a champion.

Still get chills.

- Oh, yeah. - Champion?

Yeah. Back in the day, Enzo's had a Whack-a-Mole,

and I was the champion from 1989 to '92.

Really?

Yes, really.

- You got this. - Yeah, I do.

Get it.

Get it. Get it.

Get it. Get it. Get it.

Get some. Get some. Get it. Get it.

Oh, hey, get it. Get it. Get it.

Get some more. Get it.

Get some more. Get more. Get it. Get it.

Get it. Get some. Get some more.

Oh, God.

Get some more. Get it. Get some more.

Get some more. Get it. Get some more. There you go.

Yeah!

Ha!

- Whoo! - Waaa!

Man, those were some good times.

I remember the first time I came here.

Crazy story.

- Uh, Diet Coke, please. - You got it.

That's it? That... That's the whole story?

I've only been here a few times.

That was the best out of three.

You know, another great memory here was that time

I-I surprised you guys with that check for $80,000.

Remember that one? No.

No, I don't remember that.

That's right.

'Cause it's happening now!

Ba-boom!

- What?! - What?!

- Yes! - Dad, what... How did you do this?

No. I took out a second mortgage on the house.

What?! $80,000?

This... That's more than enough for the down payment!

That's right. We're gonna buy Enzo's, is what we're doing.

Wait. Now, Dad, are you sure?

This is a lot of money.

I've never been more sure

about anything in my life, all right?

Dad, thank you! I love you!

This is...

You know, it seems like he's got things covered,

so it's probably best if if I get my check back,

'cause that thing's gonna bounce like a basketball.

We do that twice a week.

Twice. That would be...

- Hey! - Hey!

Come on! We have to go to work!

Yeah. I just got to grab my wallet upstairs, all right?

Right now, I'm just kickin' around ideas for the new Enzo's.

And now, are we clear on what I want?

I guess so, but you do understand Whack-a-Mole

- is a kids' game, right? - No, no, no.

It's all about hand-eye coordination

and... and... and mental recognition.

He's right. NASA use it

for their astronauts to work on their cognitive abilities

before they embark on a mission.

- Oh. - Seriously?

No. It's a children's game wherein they're taught

to bash adorable things with a mallet.

Okay, look. I knew this was gonna happen.

I knew once you bought the bar,

you would lose focus on your real job.

I can multitask, okay?

Dad, we really appreciate your help,

but Chale and I kinda know what we wanna do with it.

Yes, we were thinking of modernizing the place,

maybe some signature coffee.

Ugh! You gotta listen.

Enzo's has a certain charm.

We wanna keep that charm.

And you wanna do that with Whack-a-Mole?

For starters, yeah, I do, okay?

And I got a whole bunch of ideas running around in my head.

- So, here... - Okay, well, those are so amazing.

Why don't you go grab your stuff,

and we will go over the details, okay?

- F... That's all right. Perfect. - Yes.

I'm very happy about it. This is gonna be good, guys?

- Very happy. Very happy. - Okay, yes!

- Whoo! All right! - Yeah, team!

He's out of control. He's never gonna stop.

I thought he was supposed to be a silent partner.

That was non-silent.

Look, your dad is stubborn, okay?

You want him to do something,

you have to make it seem like it was his idea.

So “your” plans are “his” plans.

Sounds incredibly naive and childish.

Really?

'Cause he's a grown man who wants to put a Whack-a-Mole

in your restaurant.

It could work.

Hey, Dad. Got a minute?

We were thinking about your ideas for Enzo's,

and they're actually pretty great.

Oh, well, I got another one to add to the excitement.

I was watching “Urban Cowboy.”

Two words... mechanical bull.

Chin-don! Right?

Mechanical bull?

Might be some liability issues,

what with all of the broken necks.

Nah. No, you'll be fine. You just throw a mat down.

Between that and the peanut shells, you... you...

We'll work it out. It'll be good.

Well, let's put a pin in the bull idea.

Because we wanna get back

to that other great idea that you had.

What other one?

Yeah, remember you were talking about how you wanted

to turn Enzo's into a brew pub?

Yes! You were saying something about expanding the menu

and trying new things with the pizza crusts.

- I said that? - Oh, yes.

Oh, it was very exciting.

You were also talking about doing wonderful new things

with all of the coffees and the dessert menu.

Oh, and my absolute favorite of your ideas

was craft beers from around the world.

C-Craft beers?

Oh, yes. You're brilliant.

Okay.

Here's how I know that's not true.

I don't even know what craft beers are.

The only “craft” I do know is macaroni and cheese.

So I hate to break it to you, but I never said it.

Actually, sir, you said that you thought it was...

Never said it, Chale!

What's going on here?

All right, Dad.

The truth is, you know, we have our own ideas for Enzo's.

And we really do appreciate

you helping us out with the down payment.

We really do, Mr. Gable. Thank you.

But we kinda thought you were just gonna be an investor.

You know, like a silent partner.

What, just fork over my 80 grand

and then shut my pie hole?

We were hoping so, yes.

Well, ya... ya hoped wrong.

Look, Dad, we know what we're doing, okay?

- We did market research. - Oh, market research?

Let me tell you all the market research you need.

What has ten fingers and loves pizza?

This guy!