Bridge and Tunnel

Is this true about Jill?

Because I was under the understanding

that that was over again.

Jill? Hey, it's me. I'm here.

You can wait down here if you want,

or you can join me.

Well, if you're giving me the option.

You know what they call me? Bridge and Tunnel.

They're like, "Oh, hey, Bridge and Tunnel,

go get some coffee from the store."

You really want to go through life sounding like

one of those "dese," "dose," and "dem" girls?

You mean like you?

I don't even hear a fuckin' accent.

Yeah, neither do I.

I guess it leaves the door wide open for you, though, Tammy.

What? No... Why would you say that?

He's my ex, okay?

Even if I can't have him,

you can't go anywhere near him, Tammy, please.

You wanna have some fun? And that's my cue.

What, do you got a problem with Tammy now?

No.

Those two just can't get enough of each other, huh?

Yeah, they're just so cute, huh?

I don't wanna be beholden to anyone, not even you.

You want to get back together for three weeks,

knowing we're gonna fuckin' break up when I leave?

You want me to wait here for you?

You wanna tie me down?

You don't want any of that freedom for me,

and that's not fair!

Lemme hit that.

- Hey, can I ask you a question? - Yeah.

How come you think we could never make it work as a couple, hm?

What are you talking about, Mikey, huh?

We were the perfect couple.

Why do you think we're able to hook up like this?

'Cause we both had realistic expectations.

Neither of us wanted anything from the other,

and that's why we were perfect for each other.

What, so we had a great relationship

because we didn't really have a relationship?

- Is that it? - Exactly.

That some fucked up logic, Stacey.

You know that?

I guess I'm fucked up.

No, don't give me that.

You've always liked to play the role of the wild child.

- You always have. - So deep down,

I'm just a romantic little sap, is that it?

I wouldn't go that far, but I'm just saying, you know, if...

Maybe if you just found the right guy, who knows?

Right. So when I meet the right guy,

my knight in shining armor... You know, not you...

I'll finally get my act together?

Is that what you're saying to me?

No, I didn't mean it like that.

Well, good.

Hello?

Oh, hey, Wayne.

- Wayne? - Yeah, not much.

I'm just smoking a J, watching TV.

What about you?

- Who the fuck is Wayne, huh? - My boyfriend.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

Yeah, no.

I'm just having dinner with my pops tonight.

Mm-hmm.

Uh-huh.

Tomorrow?

No, no, I think I'm gonna stay a few more days, um,

but I'll give you a call, okay?

So... yeah.

All right. Bye.

Oh.

Jimbo!

Hey, kid, you're not gonna believe

this guy's photography collection.

He's got some beautiful prints in there.

Oh. What the hell's goin' on

with you this morning, anyhow? Why so quiet?

Is anybody really talkative at this hour?

That is just a choice, my man.

You can choose to be cranky, or you can choose to be cheery.

Personally, I choose to be cheery.

- Is being quiet a choice? - Yes, it is.

In the same way that being a dick to your old man is.

- Dad, I'm sorry. - And now you can carry

- the ladder by yourself and all the other shit... - I'm not fully awake right now.

- I'll take care of the beer. I'll see you in there.

Can we just not talk for a little while? I haven't even finished my coffee.

Ah, shit.

I'm not gonna hear the end of this shit.

And another thing, everybody gets their heart broken at some point.

It's all a matter of how you deal with it.

Another choice.

Some people choose to throw themselves into their work...

Didn't we just agree to be quiet?

Oh, really, you're gonna give me some lip now?

You got a day ahead of you. To the left, please.

Hey, you.

- Ah! You look so handsome. - Yes.

- What, you got another interview today? - Yeah,

and this one's with a real big firm.

- Ooh. - Yeah. To be honest though,

I'm... I'm starting to think I don't want one of these jobs

- even if I get it. - What?

- Yeah. - Why would you ever say that?

Well, because, you know,

every time I go on these interviews

and I walk through these offices,

you just... you see all those people

just sitting at their desks,

day after day, year after year, counting numbers.

I mean, Jesus, it just... it seems like

a death sentence, you know?

Can ask you something?

And you got to promise to not get mad at me, please.

Yeah.

Why the hell did you ever decide to major in accounting?

I didn't, really.

I'm just... I'm pretty good at math,

and I didn't know what to major in,

so my advisor was like,

"Hey, accounting would be a good fit."

So that's what I did.

But you have no passion for it.

Passion? Are you... Are you fuckin' kidding me?

I have no interest in it.

Forget about passion.

But hey, look, you gotta make a living, right?

I don't know, you were just always

such a great artist in high school.

You know? Remember? Like, why didn't you pick

to study painting or drawing or something like that?

And what would I do with that degree?

I don't know, Mikey,

something you might actually enjoy, huh?

Like work in advertising

or something in the arts.

Yeah, right.

You know what my father would have said

if I tried to tell him that's what I went to college for?

He'd be like...

- Yeah.. - Yeah.

Look, I'm not like you

or Pags or Jimmy, all right?

I mean, you've always known you wanted to go

to business school.

Pags, he... he wants to be a lawyer.

Jimmy, he's got his photography.

Me? I don't know.

It's like...

I've got nothing I'm dying to do.

So did you see Seaver last night?

Seven strikeouts, but I swear to Christ,

it breaks my heart to see him in that Cincinnati uniform.

I don't know why you're still a Met fan, dad.

After that trade?

You should have jumped ship like I did.

Oh, you want me to root for the Yankees?

Over my dead body.

Yeah, well, then, get used to losing

'cause I was all the Mets are gonna be good at.

Hey, why so negative? It's still only early June.

Yeah, and they're already 11 games back.

Hey, you mark my words. Before the season is out,

they will make a run just like we did in '69 and '73.

Yeah, you say the same thing every year,

and every year it's the same.

They stink.

I don't understand how you're always so optimistic.

Again, my man, it's all about choices.

I could piss and moan about a lot of things.

My customers, the mortgage, the fact that your sister

wants to be a rock star, but where that does that get me?

And, more importantly, where does that get you,

having to listen to all my negative bullshit?

All right, so just like

being cheery in the morning... Optimism is a choice.

Remember that, Jimmy.

So what you're saying is, I should keep

a positive attitude about things, right?

Exactly.

- Like Jill, for example. - Oh, jeez.

Now why would you have to do that?

Why would you have to bring her into the conversation?

I wasn't talking about Jill. I swear to you, Jimmy.

You are absolutely hopeless, you know that?

- I'm a born romantic, Dad. Get used to it.

- Mm. - But now, I know how to

get you to shut up in the morning.

Just talk about Jill.

I'm gonna hit the head.

Very funny, young man.

Hey, but do me a favor.

When you go through there, make sure you take a look

at some of this guy's prints.

Whoa, Dad, you were right.