Dark Days

When I first came down into the tunnel, it looked dangerous, man.

It was lookin' real dangerous, 'cause even in the daytime it was dark.

And, like, I was scared.

I said, "Somewhere down the line, it can't be bad as it is up top."

Because out in the street, you had kids fuckin' with you.

You had the police fuckin' with you.

I mean, anybody can walk by you while you're sleeping on a bench and bust you in the head.

At least down in the tunnel, you ain't gotta worry about that.

'Cause ain't nobody in their right mind gonna come down there.

So you ain't got to worry about nobody comin' down there messin' with you.

'Cause they're not.

They gonna be too scared to come in there.

But to me, once you get past your fears, the first or second night...

See, after that, man, you adjust.

You'd be surprised what the human mind and the human body can adjust to.

Tommy. What?

Damn, man, I'm tired.

I'm tired, yo.

Give out.

Mmm.

I could sleep for about two or three...

I guess about two or three more hours.

I don't feel like getting up.

Mmm.

Shit. It's fuckin' late. Or early.

I gotta take a fuckin' piss. Good morning, people.

Good morning, yeah.

Do me a favor, man.

Bring you back an empty bottle?

No. Take it out for me.

Sure.

It's fucking cold, man. It is.

It probably just feels cold. It's probably like yesterday.

Shit.

I'll get up. I'm ready.

Ready to hit the street.

When I first came down, I was scared to death, man.

- - Scared that... Not scared. Just lookin' at this goddamn place and shit.

I said, "Damn."

At that time, the only reason I came down here... just to get out of the public eyesight.

But as I looked around and shit and started noticing shit,

I started building and shit, man.

And that shit just became into like a little project.

At first, I took it as a little camp for two weeks.

And then this fucker became like home.

After, I start building.

Found, you know, stuff that I can use... clothes, TVs, lamps.

Got power.

That camping shit, it went right away.

Left right out my goddamn mind and shit.

You know what I'm sayin'? And look at me now.

I been down here for fuckin' five years, goin' on six.

Who knows it's been that long, you know? It's been that fuckin' long.

I just forgot completely about the damn time.

I see the place looks a little cleaner.

Yeah, but, you know, it's the fuckin' dog, man.

Ever since I got that dog, the fuckin' place been fucked up, man.

What you mean it looks a little cleaner? It looks terrible.

I was just being sarcastic.

I can see the dog chews everything up and shit.

Yeah, man.

It's hard to keep a place clean with a dog. Mm-hmm.

Especially out here. He drags everything in. Was it clean before?

Yeah, it was always... It used to be real nice and clean. Yeah, it was.

He used to make us take off our shoes.

Almost every time I came in, he had a different rug on.

Yup. Every couple of days, he'd put on another rug, another rug.

The place was really nice, you know.

And he was always working on the house. Yeah.

Like what?

Fixing the door. Always the door. If not the inside door, the outside door.

Working on the roof.

Making the trapdoor to get out and escape, to come in.

Putting a window in. Then he take the window out.

You know? All kinds of stuff. He even had a ladder in here.

Oh, the ladder, yeah. Used to be in this corner. Yeah, I took it out.

It used to go straight up to the roof.

And he was putting a balcony up there. Then he changed his mind.

He's the only one that I ever see working on their house.

Everybody else like they's just...

No, they got some nice houses here, bro.

Yeah, but I've seen 'em. They did their house,

but then they never did anything else to it.

Whenever I used to come down here, I'd always see him working on his house.

I thought I had the nicest house down here. Yeah.

But I don't, bro. Well, it don't look nice now. Yeah.

But I don't have the nicest house.

You know who got the nicest house down here?

Tom. Tommy. Tommy? Yeah.

Tommy's got the nicest house. But he's been down here a long time, shit, though.

No. Tommy's been down here about maybe a year longer than I have.

A lot of my friends, you know, a lot of my fellas come down here.

Like, my boy came down last night to visit me. Yeah.

He brought one of his boys from school down here.

Ain't never been down here. The kid like to shit on himself...

when he came in and saw the place and shit.

Hey, that ain't no help to you.

Well, you feel good about it, I guess, you know.

You think you're livin' outside, and it ain't as outside as you think.

Make you feel a little better, yeah. Oh, yeah.

You ain't much tramp as he thought he was when he walkin' down the track.

That's exactly... That always make you feel good.

I don't consider myself homeless, 'cause a homeless man ain't got a home.

If you don't consider yourself homeless, then you ain't ready to cope with this then.

If you don't consider you homeless.

Well, I mean, I do. It's, like, in the back of my mind.

It's way back in the back of your mind if you don't consider you homeless.

You know that? You got it a little too far in the back of your mind.

But what's the purpose... What was the purpose of me building this place, right?

It's not to be helpless. That don't say you ain't homeless.

This stop you from being helpless. Oh, yeah.

But if you consider you ain't homeless once you get down here,

you're not doin' but throwin' brakes on your life.

Shit. I got real comfortable down here in this fuckin' dump and shit, man.

Let's face it, man. I mean, like, down here, didn't have to pay no bills, no nothin'.

Look at me. I'm shavin' with... I'm using power right now...

and I ain't even got to pay the motherfuckin' bills and shit.

I mean, that's part of comfortability and shit. You know what I'm sayin'?

Turn the TV on, leave the TV on all night.

Ain't gotta worry about paying Con Ed. You know?

That's fucked up, but that's one reason how I got so comfortable and shit. You know?

In the winter time, I don't freeze.

Summer time, I don't burn up.

You know? All they don't got down here is running water.

And we did have that down here, believe it or not, at one time.

We had running water.

Of course I got fuckin' comfortable, man. Got too goddamn comfortable.

That's why I'm really pissed off at myself, man.

'Cause I, like, lost five, six years of my motherfuckin' life being down in this motherfucker.

Man, I'm gettin' ready to go out and make me some money.

I got to get paid.

Got to make that almighty dollar.

So, what's happenin'?

How you go about doin' that?

I got to do my normal, man.

I got to go out, try to find me something to sell.

First I got to find out what I got here from last night.

I got these off of 75th Street.

CDs. You know what I'm sayin'?

I can sell these to my man on 82nd Street.

And these some good CDs. Plus I got a couple of books.

You know? Hey, I'm gonna get paid, brother.

You know how us homeless guys do it.

We got to make a dollar.

This my motherfuckin' van here.

That's right. That's my van.

That's right. That's a bad motherfucker too.

Four-wheel drive. That's right.

This is my motherfuckin' station wagon. That's right.

If you notice, they the biggest ones, and there go they motherfuckin' kids.

That's right. Eeny, meeny and fuckin' miney.

You understand what I'm sayin'? And the reason why I'm saying this,

because each one of them fuckin' carts contain something.

And what's that something? Money.

That's like they say... mo' money, mo' money, mo' money, mo' money...

and mo' motherfuckin' money.

You know what I'm sayin'?

Free enterprises.

What peoples throw away, other peoples can use.

And by them can use it, I get paid for it because I find it.

And half of the time, they be in perfect working condition.

You know? Be just like new. You know?

But down here, man... You be surprised the stuff that I be findin'...

and I be sellin', getting top dollar for, you know?

What sort of things? Like VCRs, color televisions.

Little portable televisions like this.

You know what I'm sayin'? I found that.

Heaters like this. You know what I'm sayin'?

Now, I don't sell everything. Stuff that I can use, I keep.

But stuff that I just... I can't use, I sell.

You know?

Everything you got that you paid for, I can...

Nine times out of 10, I will go out there and find it,

and it be in perfect working condition.

And I sells it. You know?

That's the name of the game... hustling.

I'm a hustler, bro. I get paid.

What are you doing?

I'm putting this sign. There's no... no crack.

Because they be knockin' on my house sometimes, and they...

and they want to borrow a stem.

And I don't smoke crack no more.

It took... You know...

It... The crack fucked me up, man.

The crack got me down here.

Well, crack helped me get down here.

And then... Now I stopped.

You know? And it took me a fuckin' long time to realize...

that that shit wasn't, you know...

That wasn't it. That wasn't me.

So I don't want 'em in my house. Because if I see it around me, every time... every time...

and I let people smoke in my house... then I'm gonna want to get the urge.

It's bad enough that sometimes...

I stopped crack already for a long time, for more than three years now.

And sometimes I wake up with the urge.

And I haven't done it for more than three years,