Critical Condition

You need an inflata-date?

No, man. I'm here on a business deal.

Do I look like I belong in a place like this?

Can't you see I don't belong here?

I can't see shit.

Oh.

Hey, I'm sorry.

Hey, I love you, brother. No sweat.

Has she got big ones or little ones?

Big. Very big.

Only...

she's not a she.

Jeez.

I need scratch and sniff on these things.

Keep scratching and sniffing.

Doing a little business with the loan shark?Don't-Don't--

Hey, blindy. I'm a legitimate businessman.

I'm here to do business with Mr. Palazzi,

real estate, if he'll finance my deal.

Laughed at you at the bank?

Yeah. There was some laughter, but that didn't bother me.

The spitting bothered me. But they didn't have dildos laying around the desk.

Lennihan! Yo!

The man will see you...now.

Yeah. That's me. I'm on. Bye.

Hey, man, look cool. Take some shades.

I don't want no shades.

Just take the smokes.

I don't want no smokes.

I'll keep the cigarettes if that'll keep you off my ass.

How do I look?

How the fuck should I know?

The best part of this whole bargain

is for $50,000 down payment,

I get the whole building, and I open my cineplex.

32 theaters, huh?

18 seats in each theater,

but that's not the good part.

Check this.

Look. Dolby sound.

I don't know anything about that.

Hey, it doesn't matter anyway.

I'll tell you what does matter.

If you manage to open this cineplex,

not that I give a shit,

I will own 75% of all the concessions

and 100% of all the vending machines.

Now, the interest on 50,000 is 100,000.

If you don't pay me 150,000 within one year,

we're going to collect your collateral.

That's why I come to you.

I'm not stupid. I didn't go to E.F. Hutton.

I don't have any collateral.

You're standing on your collateral.

My legs?

John has something for you.

John?

Now, there's a little favor we want from you.

Our business has been experiencing some, uh, setbacks recently.

Consequently, there's a lot of heat on us,

and our people are being watched closely.

So we'd appreciate it

if you would just take this package

to California for us.

S-S-Something for the little lady?

Lennihan, I got some advice for you, hmm?

Don't be a jerk-off.

Well, I am a jerk-off.

I'm certainly not a bag man.

Do I look like a bag man?

The best in the country.

Yes! I will deliver these diamonds for you.

You got no problem with that?

No. I got no problem.

I'm ju-- a little tense.

I recently quit smoking.

I'm starting again because it helps relieve the tension.

I'm so tense right now

you could open a beer bottle cap from my asshole.

I am talking tense.

What the hell's that?

He's got a fucking wire.

Wire? What--

Police! Drop them!

Nobody move!

Freeze!Don't try it!

Jeez!Aah!

Hold it! Don't move!

Don't move!

You're a cop! Not even a blind cop.

Fuck. Hey, what are you--

You set me up, Lennihan.

No. I thought he was a blind pervert!

I didn't know he was a cop.

You're fucking dead, Lennihan!

No, pal. You're the one that's dead!

They caught you with a bag full of diamonds and money!

They caught you red-handed.

Holy shit.

Can we talk?

Kevin?

You talked to the judge, right?

You explained everything's a big misunderstanding.

I'm going to take you and Julie to dinner.

Kevin, I tried everything. I didn't make a plea.

I begged for mercy.

You're going to have to do a year.

Let's go.

A year?

This is my first offense.

Couldn't you get me probation?

I'll do social work.

Hey, how about this?

I'll cook for runaway teenage girls.

I never said a word

about any of your harebrained schemes before,

not even your offshore shopping mall.

I thought that was foolproof.

I had to do it.

I needed the money for a down payment

on my cineplex.

The feds have been looking for Palazzi for years.

I should get a reward.

It was my stupidity that got him busted.

You're sick. You're really sick.

Hey, Lennihan. Wait a minute, Harris.

10 years, no parole, because of you.

I'll be in the machine shop with my associates

waiting for you.

You're dead, Lennihan.

See you in the shower.

Ha ha ha!

Watch the shoulder.

Move it. Move it.

Mr. Lennihan, please rise.

I'm asking you these questions

to make sure you understand

the consequences of your guilty plea.

Are you currently taking any medication or drugs

that might impair your judgment

in entering this guilty plea,

or are you suffering from any mental illnesses?

That's it.

What?Plead insanity.

You're not crazy, Kevin,

you're just pathologically irresponsible.

You know that, and I know that.

Mr. Lennihan, did you understand the question?

Mr. Lennihan, did you understand the question,

you piece of pig fuck?

Did you understand the question?Kevin!

Answer the question!

This man stole my money!

He wanted us to invest

in offshore supermarkets!

You think you're slick

talking to a judge like that.

He's been under a lot of stress.

You're cheating with my wife,

humping her in my car!

And you, you slut.

You can't mask this.

You got brown babies at home.

I'm looking for justice.

Bailiff.

There's justice and injustice!

Bailiff!

I'm part of the justice

because I'm not just.

Get away!

Everybody get away from him!

Order!

That's not bad.

My client seems to have had a breakdown.

This is absolutely ludicrous.

The court must show compassion in this case.

All right. I'll remand your client

over to psychiatric observation for 21 days.

But if in that time

his insanity isn't established conclusively,

he'll start serving his sentence immediately.

Now what do you see there?

Uh, my first grade teacher after I cut her throat.

Uh, she was a bitch.

That's me drinking her blood.

I put my hand in it.

Made a print on the wall.

Thank you.

I didn't think I'd ever see her again.

Do you want me to call the security guard again?

Oh, no. Please, not yet.

Mr. Lennihan.Hmm?

Mr. Lennihan!

Hmm?

Oh, please. Can I keep this card?

No. I don't think so.

Ooh, just a minute.

Just a minute.

Ooh! Heh heh!

Ahh.