Only Murders in the Building

‐ You can't disappear for 10 years,

then show up and start dragging up a bunch of shit from when we were kids!

If you see me around the building, act like you don't know me

because you don't. ‐ Happily.

‐ They're cleaning out Tim Kono's apartment tomorrow,

so we're gonna look around for clues before everything's gone.

I see you're a musician. ‐ Oh, good eye.

Is that your bassoon I hear playing through the courtyard every night?

It's lovely. I think of it as the sound of the Arconia.

‐ Well, hello there, Sting!

Winnie, don't stand so close to Sting.

She's just on edge after that upsetting death the other night.

‐ Are you suggesting I had something to do with that?

‐ No, no, no, no. I‐‐ ‐ Please, your dog.

Control him! I don't like dogs.

‐ Oh...

Winnie?

Who would do this to you?

Testing, testing.

We good?

I don't need to hear it right now.

‐ Who doesn't love a second chance?

Another shot at righting

some painful mistake that's haunted you?

Or at healing the wounds you may have inflicted.

‐ Will? - Yeah.

I got here as fast as I could. Where's Winnie?

‐ Get in, get in. Just in there. Hurry! Go!

- Just run! - Calm down. Relax! Relax!

But a second chance always comes with risk.

‐ What the fuck is GM?

You might make the same mistake again.

Or you might make a worse one.

‐ Oliver? - I'm in here!

‐ Hey, what happened? Are you okay?

‐ The killer poisoned my dog. ‐ What?

My son has her. He's a vet.

She recovered, thank God,

but clearly, we are getting close if they're sending a message to the leader.

‐ Is the leader you?

‐ Did they poison your dog?

They left this.

‐ "End the podcast or I end you."

What if Winnie had died?

It would be on me again.

And my stupid...

goddamn visionary ambitions.

‐ Okay, whoever poisoned Winnie clearly killed Tim,

- so who did this? - Gather 'round.

Look, I'm gonna record this.

I know this seems impossible, it's bananas, but...

I think there's a very strong chance that the person who poisoned Winnie

was, and‐and this gives me no pleasure

in saying this...

musical superstar Sting.

‐ The guy from U2?

‐ Are you kidding me? ‐ Sting.

‐ The Police? Roxanne? - Every Breath You Take,

only one of the biggest love songs of all time?

Who educated you?

‐ Oh, now I know. He did Sledgehammer.

‐ Ah! Peter Gabriel! ‐ That's Peter Gabriel!

‐ Guys, I know who Sting is!

And by the way, Every Breath You Take is no love song.

It's about a jealous stalker and surveillance,

and it actually seems like it was written by a...

killer. ‐ Oliver,

look, I know you would love to have a celebrity killer,

but Sting did not murder Tim Kono.

‐ Oh my God. - What?

‐ "Sting loses millions.

"Funds mismanaged by his former investment firm

Wright & Ogilvy."

That's Tim's old firm. ‐

‐ Wait a minute, wait a minute. Didn't dead cat guy

say that Tim Kono got fired because he lost

some big client's money?

‐ Tim Kono lost Sting's money.

It's always about the money!

This is exactly like Die Hard!

‐ Could it be this simple though?

Tim just got murdered by some pissed‐off client?

Oh boy!

Sting is on Ursula's list of people who were in the building

the night of Tim's murder,

and on her list of people who stayed during the fire alarm.

‐ How did you miss that?

‐ Because it was Sting!

I figured he stayed behind to write some fucking masterpiece.

‐ Guys, this is actually something.

‐ Okay, and if it is...

We have hit the mother lode.

Rock icon Sting is a dog‐poisoning murderer.

He's like the next OJ.

A hot Buddhist OJ.

‐ I will say this is our strongest suspect yet, next to tie‐dye guy.

‐ Enough with tie‐dye guy! ‐ We cannot forget about tie‐dye guy!

But if we're gonna go down this road, we need some advice.

With someone this big, you only get one shot.

We need Cinda Canning.

Uh, well,

sure. I mean, who wouldn't want

the Queen of Murder Podcasts, but how?

‐ Well, I could work my connections. I do know that we go

to the same cupcake store.

‐ I think I can do better than that.

‐ Try that again.

‐ I think I can do better than that.

‐ Okay, maybe I can cut these two together and...

then redo it.

‐ Charles, hi. ‐ Hey, Arnav, how's it going?

‐ Good. Nice to see you. It's funny. Uh, Anaya was just FaceTiming with Lucy.

She asked about you.

‐ Oh. Th‐that's nice.

So, anyway, so I have this faint memory

that you're parent friends with Cinda Canning?

Something about circus arts class Tuesday morning?

‐ Uh, yeah. That's exactly what it is.

‐ Well, you know, I'm working on this podcast...

‐ I mean, we're not that close.

‐ You know, I don't want to put you in a weird position,

but this podcast is the first thing that's

really got my juices flowing in a long time.

‐ Yeah. Sure. ‐ Hey. Really?

‐ I'm sure she'd be happy to help the next generation.

Or anyone looking to learn.

‐ Thank you.

So, um...

Lucy seems happy?

‐ She does.

‐ That's good.

Thanks again.

‐ I can't believe you got us this meeting. ‐ Yeah.

‐ Well, I did. And I think I should run it, too,

because we need this one thing to run smoothly, okay?

‐ Okay. Sure. ‐ Alright. If you think that's smart.

‐ And if we go in there yelling, "Sting is a killer,"

Cinda's gonna think we're lunatics.

‐ Oh. Hi.

‐ H‐hi. I mean, hi. I said, I said, hi. Ha!

‐ Hi. We met on another elevator.

‐ Hello. - Right.

You two do this a lot?

‐ Oh, just on the weekends.

‐ Well, you're dolled up.

Man only dresses like that when he's off to see a woman.

‐ Well, uh, yeah.

Yeah, I‐I guess I am.

‐ For a business meeting.

‐ Yes. Uh, that's correct.

And I can see you're going to be a...

a sexy bassoonist.

Based on your shirt only! Uh, not based‐‐

‐ I'm gonna stop you before you accidentally say I'm not sexy.

Please, stop me.

Someone stop me.

‐ Well, it was nice seeing you again. ‐ You, too.

Hope to hear your playing tonight like always?

‐ You'll hear me bassooner or later.

‐ Well, someone was a little flirty.

It was a lot of bassoon jokes,

but she's cute. You should ask her out. ‐ Mm‐hmm.

‐ Oh. Nah, I'm too set in my ways.

Plus someone in the building, if it doesn't work out...

- Now's not a good time, so. - Right.

You should wait. Plenty of time.

You know, 70 is the new 40.

‐ I want you to be less mean.

‐ I know you do.

‐ Hello!

Hello! Hi! Hi!

- Hi‐‐ Whoa! - Oh my God!

Hello, how are you? ‐ Thank you so much for taking the time.

We're huge fans. ‐ Oh, please. Go on.

‐ Really, you're the reason I care about murder.

And you're the reason we all met! ‐ It's true.

And the lengths that you have gone to while undercover.

‐ The time you were buried in raw sewage for eight hours?

‐ You know what it feels like to be buried up to your chest in sewage?

‐ What?

‐ Like a Peabody!

‐ Oh, that‐that's clever.

‐ Cinda won the Peabody in 2018, ha. And again in 2020.

- Yes. - Ah. Cinda,

as I know you know, I'm a director,

so I can't help‐‐ ‐ Sorry to interrupt.

The call is in, Cinda. Line two.

‐ Thank you, Cindy.

‐ There are three of them. ‐ It's a value pack.

I'm so sorry to have to take this. It's just,

uh, well, it's silly really. We just‐‐

We may or may not be

about to get bought for $30 million.

‐ What? ‐ Whoa.

‐ Take it. ‐ Hello!

‐ What will it mean to get "bought"?

She won't stop making podcasts, will she?

‐ Uh, what they're buying is her.

- Oh. Of course. - Ah...

‐ So, you want