Yes Minister

At Birmingham East,

the Returning Officer is declaring the result.

James George Hacker: 21,793.

Arthur William Gaunt: 19,321.

So Jim Hacker's back, and after many years as a Shadow Minister

seems almost certain to get a post in the new Government.

- I haven't had a call yet. - Who from?

- Our new Prime Minister. - What do you expect?

The car's only just got back from the Palace.

Any moment now, then.

So who was on the phone?

Frank Wiesel. He's coming right over.

Why doesn't he just move in?

Annie, he's my political adviser.

- I depend on him. - Why don't you marry him?

Darling, you do over- react to everything, so.

Here we are!

Jim Hacker... yes. Oh, it's you.

Yes, was a good party.

Yes, I've got a bit of a headache... I will ring you back.

I'm waiting fora rather important call... bye bye.

Alderman Spottiswood.

I wish people wouldn't ring to congratulate me.

I'm waiting forthe call.

It's as if you're about to enterthe Ministry.

Yes, but which Ministry, that's the point.

Itwas a joke!

Oh, I see.

- Are you very tense? - No, I'm not.

A politician's wife is not allowed to.

A happy carefree politician's wife.

- What are you looking for? - A cigarette.

Try the cigarette box.

- It's empty. - Take a librium.

I can't find it, that's why I'm looking fora cigarette.

Oh, Jim, I've had it. Would you pop out and get some?

Sorry, I daren't leave the phone.

If the PM wants you to be in the cabinet,

he'll phone back. Oryou can phone back.

I ran the campaign against the PM forthe leadership.

- If I'm out, well, who knows. - I could take a message.

There it is.

Hello... yes, speaking...

Oh, it's you Michael...

I haven't had a call, have you?

Bill's had a call?

What's he got? Europe?

- Bill's got Europe. - Lucky Europe.

- Does Bill speak French? - He can hardly speak English.

I'll call you back if I hear anything. Right... Bye.

Fingers crossed.

Hello... Yes, speaking...

The Gas Board.

Good Lord man, thatwas weeks ago.

I'm waiting fora rather important call...

Look, there happened to be a general election yesterday...

You voted forthe otherside, did you?

How did you get to the polling booth on the right day?

With two assistants, three return visits forspare parts?

Look, Mr. Franklin... Frankly Franklin,

I don't care if the heating system collapses in ruins.

I've got to get off this phone, goodbye.

They won't come now.

If I get ConsumerAffairs, they'll come.

Hello?

Hello? Hello?

Darling, thatwas the front doorbell.

It'll be Frank.

- Martin's got the Foreign Office. - Has he?

Jack's got Health and Fred's got Energy.

- Has anyone got Brains? - Do you mean Education?

No, I knowwhat I mean.

- What's left? What have I got? - Rhythm?

Frank, I have heard absolutely nothing,

not that it's surprising.

My whole career is going down the drain

because the PM is unable to reach me on the telephone.

You get it, darling.

- Hello. - Hello, this is the BBC.

Would Mr. Hacker like to be interviewed on the PM program?

- PM? - PM?

Jim Hackerhere...

Are you available this afternoon?

Yes. Any time you like.

Could we interview you?

I'd been hoping you'd call.

What job do you think you're likely to get?

I beg yourpardon?

What job do you think you're likely to get?

That's foryou to tell me.

- What? - Well, it's not up to me to say.

That's forthe PM to say. You're the PM's office...

Oh, I see. The BBC PM office!

How silly, what a silly mistake, Yes... yes. Good bye.

I did try and tell you.

You answerthe bloody thing.

Hello...

Mrs. Hackerspeaking.

Oh, congratulations, "Prime Minister". It's Annie here.

Give me that phone.

Hello... Yes... Prime Minister.

Yes, of course... Yes, I...

Righto.

I'll be on the next train.

Top tip forAdministrative Affairs is Jim Hacker.

Kenneth, isn't he on the young side fora Cabinet post?

Yes, well, he's in his late forties.

But it's certainly a jump up forhim.

On the otherhand, this department's been

a bit of a political graveyard recently.

A furthergroup of Cabinet appointments

has nowbeen announced from Number Ten.

The Ministry of Administrative Affairs goes toJim Hacker,

the formerShadow Minister forAgricultura.

- Good afternoon, Minister. - Good afternoon.

Bernard Wooley, Principal Private Secretary.

Mr. Lloyd Pritchard, Assistant Private Secretary.

- This is my political adviser... - Oh yes, of course, Mr. Weasel.

Wiesel.

I was the Minister's Principal Private Secretary

in the last goverment.

However if you...

- I'm sure you'll be just the thing. - Thank you, Minister, howkind.

- Where are we all going to? - You are going to youroffice.

What about Frank?

- Where's Frank? - He's being taken care of.

- Would you wait here? - This is the Waiting Room.

- Precisely, sir. - I'm Jim Hacker's adviser.

He has a whole department to advise him.

- He needs me. - Of course.

But until he sends foryou, please, wait.

A sherry Minister?

Jim.

Oh Gin.

No, no, Jim, Jim. Call me Jim.

I would preferto call you Minister, Minister.

Minister, Minister?

Oh quite, quite. I see what you mean.

Do I have to call you Private Secretary, Private Secretary?

- No. Do call me Bernard. - Thank you, Bernard.

You're mostwelcome. Yourhealth, Minister.

Well what now?

Allowme to present Sir Humphrey Appleby,

Permanent UnderSecretary of State and Head of the D. A. A.

- Hello, Sir Humphrey. - Hello, and welcome.

- Thank you. - I believe you know each other.

Yes, we did cross swords in the Public Accounts Committee.

I wouldn't say that.

You came up with all the questions.

Opposition's about asking questions.

And Government's about not answering them.

You answered mine.

I'm glad you thought so.

Good luck.

- Who else is in this Department? - I am the Permanent UnderSecretary

known as the Permanent Secretary.

Wolley is your Principal Private Secretary.

And I too have a Principal Private Secretary.

Directly responsible to me are 10 Deputy Secretaries

87 UnderSecretaries, and 219 Assistant Secretaries.

Responsible to the PPS

are Parliamentary Private Secretaries.

The PM will be appointing two Parliamentary UnderSecretaries,

and you will appoint yourown Parliamentary Private Secretary.

Can they all type?

None of us can type.

Mrs. McKay types.

She is the Secretary.

Pity we could have opened an agency.

- Very droll, sir. - Yes, very very amusing.

- I suppose they all say that. - Certainly not, Minister.

Not quite all.

Right, now then, to business.

Forgive me if I'm a bit blunt, but that's the sort of chap I am...

Frankly, this depart...

This chair's a bit...

We can change it, Minister.

We can change the furniture, decor, office routine...

- Yourwish is ourcommand. - I'd like a new chair.

Hate swivel chairs.

Two kinds of chairs to go with the two kinds of Minister.

One sort folds up instantly,

the othersort goes round and round in circles.

Now, frankly this Department has got to cut

a great swathe through all this stuffy Whitehall bureaucracy.

We're going to throw open the windows,

let in a bit of fresh air, cut through all the red tape,

streamline this creaking old bureaucratic machine.

- You mean a clean sweep? - A clean sweep.

Fartoo many people just sitting behind desks.

Not like us, of course.

Butwe've got to get rid of all those people.

- Get rid of them? - "Redeploy them".

Yes. Good Lord no, I don't mean put them out of work.

Open Government, that's what my partybelieves in,

thatwas the main plank of ourmanifesto.

Taking the nation into ourconfidence.

Nowhow does that strike you? Do sit down.

Just as you said in the House on May 2nd last year,

and again on November 23rd,