The Flintstones

How's the air up there, girls?

It's getting thin, Fred, just like my patience.

The girls are sure having a ball, aren't they, Barney?

Yeah, they're having a great time.

What happened?

Wilma, I'm home!

Fred. My goodness, he's a minute early. He must have gone through a red light.

I'm coming through the door, Wilma.

- I'm sitting down, Wilma. - Oh, dear!

Hello, Fred. How did it go at the job today?

Late with my dinner again, Wilma?

That's the second time this month.

You know I like my plate to be on the table when I sit down.

I'm sorry, Fred.

I work hard all day, and when I get home what do I get?

You work hard all day? You, you, that's all I hear.

I work hard all day, too, and what do I get?

A lot of yak from you.

You at least get out every day, see things, talk to people.

I never get out of this cave.

If you'd only take me out once in a while...

Hold it. Hold it right there!

I got you now.

Never take you out?

How short a memory can you have?

Let's see. I give up. Where did you ever take me?

Okay, I'll tick them off for you.

There was the time I took you to a...

No, that was Barney. Wait a minute, I'm still ticking them.

And there was a...

Let me see now.

I don't hear any more ticking, Fred. Maybe your clock stopped.

"Maybe your clock stopped." Droll, very droll.

I know I took you someplace.

- I got it. Boulder Beach. - Boulder Beach?

Come now, Fred. How could you avoid taking your wife on your honeymoon?

But if there was a way, I know you would have thought of it.

I'm surprised you didn't take your pal Barney instead of me.

We spent most of our honeymoon at the Boulder Beach bowling alley.

Okay, now you've done it.

Done what, Fred?

You got me all upset. I can't eat my dinner.

- Okay, I'll throw it out. - Hey, come back with that.

I'll eat it out on the front stoop.

Boulder Beach.

They had a great set of bowling alleys there.

I hate to have words with Fred.

Neither of us mean what we say when we're mad.

I have a bad day on the job, and I take it out on poor Wilma.

- Hiya, Fred. - Barney!

It's lonesome over on my stoop. Do you mind?

Be my guest, Barney-boy. My stoop is your stoop.

We wouldn't be out here, unless we were both stupes.

What was it this time, Fred?

You know, the you-never-take-me-anyplace routine.

- What did you and Betty ding-a-ling about? - Same thing.

- I think they got a point. - Yeah, I guess so.

Say, Fred...

- I've got an idea. - Not the Foreign Legion again.

- No. - Good.

They turned me down last year. Flatfeet.

Fred, let's take the girls out tonight.

That's not a bad idea.

We take them out, and we don't have to eat out here on the stoops so often.

- Someplace real nice. - Right, so they'll remember it.

Yeah, but where?

If they only played pool, it would be no problem.

- I got it, Fred. - Yeah, what?

How about taking the girls to the ball game?

The ball game? I'm surprised at you, Barney.

- Well, it was just a suggestion. - And it's a dumb suggestion...

because the ball team is playing out of town all this week.

Oh, yeah. Well, let's brainstorm this, Fred.

We'll come up with something.

- Barney! - What is it, Fred?

This is so big, it scares me.

It's not a brainstorm, it's a regular typhoon.

- What is it, Fred? I'm all ears. - Wait, don't rush me.

I will let you in on the thought process.

I figure we want the girls to have a good time, right?

- Right. - And a good time means lots of fun, right?

- Right. - Then I thought:

"Where can we have fun?"

And all of a sudden the answer comes to me.

- And that is? - The funhouse.

The funhouse! What a mind!

Yeah, the funhouse, down at the amusement park.

What do you think, Barney?

That's great, Fred! It's a wonderful idea.

Get Betty to come over right away. We'll spring it on them together.

Boy, won't they be surprised?

The funhouse at the amusement park?

Are you two out of your mind?

What do you think we are, a couple of kids?

Wilma, just a minute. I don't know about you...

- but I'll settle for the amusement park. - But, Betty, the funhouse?

I know, but I never get any further than the supermarket.

Maybe there are people out there, homes, streets.

- I'll never find out unless we go. - Well, do we go?

- All right, I guess so. - Swell.

And, Wilma, start packing plenty of sandwiches.

What? Fred, once, just once...

will you try to forget that stomach of yours?

That's asking him to forget an awful lot, Wilma.

It's cracks like that that gets a guy a fat lip, Barney.

How's the air up there, girls?

It's getting thin, Fred, just like my patience.

The girls are sure having a ball, aren't they, Barney?

Yeah, they're having a great time.

Remember, Betty, you agreed to let the boys take us here.

I'm sorry, Wilma. I guess I should've known better.

What happened?

- Are you sure this is safe, Barney? - Sure, you'll love it.

Here we go again. Hang on!

Come on, girls. They got four seats left on the rocket-to-the-moon ride.

You and Barney go, Fred. Betty and I will rest here for a few minutes.

Okay, but you're going to miss all the fun.

I know.

I haven't had such fun since I had a tooth pulled.

We better stop before we laugh our way into a hospital.

Fred, look, there's one of those photo machines.

I think I'll have a picture taken for Wilma.

She's still carrying the one I took for my high school graduation.

Put a coin in the slot, Barney. I'm ready.

All right, keep your eye on the birdie, Fred.

It's finished.

How about that, Barney? Isn't science wonderful?

Hey, Fred, look over there.

That gives me an idea, Barney.

We can make a record for the girls, a sort of souvenir of their night out.

Hey, that's a great idea, Fred.

And every time they say we don't take them out, we'll play it back to them.

- Okay, Barney, put the coin in. - Put the coin in?

Why is it I'm always the one that puts the coin in things, Fred?

- You bashful or something? - Of course not, Barney.

It's just that I haven't got any small change.

Yeah, this is the sixth time today you didn't have any small change.

How about that? The bird's got a long-play beak.

Why don't you go first, Barney? I don't know what to say.

Gee, Fred, I don't know what to say either.

Oh, brother, every customer, the same thing.

They want to make a record, but they don't know what to say.

How about Mary Had a Little Lamb, Hickory Dickory Dock...

the alphabet, your name?

Come on, fellows. I was taking a bath when you came in.

- Hey, Barney, I got a good idea. - Yeah, what?

- I'll sing. - Oh, no!

The girls will love it.

Oh, boy, I'll need more than a bath after this.

- Start the record, Barney. - Right.

Who's that swinging down the street?

Who's the birdie with the two-four beat?

The two-beat wails come soft but sweet

Listen to the doody bird sing

Listen to the rocking bird Listen to the rocking bird

The rocking bird is swinging all day long

Listen to the rocking

Beats me where they could have gone.

Funny we can't find them. We've been looking for an hour.

I've got a good mind to go home without them.

That's not bad, Barney.

- Play it back once more. - Right, Fred.

Who's that swinging down the street?

Who's the birdie with the two-four beat?

- What's that horrible noise, Wilma? - I don't know.

- Maybe some animal is caught in a trap. - Oh, the poor thing.

Betty, look.

- Hiya, Wilma. - Hi, Betty.

- We've had it, Fred. We're going home. - But we made a record for you.

I'll say you did, the most miserable time on record.

We get one night out, and so these sports take us to an amusement park.

Then they got the colossal nerve to leave us sitting on a bench.

- While they're having a good time. - Big deal.

- Dream stuff, look what I found. - What is it, boy next door?

Some cornball cut a side and forgot it.

Just for laughs, let's get the gang together and give it a spin.

Cool, sound the alarm, and we'll meet at my place.

Listen to the rocking bird, way out

Listen to the crazy bird, he flips