The Middle

Whoa, easy there, girl. Save some for the rest of us.

I think Taco Jason's is under new management.

There's something different about their tacos.

I think they're skimping on the mayonnaise. Here, try it.

Oh, wait. I know what it is.

It's not fake cheese anymore. I liked the fake cheese.

It made the fake beef taste like real beef.

What do you mean you got your driver's license?!

Well, you guys weren't around, so I asked Sue to take me.

- I passed! - Yeah, we saw that.

Brick, that is not okay!

If your parents say no to something,

that doesn't mean you go get your sister to do it!

I really thought you'd be fine with this.

I mean, didn't I prove my trustworthiness

when I stole back our car from the Glossners?

I'm sorry, but there are steps

to getting your driver's license.

We gotta put you on our insurance,

make sure the car is tuned up, alert the neighbors...

What did you think you were gonna do, Brick,

secretly drive around for the next 75 years

without us noticing?

Sorry, pal. You're grounded.

Two weeks.

That means no library, no seeing Cindy after school,

no... I don't know what else you do.

Oh, well. At least it gets me out of prom this weekend.

Wait, what? Prom?

I thought that was just for juniors and seniors.

No, 'cause of budget cuts,

there's only one dance a year now, so everybody gets to go.

Well, you have to go to prom.

I don't care about prom.

Well, you should. It's a major life event.

You don't want to miss that.

I mean, prom at the same time

you actually have a girlfriend?

What are the odds of that ever happening again?

- But I'm punished. - Well, now you're unpunished.

He has to go to prom, Mike.

You're sending very conflicting messages.

What's not to get? You're grounded until Saturday

and then you will go to prom, mister.

I smell like unlimited baked beans

and my feet are killing me.

Rough day at the Cattle Prod?

They had a special... four steaks for $8.

I had a party of eight people,

so I ended up carrying a tray with 32 steaks on it.

Well, 29 after I slipped on that puddle of Thousand Island.

Well, allow me to be the first to welcome you

to the world of poorness

and its never-ending string of crappy jobs.

It's just having a job makes you so busy.

I can't do anything I want to do anymore,

like gold-dust facials, or closing my eyes

and ordering things off Amazon just to see what I get.

I mean, I didn't even take Sue out for her 21st birthday.

Oh, don't sweat that. I didn't take her out either.

But you still got her something, right?

No.

Axl, she's your sister.

You have to do something.

It doesn't have to be big, it just has to come from the heart.

So... what's the plan for tomorrow?

What do you mean?

For prom! How are you gonna ask Cindy?

Oh. I was gonna say, "Cindy, do you want to go to prom?"

Wrong.

Look, I'm on Facebook all day at work

so I can see what everybody else's kids are doing.

You can't just ask her, you gotta do a promposal.

You know, normally I enjoy a good portmanteau,

but I gotta say, that one just feels a little forced.

No, it's fun! You gotta be creative,

like filling Cindy's locker with something.

Shrimp?

I was thinking more like roses.

Oh, I saw this one where this guy got all his friends

to lie down on an empty football field

and they spelled out "prom" with their bodies,

and they video'd the whole thing with a drone

and then they showed it on the scoreboard at halftime.

I wish I could've just been punished.

Lexie's little talk got through to Axl

in a way that, funny enough, mine never do.

And he decided he should do something nice for Sue.

Hey, just so you know,

it's not like I completely forgot your birthday.

I got you a present.

You did?!

Oh... yeah.

Well, I don't have it now.

So I'll give it to you next time I see you.

Well, happy birthday to me two months ago.

- Bye. - Bye.

- Bye. - Bye.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?

Oh, this? Well, you told me I have to do a promposal,

so I'm going as Bernie the Bookmark.

I'm gonna wait till lunch so there's a big crowd,

then I'm gonna ask Cindy to "save a place" for me at prom.

It'll be a new "chapter" in our relationship.

Pretty good, huh?

Brick, a promposal has to be elegant.

Something the girl will remember for the rest of her life.

Cynthia Violet Hornberger,

would you do me the honor of accompanying me to prom?

No.

Aww.

- Whoa! - Dad, you went too far!

I know, I know. It's... rrgh!

I'm not used to this stupid remote your mom got.

The buttons are tiny and there's too many of 'em.

Oh, Axl! Hi!

I came home after my class, so now you've seen me...

Yeah.

You said you were gonna give me my present

the next time you see me, and as you can see, here I am.

Oh, right.

Right. Well, it's not really so much a thing

as it is more of an experience.

An experience!

But it's pretty involved, so I'm still working out the details.

Details!

Sooo? How'd we do?

Not good. She said "no."

What?

I don't understand, it was such a good idea.

Was it, Mom? Was it?

I mean, is she going with somebody else?

Did she say why? I don't get it.

You look so good in that tux.

You can't even tell a dead guy was almost buried in it.

I was going to ask for an explanation,

but after I gave the drummers and the flag girls

their 10 bucks, Cindy was gone.

It's fine, I didn't really want to go to prom anyway.

Ah, dames.

I'm over 'em.

No, Brick, you can't give up. You gotta try.

Remember that one time in gym class

you didn't want to climb the rope and I made you do it?

What happened?

My hands slipped and I burned my privates on the way down.

But you got to stay in bed for a week and read.

That was a good week.

See? Moms know stuff. Now go get your girl.

Axl.

Hi, Axl. Axl.

Axl.

Hi. Good morning.

Okay, so I'm super excited about my birthday experience,

but I have a few questions...

What do I need to wear? Are there water elements?

Do I need to wear a bathing suit under my clothes?

Are there fluffy animals to pet?

Also, do I need to bring my chigger spray

in case we're gonna roll through the grass?

Uh... there's still a few things to sort out.

I'm gonna make a few phone calls.

But it's definitely happening this Saturday.

Saturday is great.

What time? 9:00? 10:00? 11:00? 12:00?

1:00? - Stop!

It's at 1:00? I love 1:00.

Okay, I don't really think I should say much more

'cause I don't want to spoil it.

That is a great idea.

I can't believe I have to wait till Saturday.

But it's okay. The longer things take, the better they are!

Okay, what's the current status of prom?

Because if Cindy doesn't want to go,

my hairdresser has a niece who will.

She's slightly odd, she got kicked by a donkey.

But it won't affect her dancing.

Actually, it's hard to get her to stop dancing.

No need.

After much negotiation, Cindy has agreed to go with me.

Really? That's great! What made her change her mind?

An old pal o' mine named Bernie the Bookmark.

Seriously?

Never bet against Bernie.

Okay. Well, this is good.

So you'll come over here, take pictures...

Oh, you know what you should do?

Invite your old social-skills group over

and we'll host a pre-prom party.

Oh, that'd be fun! You haven't seen them for a while.

Prom is not just for the cool kids, you know.

It's for everybody.

That statement could not be less true,

but I admire your optimism.

Ohh!

I'm ready!

You're a little late, but that's okay.

What's with the basketball?

Is it part of the birthday extravaganza?

Is it a clue? Are we getting ready to bounce?