Clone Cops

Hey, congratulations on filling out your start paperwork

and joining NEFARICORP.

Today, you'll begin your training

as a replicant technician.

You might be worried that you're not educated enough,

but I assure you it's not gonna be a problem.

Just look around the room,

and I bet you'll feel a lot better.

Just about any job can be filled with replicants

except replicant technicians actually.

We tried it, but having clones make clones, it got weird.

So how do we do it?

Well, every replicant is made from a slurry of DNA

we call the sauce.

Do not contaminate the sauce!

We pump sauce into a replication pod,

which turns it into a fully formed adult body in minutes.

How does it work? It's not your job, so don't worry about it, all right.

Your main responsibility is to get the sauce into the pod.

The sauce is pure.

Do not contaminate the sauce.

Seriously, do not screw up the sauce thing, all right?

It makes defective replicants,

and we dock your pay for those.

Okay, you can come on out now.

Hi, there.

-Ready to work? -Oh.

You told me they'd be defective,

but that-- that-- that-- that's like-- that's haunting.

Let's get rid of you.

Oh, hey there.

Okay, you got me.

I surrender. Hands up, right?

Cute.

You are unclean.

Do not contaminate the sauce.

Did somebody say benefits?

Once a year, you're entitled

to a free soft serve ice cream cone on your hire date.

- So you got that to look forward to.

And in five short years...

They didn't really zap that guy. That's just special effects.

Okay.

They probably just bonked him on the head

and tossed him in a reclamation unit.

Yeah.

Man, you look familiar.

You're One Tank Frank.

Guilty as charged.

You a fan?

Yeah, I mean, it's the whole reason why I'm here,

to make clone cops.

Oh, no. Not supposed to use the C word.

Oh, clone security officers.

No, the C word is clone.

Never mind.

So is this everyone?

-I guess. -Let's have a look.

How's it going guys?

Hello?

Kind of a celebrity situation going on here.

No, yeah, you guys take five.

Looks like it's your lucky day.

I came down here to select my newest assistant,

and I think you've got the right stuff.

Seriously? Oh, man, that's great.

That's-- should I finish the video?

No need. No, time is the best teacher.

Welcome to the future.

When-- when I point at you like this,

I'm waiting for you to tell me your name.

Oh, right, I'm Freddy.

Welcome to the future, Freddy!

Hey, kid.

Wake up kid.

-It started. -Rub that sleep outta your eyes.

Porter wants to see ya.

That's not gonna work. We can't use the skywalk.

There's too many shops. It's covered in retinal scanners.

That I can disable.

Not from here, right?

I might have to go out on a heist, Mom.

The new guy's been out more times than me.

No, out of the question. It's too dangerous.

It is the best possible option.

Okay, this place was designed to keep people like us out.

It's a rigged system.

It's only rigged if you play by the rules.

How long am I supposed to wait for you to trust me?

- I trust you. I just-- - You're not ready.

Thank you, Fera.

You're better off hiding behind your keyboard.

I am not hiding.

Not as helpful.

Hey, it's Cipher.

-How's-- how-- -Unbelievable.

Hey, boss.

Found the new kid in the back passed out.

Well, I hope you got some sleep,

because it's gonna be a long night.

Need your route to the drop site.

My-- oh, yeah.

My-- my route, I-- I can-- I can do that.

What are you smiling at?

Hey, kid, might not wanna make eye contact.

She takes it as a threat.

-Sorry. -Yeah.

Uh, where's-- where's the drop site?

It's a little red X right there.

Cool, yeah.

Um, my route--

route to the drop site is--

Cipher, what's going on?

I don't know. Why don't you ask Kinder?

He sounds pretty clued in.

Knock it off. What's the alarm?

It's just a perimeter alert.

It's probably one of those mega rats.

Those things are size of toddlers. Let me just--

Wait, it's a vehicle and...

whatever it is, it has a government transponder.

What does that mean?

It means it's probably police.

-I got it. -No, no, hold on, Fera.

-How many? -Looks like just one.

Here, kid.

Take this.

You know, just in case.

It's probably a patrol. Let's wake Granny up.

Granny. That never works.

What do you know about it?

Oh, nothing.

I was just thinking--

Why are you smiling?

Eye contact, kid.

-Eye contact. -Right.

Kinder, go stand by the door and wait for my signal to open it.

We're gonna have to time this just right.

This is RSO 421.

Checking out suspicious activity.

If you need anywhere else.

Copy that.

Oh, somebody dropped a dime.

Looks like my lucky day.

-Yes? -Hello ma'am.

How are you today?

Oh, my elbow is acting up again,

but I suppose I'll survive.

Are you a police officer?

No, ma'am. I'm in a NEFARICORP Replicant security officer.

Isn't that neat?

We've received reports of unlawful activity in the area.

Could you take that helmet off, dearie?

I can't understand you.

Of course.

No, no, no, no, don't take the helmet off.

You won't be able to hear me.

Is that better?

Oh, much better. Thank you, dear.

Idiot. Why would a little old lady be living in an abandoned warehouse?

Ma'am, we've received reports of criminal activity in this warehouse.

Have you seen anything suspicious?

Oh, my.

Criminals, you say?

Well, let me think.

No, I haven't seen any criminals,

but there is a squirrel who keeps stealing my bird seed.

Do you think that's who you could be looking for?

What was that?

Nothing, it's probably just my kettle.

Ma'am, do I have permission to enter your domicile?

Oh, my, it's such a mess in here

and I-- I can't really clean the way I used to.

If only there was a better way.

For 12 low monthly payments,

you could have your own robosan.

What's she doing?

I don't know.

Not only does it keep carpets spotless,

but it mops hardwoods, tile and laminate, too.

Something's wrong. I-- I lifted her AI

off of one of those interactive infomercials.

She must be defaulting to her sales pitch.

She's crashing.

Something keeps trying to connect to my device.

It's killing my bandwidth.

-Can you squash it? -I'm trying.

It's more than just a robotic floor cleaner.

It's a companion-panion.

Ma'am, I'm gonna have to ask you to step aside.

Uh, yes.

Are you a police officer?

Shoot him kid, shoot him.

Boss!

Huh? Would you look at that?

Oh, how does it look?

It's fine.

We're gonna get you patched up.

Hey, help me move her.

Oh, that is a lot of blood.