The Octopus (Le Poulpe)

My feet hurt in these shoes.

I'm not feeling this church.

Yeah, it stinks.

These fucking shoes.

Shit!

Come on, help me.

Son of a bitch!

Another stupid clue.

Stop that bullshit.

So what do we do?

It's over.

Call the cops, I'm going to bed.

These shoes are great.

What the hell are you doing here?

You could've warned me.

I'm coming to end my night.

What do you think?

That you can ruin mine with no warning?

Darling, let me in, I'm done in.

You bore me, Gabriel.

You're not all alone.

And neither am I.

HAIR SALON CHÉRYL

CLOSED FOR STOCK TAKE BY THE LADY OF THE HOUSE

The more we talk about it, the more we have.

Do you agree?

It's not that simple.

It's like plane crashes.

That's what I'm saying.

The more we talk, the more we have.

I already told you, asshole.

That's what I said.

There are countries without planes.

Yeah, where there's no planes, there's no fires.

Yeah.

Here's the Octopus.

Looks more like an eel from here.

-There's no danger. -There he is again.

That's the third time we've seen him.

The security systems have

worked well as planned.

Yeah, as planned.

One more time, against the partisan exploitation of these…

Our kids will be born with two heads!

Go to prison, you hippies!

These idiots piss us off.

My coffee?

What's wrong with him?

-Hi, Gérard. -Hi, Jean.

-Mr. Jean. -That's right.

The hairy one didn't let it happen.

Two heads and four arms, I don't know where they get that bullshit from!

Those are the kinds of things you can pull out when you're in shape.

Because today…

Say something!

There's a lot of shining wits here.

What?

But…

What are you on about?

Oh yeah, great!

It's a spoonerism!

It's a play on words.

A symbol, a meaning, semiotics.

Yes, semiotics!

-Hi, Castel. -Hi.

Semiotics, my balls.

You'd better off working, you layabout.

I'd go down a small hill.

If it's bills, you can drink across the street.

It'll come to that, Ducon.

You're full of shit!

Come see here.

Oh, shit, a storm is brewing.

Freedom is a constraint.

That's what you've been saying since we got together.

We love each other, we do what we want and respect each other's freedom.

I'd say turning up at mine at dawn without warning attacks my freedom.

As for your sexist jokes about the salon inventory…

I'd rather forget it.

I rang the bell but there wasn't anyone.

Still no answer!

-She broke her femur neck. -Poor thing!

-She must be suffering. -A martyr.

After, she went down the stairs…

It's from Morsang, where I went on vacation.

"Morsang Council. Madam,

we inform you that the individuals

in the cemetery, have vandalized your grandparents' grave."

-Shit! -Seven years of bullshit!

Pay and then get out, I've seen enough of you!

"We would be grateful if you would come to note the damages.

We thank you, blah blah, regards."

Will you come with me?

-What about your job? -There's Sylvie and Vanessa.

They're not smart but they'll manage for a day.

It's not a good time right now.

What are you looking for?

Look at those nice shoes.

Are you family?

Yeah. The family's still a bit complicated.

Where it starts, where it ends!

Look, it surely happened to them by chance.

I don't really believe in chance.

I only believe in it.

He's full of shit.

You need to make yourselves heard.

You need to…

These are my third highlights in six months, TGA 22.

It's really great, really, really great.

I'm really happy.

That's great.

Yeah, it's great.

Carry on and in six months we'll be calling you Kojak.

You think?

I only use TGA 22 to descale the toilets.

Oh really?

There's two tibias and some small bones missing from the grave. It's official.

So?

Well, it's key.

If they took bones, they'll do it again.

Do what again?

Satan worshipers. They steal bones for their rituals.

Like the Pygmies.

I'm laughing, but it's not funny.

As if that was all we had, with all the nuclear beards!

It's a change from breathalyzers!

It doesn't change anything.

It just complicates it.

Well, what can I do?

I have a solution if you're up for it.

What is it?

I warn you, it's radical.

Radical!

Ah well, shit, then!

-Do you think it's strange? -The Pygmies or the beards?

People who attack power stations with electric guitars.

I like guitars too.

But I don't like beards.

Except for Zed Zed Top, but that's not the same.

Hats off to you.

Solid.

What about the Quatre Barbus?

The Quatre Barbus?

What's that bullshit?

They're an old group.

Ridiculous name! Quatre Barbus doesn't mean anything!

-Still better than ZZ Top. -Zed Zed Top.

Do you have your papers?

That's going to be complicated.

Your papers.

Here.

There you go, with taxes it's 6000 francs to pay within a month.

6000 for a cracked headstone?

And the check must be made payable to the town hall.

Oh no! If it's cash, I have to fill out a form!

Yeah?

You told me you lived in a café,

but you claim you don't live there, nor are you the owner.

-What are you doing there? -Is this really necessary?

It's essential, I need a profession.

Put "press officer".

That's a girl's job.

I know, but I kept the same job after my operation.

What operation?

It's like baldness,

it's surprising at first, but you get used to it.

I found this near the chapel.

I don't know what it is.

And I don't know why I'm giving it to you.

If you come back, come see me.

I'm enjoying this conversation.

Say…

Is there a hotel nearby?

You'll have to see.

You handle things pretty well for a press agent.

Say thanks.

To me.

Two second class for Paris.

When does it leave?

It leaves in half an hour, change in Nantes, if not…

If not what?

If not, erm… I don't know.

Do you know what this is?

Are you a cop? Is that it?

Not really, no.

I can't get annoyed, I sit down all day.

I'm talking nonsense.

It's from Angernaud, it's a receipt

from the Ecomuseum, where the submarine is.

Whore!

This guy is sick!

Whore! Little bitch!

I'll kill you!

What if we took two or three days?

Are you serious?

Don't you have any old friends in the region?

What about the shop?

-You have two shampooers, don't you? -Oh no!

They'll kill the Perez mother.

You need to learn to delegate.