Outrageous Fortune

You'll need to sort out that thing with Falani for those mag wheels.

Shh.

Oh, and, uh, will you tell Eric to deliver those bloody cases of Scotch to that guy?

Shh.

And the money for those phone cards, it's, um... Where did I leave that?

Shh, shh.

Wolf, it's all under control.

Would you shut up and fuck me?

No.

No, no. Not today.

# Lying in the gutter,

# I cut the cord from my mother.

# She pat me on the head and said,

# 'Go to sea, boy. Get to sea, man.'

# My luck in the gutter black.

# I guess I'm running back...

# ...to you.

# You in my brain. You in my heart. #

We have a warrant to search this address.

Make yourselves at home.

Pascalle, come on. Pascalle, get up. Wake up.

Why? Cops.

Again? Yep. >

Loretta, get up. We've got company.

Van? Van, come on. Wake up.

Wake—

Shit.

So, what is it we've stolen and hidden in the cereal (?)

Where's Van? No idea.

Isn't it enough what you're doing to my husband?

When was the last time you saw Van?

I wasn't wearing my wristwatch (!)

Some guys raided the home of an Asian businessman, put an old lady in hospital.

We got a description, and one sounds a lot like Van.

Whatever you think of us, we don't beat up old ladies.

Right, cos the Wests have got a code of honour (!)

You got a warrant for my son?

I'd like him to assist in our enquiries.

I'll let him know that when I see him. I'll be in the shower if you need me.

Where's Jethro? Leave him out of it.

The description matched Van, and with them being identical...

They're not.

I bloody can't tell them apart.

Jethro has nothing to do—

'Course not. He'll make a good lawyer, I reckon.

Had the right lack of moral guidance from his parents.

Jethro has nothing to do with this.

Then tell me where Van is.

Put that back, you bastard. You can't go through my stuff.

A search warrant, by definition—

This pervert went through my stuff.

I was searching the drawers.

I found this book. I started to leaf through it.

He drooled over it.

I only looked at a couple. A couple of what?

Nothing. Evidence, Constable?

In a manner of speaking.

Oh, shut up, freak.

What is this?

It's my future.

SHOWER RUNS

It's my portfolio.

Well, not all of it. Rene's right — we need to do more.

Everything OK? We're good. Who the hell is Rene?

My photographer.

He's brilliant. He needs $1500, which is almost half of the $2000 he usually charges.

You take your clothes off for this man and you pay him?!

I knew you wouldn't understand and get bent out of shape. I'm doing this because of you.

You're always saying how I need to get off my arse and do something with my life. This is me doing it.

Pascalle, dreaming about being a model—

It is not a dream.

Rene says I have the bone structure to go all the way, and he knows

because he took photos of Rachel Hunter. What about my $1500?

You're not paying that man another cent.

Daddy?

Sorry, love. I'm staying right out of this one.

I'll see you there.

Looking forward to it (!)

Remember to tell Van I want a word.

It's the top of my 'to do' list.

Haven't you got better things to do, Sergeant Judd?

You know my motto — 'Where there's a crime, there's the West family.' And today, that's just the start.

I want you to pick up Jethro's cake after school. Why do I have to?

I've got things to do, and you walk past the bakery.

Why can't Useless do it? Shut up.

Pascalle can't be trusted with money.

I'd rather go to Dad's sentencing than Jethro's stupid capping.

Too bad. Go to school, then come home, we'll dress up nice

and celebrate your brother's success as a loving family, whether you want to or not.

'Mr West, I'd love to say I saw some sign of remorse,

'but sitting here on my bench — on my big, fat, hairy, pimple-encrusted arse —

'all I see is a career criminal who's spent his entire life thieving from honest blah blah fucking blah.'

Don't.

What?

Treat it like it's a joke.

Corky said a year.

Out in nine months.

We've had worse, haven't we?

Yeah.

Good girl.

Do you know where Van was last night?

No.

Corky's here.

Thanks, love.

It's not fair. I never get to go.

You don't wanna go, trust me.

But I could break down in tears and abuse the judge.

That's why we have lawyers.

I'm feeling good about this one, Cheryl. That's good.

All the ducks in a row. Thanks for the cheque, by the way.

You just stay beautiful for me, OK?

I will.

It may not happen overnight...

...but it will happen. PHONE RINGS

Can you get that, love?

I'll go do this lawyer shit with Corky.

OK. I'll do what I need to for Jethro's thing. I'll see you at the court.

Mum? Yes?

It's for you. Can it wait?

Not really.

It's Grandpa's neighbours. They say his unit's kind of burning down.

# Find it hard to deny you, reply to your call.

# You want from me, but you don't want me at all.

All I did was put some chips in the fat to fry.

And walked to the bloody shops?

I needed milk.

Guess I'll have to live with you now.

Yeah. Yeah. Come on.

# I just had to walk away. #

# I want you to need me like I needed you.

# 'Goodbye,' I cried.

Nice suit.

Thanks, Dad.

What are you doing here?

Being a loving and supportive son.

First time I've been to one of these things. I can call it research.

Nice suit.

OK, you — school.

Shouldn't I stay and look after Grandpa?

School. Pascalle, set Grandpa up. He can live in the caravan.

Why do I have to do it?

Because I've got lots to do and you spend all day watching soaps.

I was going to do stuff.

Don't go near that photographer.

Why can't I go to see Dad?

You've been before, you know what they're like, and you need to look after Grandpa. School!

All right, all right.

I like prison. Always someone to talk to.

Where did you get to last night?

Oh, I crashed at Munter's.

We got raided again cos of you.

Yeah? Ow.

What happened to your eye?

Oh. (LAUGHS) I fell...

down.

Van, think really carefully about what you say to me next.

Then we'll be here all day.

What's that supposed to mean?

Ignore Pascalle.

OK, so, I'm not the one graduating dumb university.

The only university you could graduate.

If you can tell me anything about two blokes doing a home invasion on some Asian guy's place,

then you need to, right now.

Nah.

You might wanna run down to the station, tell Sergeant Judd that.

OK.

Oh, what about Dad's thing?

I'm going to Dad's thing.

Come on, Grandpa. Welcome to your new home.

# He said so.

# He said I oughta stop it.

# He said I...

# He said I oughta buck it up. #

Got held up. I was with Grandad.

Where is he? Is he gone? Yeah.

Bugger. He said to say he'll see you soon.

What'd he get?

What?

Uh, four.

Four? Four years?

Minimum non-parole of three.

What about your fucking ducks — the ones in a fucking row?

Look, Cheryl, there—

Don't you 'Look, Cheryl' me. You said one year, out in nine months.

What about four bloody years? We will be app—

My oath, you'll appeal it. You'll appeal till you're blue in the fucking face. Now, piss off!

I'll call you.

Jesus. Four years. How the fuck am I gonna...?

CELLPHONE RINGS I can come and stay with you if you want.

Oh, fuck it.

What is it, Pascalle?

Come home right now or I'll leave, even if our house burns down too.

What's he doing?

He's calling me Grandma and putting the moves on me.

It's Alzheimer's. He gets confused.

You should hear the stuff he wants to do. It's sick.

Where's Van? Can he help you?

Oh, yeah. He's such a big help (!) He just left.

Whatever.

Either you come home right now or I'm gone.