Daytime Divas

Maxine: Previously on Daytime Divas...

Oh, Maxine, look, it was your vagina.

It's my show.

You can't fire me. I've gone viral.

- Leave Andrew. - There's stuff that I need to work out.

Maxine Robinson's fallen into a coma.

She could be like this for a while.

Who's getting her left chair?

I'm getting a restraining order.

Is that how you treat your mother?

I just need to let go. I just got off of probation.

- Is Brad getting rough with you? - We're fine.

- I love you. - You're a PA with benefits.

Remember that sexual harassment seminar? I learned some stuff.

What do you want?

Maxine claimed to never have had cosmetic surgery.

Blepharoplasty? That's an eyebrow lift.

Your vitals have returned to normal.

My body wasn't even cold yet and they're trying to steal my show.

We should issue a press release that my condition

remains still in a coma, fighting for my life.

- (Whooshing) - In all my years reporting the news,

I have interviewed presidents, princes, and pop stars.

But there are other voices that I wanted to be heard.

So, a decade ago I created a show, where women could sit down

and say what's on their minds. And, boy, do they ever.

We have a real slice of American pie,

who puts faith and family first;

A Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist with a passion for justice;

A child star who is all grown up. Her POV is OMG; and a real

livewire who will crack you up while she's tearing you down;

and me, Maxine Robinson. I'm in the left chair every day

at noon, on The Lunch Hour, where no topic is taboo.

- Woman: Two minutes, standby. - Female Narrator: And so

Maxine Robinson rose from her humble beginnings in Jamaica,

Queens, to become an award-winning journalist.

We're making it sound as if she's dead. Is she?

- Was there an update? - Shh!

Okay, good. Good, good, all good.

She's still in a coma.

Narrator: Besides her success as a broadcaster, businesswoman

and humanitarian, she's also a great philanthropist.

Really?

She still hasn't paid me for the wrapping paper

from Savannah's school fundraiser.

Guys, they're trying to listen to this. You're being disrespectful.

- Thank you. - Excuse me.

Narrator: Maxine was a trailblazing working mother,

having rescued her nephew, Shawn, from an unstable home,

and he became not only her legally adopted son but a

treasured member of our family here at The Lunch Hour.

I bet you he has a treasured member.

Inappropriate.

Narrator: Though her marriage to Ted Winsor, a successful

entrepreneur and the love of her life, ended in a

heartbreaking tragedy...

And she never had sex again.

I can't imagine losing a husband.

I would be so lost if anything ever happened to Brad.

Narrator: Like Maxine often said, nobody

can ever replace the love of your life.

We'd all be better off if she'd dust the cobwebs up out of...

Narrator: From all of us here at NAB and

our family at The Lunch Hour, we salute Maxine Robinson.

Man: Back to live in three,

two...

That was so inspiring.

If you can somehow hear me, Maxine, we want you back.

We all want her back, Kibby.

Keep on praying just as we've

all... well, as I've been doing,

which leads me to my own personal tribute.

When I was sitting with her in the hospital,

something came to me, a song that

celebrates the power that we have to heal.

It's called For God's Sake.

What a crock. It came to her in the hospital.

She's been trying to get me to let her sing that song for the

past two months. If my eye twitched, it was

because my senses were being assaulted.

- Cut to commercial. - Now?

- Maxine: Now! - Cut to commercial, now.

through nasty ring around the tub and can quickly tackle...

Okay, Mom, you've had your fun, but we can't keep doing this.

It's making me look bad and the network's starting to think

we're all incompetent.

They assume you're making mistakes out of

grief because I'm not there. They love it.

They may love it, but I've got Jason

Abel up my ass every five minutes.

Abel's a network president.

Up an ass is where he's most comfortable.

He wants to bring in replacement cohost for you.

After three days?

Never happen.

My empty chair is getting huge ratings.

Which reminds me to get Mo's fat ass out of it, now.

Short of a leash, I can't get

- her to stay in her own chair. - There's a Petco on Columbus.

Abel says they're looking at Tyra Banks.

- Puh-lease. - Shawn: Meredith Vieira.

- Maxine: She'd be good. - Really?

- No! - Caitlyn Jenner.

We can't have a woman with male privilege.

- Shawn: Ann Coulter. - No, has to be a woman.

Oh damn.

They're looking at Michelle Obama.

- Hello? Mom? - (Street din)

- Where is Leon? - He's never where he's supposed to be.

He's harder to find on the floor than you.

I've got a bit more on my plate than Leon.

Leon forgot to take my phone and Brad

called in the middle of the show.

You don't know how to turn your own phone off?

And Brad hasn't realized what time The Lunch Hour's on yet?

Please don't attack my Brad.

He's the perfect husband and father.

The problem is Leon.

He dropped my cards and put them back in the wrong order.

Isn't it your job to check them?

Why are we making excuses for him? Do you actually like him?

No, okay? He's a lazy entitled idiot, but he tries.

Well, he screws everything up. Except the lattes!

Oh!

Finally. These are like crack. Well, don't all look at me like that.

It's a figure of speech.

Mine would taste that good to if I took

45 minutes to make them. Just saying.

- So bitter. - 30 seconds, ladies.

Mm! Leon!

Do I have anything in my teeth?

- Come on, hurry, hurry, hurry. - What am I, your busboy?

- (Audience applause) - Man: Going live.

Oh my goodness.

Sorry about all of that. And welcome back.

As you can see, we're still a little bit lost

- without our fearless leader. - I'm not.

Which is why I want to share my tribute.

You're going to do it again?

- (Footsteps) - Here we go.

- Thank you. - (Slow country music)

For God's sake, what are you all moping around for?

- Nobody died! - (Audience cheers and applause)

- (Upbeat pop music) - What the...

- You're back. - Yes, I'm back.

How?

Well, one minute I was out, the next, I was wide awake.

Well, come, sit down.

I would love to.

But, Mo, you look so at home in my chair.

- Thank you, Maxine, I feel at home. - (Laughter)

- Well, it's good to be back. - (Audience cheers and applause)

Mo, I want to thank you for filling in for me.

You know how I appreciate initiative.

That's all the time we have today.

Tune in tomorrow; we'll have so much more to talk about,

including an in-depth discussion with the ever-popular and

sometimes controversial Dr. Justin Timmerman.

So, join us tomorrow and, always remember, lunch is on us.

- (Audience applause) - Man: That's a wrap.

- Maxine, I'm so glad you're okay. - I prayed for you every minute.

Your hair looks really good from being in a coma.

I thought it'd be all flat in the back.

Thank you, I appreciate your concern and how hard

you all worked in my absence. It's times like this

when you learn who your friends really are.

- Indeed. - Absolutely.

- That's all. - Oh, okay.

Uh, well, please let us know if you need anything.

- If I do, I'll let you know. - Thanks, Maxine.

Uh, Kibby, um, can we have a chat in my office?

- Me? - Mm-hmm.

Oh, sure. Yeah. Um, sorry.

- How are you, baby girl? - I'm fine.

How are you?

Anything you wanna tell me?

You mean about me?

I'm not worried about you. You're the only one who's not a

conniving vulture ready to eat her own mother for air time.

Thank you, that's, that's very nice.

To be honest, I, I had a bit of a rough time.

Of course, you did. Why would I expect anything different?

- It's so disappointing. - I am so sorry.

Well, don't apologize. I should've known those women

were going to try to push you around in my absence.

Huh?

Oh, no, they were fine. I was talking

about the... the something else.

- What is it, baby? - It's, uh, it's, it's nothing.

Kibby, you know, I'm very proud of you.

And I'm so impressed on how far you've come.

If you ever need to talk, you know you can always come to me.

I do know that. I do. Thank you, Maxine.

- Is there anything else? - No, that's it.

Just do me a favour and stay there for another five minutes.

And when you leave here, don't breathe a word of this to the

other women. You know they're outside the door ***