Pretty Boy

- Some of my favorite childhood memories

are tied to the cinema.

I dreamed of seeing myself on the big screen.

And now

I can't see myself.

How'd that even work?

A blind girl and a mute guy?

- If you ever need someone please reach out.

I am a good listener.

- You're Megan Summers.

- That was a fun role. - I've seen "Fog Storm"

at least 20 times.

- I got to live out my dreams, and most people

never get that opportunity.

And, threw it all away for something so stupid.

Yes, I think someone broke into my house.

I've dealt with stalkers before.

I know it all too well.

- I thought you looked familiar.

- Typical, right?

Another crazy Hollywood actress.

I used to go down to the basement, but

I don't have that ability to go down there anymore.

I was wondering if you wanted to come over?

I think I love you.

I want you to see me.

All of me.

Please don't hurt me.

- Bobsled. You're cleaning gutters.

- "Knocking On Heaven's Door." - Air traffic controller.

- Ah, can't hear me now? - Wiener dogs.

- It's, it's Moon Boots. - Ah, "I've fallen

and I can't get up." - Crash test dummy.

- Ah... - Kung pao chicken.

- Are these like binoculars? - Shh.

- You're looking for birds, you're checking out

hot chicks, you're ah, - God.

- You're fanning yourself. You're hot.

- You're a monkey. - You're a flying squirrel?

- Ah, YMCA! - Frogger, is it...

- Zumba? - Zumba, Zumba.

- Um, "Rolling Thunder," yes!

- You're listening to "Dancing with the Oldies."

"A Tale of Two Cities!"

Hello, gorgeous.

Can I help?

- Can you grab me a lime? - Sure.

Over on the counter.

Thank you. Are you having a good time?

It's been fun.

I've never been to a no couples allowed

Valentine's party before.

What'd you expect?

- Well... - Wait, let me guess.

A kinky, sex orgy in the Hollywood Hills?

- If I thought that, I wouldn't have came.

- Mm, honey, at a sex orgy, everyone comes.

- Mm, that may be true for the men,

but the women, not so much.

Mm, I wouldn't know.

- So, what's with the 80's theme?

It's the epitome of cheese.

And sometimes I like to smile.

Oh.

My lady. - Thanks.

Enough. Enough.

We give, we give up.

Jeez. - What was it?

Disc jockey.

- Oh. - Oh.

- Oh. - I thought it was obvious.

- You know, that was my next guess.

- Can I ask you guys a question?

- Oh, boy. - Here we go.

No, no, man. This is serious.

- Yeah, no, that's what I was worried about.

Go ahead. Ask away.

- Why the fuck are we playing charades?

Nobody plays charades. Okay?

It's something you see people do in TV or in movies.

No one actually plays this in real life.

It's a completely fictional game.

People play charades.

No, they don't.

I, I wouldn't be surprised if we're the only people

in the entire history of the world

to be actually playing this game right now.

Well, what do you wanna do?

- You know, you're way better at that game than I am.

No one guessed it, though.

Well, I mean, they're idiots.

Just blame it on them.

- Listen, since we have some new guests,

I think we should give a little history lesson

about this house

and all her deep, dark secrets.

Ooh.

Spooky.

I get it.

- Look, I know you all came here for a good time,

but there's something you should know,

something about this house.

Ooh, scary.

Laugh if you want,

but what people have seen here is no laughing matter.

What have people seen?

- If I were to begin to describe it,

it would only give you an inkling

of the true level of terror.

So I'll keep it as simple as possible. They see a monster.

- Mm. - Boo. A monster?

Everyone who has owned

this home has seen it peering through the windows.

A horror so revolting, they say one look

can give you nightmares for the rest of your life.

It stalks around the house at night

looking for what it craves most.

What does it crave?

Fresh blood.

It knows when someone new is around.

It's drawn to it like a moth to flame.

Have you seen it?

No, but I've heard it.

What does it sound like?

It giggles.

Eh, it giggles?

Yes, it giggles.

Although, it's not human-like.

It kind of sounds like...

Did, did you hear that?

Mm-hmm.

It knows you're here.

- I think I see something. - What do you see?

I see...

something behind you.

- Aw. - Oh, God.

- Hmm. - You got me.

- Mm-hmm. - Is any of that real?

- There is always a bit of truth to all legends.

- So, so? - Mm-hmm.

- Okay, well, I think it's time for bed.

- Did I scare you that much, Brad?

Nope.

What is this creepy thing?

Oh, I found it outside.

I decided to give her a home. - Oh.

- I still need to clean her up though.

Yeah.

- Thank you for coming over tonight.

You know I love your music and I'm dying to work with you.

I can't believe you live here.

My dad's a real estate agent.

He got me a great deal. - Hmm.

- Sign with me and I'll make sure

he does the same thing for you.

- I could never afford this.

Serious?

With your talent and my management,

the sky is the limit.

Plus with me, you never have to worry about

any of that producer MeToo stuff.

- Oh, that's big of you. Thank you.

Mm.

Wow.

I know.

- Did he finish already? - Oh, god, no.

No, we're just getting started.

- Mm. Then what are you doing out here?

- Oh, I believe in prolonging things.

A few minutes

in there alone handcuffed, he'll be dying for me.

Plus, I need a vape.

And somebody won't let me do it in the house

because he's anal. - Hmm.

Well, you're totally right about that,

but that's besides the point.

Wait, so Brad is handcuffed in there?

- Mm-hmm. No, he's not going anywhere.

- Mm. - Anyone else here?

- Mike and Jill are out back cleaning.

- Ew, typical. - Mm-hmm.

Someone's gotta save the world.

And Gary, and...

What, what was your friend's name again?

- Leigh. - Right.

Yes, they are upstairs.

Ah!

Good for him.

Mm-hmm.

He's been needing to get laid.

Same with Leigh.

- Well, mission accomplished, guys.

Uh, okay.

Don't go out front.

Why?

Oh, this little thing?

- Okay, fine. I'll go in the garage.

Thank you.

- I don't care what you have to say.

Gus, we are done.