Extrapolations

Fuck.

- Yes? - I'm Anna.

The server for your party tonight.

I'm the help.

Happy New Year.

Anna, are you burdened by debt?

Um--

You're finally here. I've been calling and calling the agency.

- Annie, is it? - Anna, yeah.

Sorry, my bike's busted, so I had to walk.

Put your stuff here.

- I trust you brought something to wear? - Yeah.

Alpha, centennial playlist.

We don't normally eat like this.

Mind you, it's only because of New Year's Eve.

This food cost us six months of our carbon credits, and we're not rich.

You'll get a tip, of course. Just don't expect it to be--

It's going to be disappointing.

What else? Champagne's there. Hors d'oeuvres over there.

And we'll get you out in time for your own party, I promise.

Oh, I don't have--

Auggie?

Tomorrow morning?

It's always better to start fresh.

- To let you know, it will probably be on… - Auggie?

- Did you say something? - No. That's my wife.

- August Bolo, where have you gone? - Does that mean you're reconsidering?

No. No, no, no. Um...

Our guests will be here any minute, dear.

No second thoughts.

If you say so.

I need a real commitment here.

- Auggie? - I'll be ready.

I've been searching all over for you. Playing Unicorn Capture again?

What? I don't even like that game anymore.

What? A guy can't just sit on the floor of his own closet?

- I'm not playing anything. - Yeah, this time.

Imagine you spent our carbon on something productive,

- instead of your virtual pets or games. - Or investments.

500 shares in a company that was going to invent self-walking socks.

Those socks were a good idea.

Sure, until the prototype walked someone off a cliff. Oops.

It was a bridge, and it was poorly marked, and it was badly lit.

Anyway, you're the one who's using all of our carbon points

for this little soiree tonight.

Why are you so dressed up?

It's New Year's Eve, and you're sitting in a closet.

At least I'm still trying to, for you, for us, to make things festive.

I'm festive.

You are not festive.

You think you know me. You don't know what I--

What?

What don't I know?

- What? - Just saying.

Ugh, forget it.

They're here.

Oh, and Auggie, put on some pants.

- Yay! - Yay!

You're here. You made it!

- Hi. - Eloise.

- Elodie. - Right.

W-Was the last one an Eloise?

- Eleanor. - Oh.

Thank you so much for having us.

- This is-- - Oh. Ah!

- We don't-- - Elodie is trying to bring back hugging.

- It's so natural. - Ah. Yeah. No, we don't touch.

- Anybody? - Anybody.

Oh. Okay.

- I love your dress. I love vintage. - Oh, thank you.

Uh, let me take your oxygen.

- I have a girl here. - Oh, here you go.

She's a bit of a mess. Excuse me.

- Annie! - Wow.

- Can I get some help with these? - Yes.

Ah.

- Thank you. - Yes.

Oh, what is that? Does she have that thing?

The chip, yeah.

Sweetie, didn't we talk about this?

Your apartment just got 6,000 bangs.

7,000, 12,000.

Is that an ad? I hate that.

Okay, drinks! Annie, please.

It's micro-engineered grapes from the last decarbonized bubble in Napa.

Mmm.

Mmm. Yum.

Mmm. What a treat.

It tastes like armpits.

I've heard that actually.

That's the Napa terroir, darling.

You've probably never had anything to eat or drink

that wasn't made out of kelp.

No disrespect to the kelp farmers in our midst.

Oh, none taken. It's a good business.

So, how did you two meet? Did you know it was true love?

We did.

He was the most interesting man I'd ever met.

I always believed August was destined for greatness.

And she's been disappointed ever since.

What do you do?

- Well, first, he tried wind. - I--

Of course, there's no more wind.

Then solar. Well, that went bust too.

It's not my fault that there's no more wind or sun.

It's not my fault that we're drowning in smoke and fog on this desiccated planet.

It's not my fault, Sylvie. It's not my fault.

Whoa. It's no one's fault truly, is it?

How did you two meet?

- Auggie was my mentor. - Oh.

I idolized him. A visionary who had all the skills.

Not to mention, a gorgeous young wife.

Taught me everything back when I worked for the government.

Back when I still believed in the government,

along with Santa Claus and binary systems.

When are you getting in the private sector, Aug?

You're wasting away in municipal filtration. A cog in the machine.

Time to get out.

You're right. I should get out.

I have a friend.

Guy's a tech trillionaire in New Zealand. He's bailing on the whole thing.

"Bailing"? What do you mean?

Well, planet's unlivable clearly. So, he and his wife signed up to digitize.

Oh, I've heard of it.

- You upload yourself or something. - Mm-hmm.

And they store you in the cloud until the planet heals itself.

Whatever that means. Uh, blue skies, clear lakes, breathable air.

At which point, they magically reanimate you

into this decarbonized utopia in a body of your choice.

Ugh. Are people really signing up for this nonsense?

People will sign up for anything. Moon colony, teleportation.

Nobody ever went broke betting on humanity's misguided optimism.

I heard it worked in a dog.

More champagne.

- I think it's kinda cool. - Yeah.

The cloud sounds more interesting than what your generation calls reality.

Okay, I'm sold. What do we bring?

Oh, how does one dress for the cloud?

- Is there room service? How's the view? - Mm-hmm.

Come on. It's not a hotel, it's a storage.

They just put you to sleep.

Well, then I hope it's a very deep sleep,

and when I wake up, I wanna be in a 22-year-old body with 2.5% body fat.

You are fine as you are.

Yeah. Joke all you want.

I, for once, would love to wake up, magically, in a better world.

What makes you think the world's going to get better?

I mean, obviously, the sacrifice that everyone's making.

- The rations, everything-- - Oh.

Human history is the story of one terrible catastrophe after another.

Most created by our own hopelessly incorrigible selfishness.

Well, the problem with beaming into the future is that wherever we go,

we'll have to take us with us.

Mmm.

Would you go?

The technicians arrive in the morning, first thing.

Oh, dear! We'd better get packed.

Oh, I'm honored to be here for your last night on Earth, guys.

How do we celebrate?

We are celebrating.

In fact, perhaps that's exactly what this is tonight.

Uh, a going-away party.

You see? I can be festive.

Mmm, we're not falling for it, old man.

Unless you're suddenly worth in the trillions, and even then,

you can't get on a list.

Yeah.

Fifteen years ago, I invested in a small tech company.

The last one up in Marin before they all went bust.

LifePause.

But--

But nothing you've ever invested in has ever worked out, Auggie.

This did.

Alpha, play LifePause.

Meet Buster, the world's first fully-uploaded being.

Just months ago, Buster was suffering from arthritis,

obesity, depression, and climate fatigue.

Using our groundbreaking neuromapping technology,

scientists were able to map Buster's entire consciousness

and bring the benefits to you.

For a long time, we thought consciousness lived in the brain.

Now we know being alive is a full-body experience.

Our exclusive nanotechnology maps every neuron of the gut,

the heart, the reproductive system, even the vocal cords

through a unique procedure called nanoslicing

to achieve a level of detail heretofore unimaginable.

After a consciousness is encoded,

it can be uploaded, stored in unconscious state,

even replicated infinite times,

and reactivated at any point in a pristine physical vessel of your choice.

Once this technology becomes widely available,

anyone who cares about our planet will digitize.

It's the only way to completely erase your carbon consumption

and experience the full wonders of our restored ecosystems

when you wake up.

Welcome to the "Same you, better world."

LifePause See you tomorrow

Stop! Stop this insanity.

Really, Auggie? It was funny at first, but you've taken it too far.

I told you, this is not a joke.