American Dad!

Now we're going to throw it to our local theater critic,

Tony Tonington. Tony?

Mrs. Tyler's second-grade play,

"H Is For Horses,"

is the kind of dinner theater dreck

you might expect from some flyover town,

not Langley Falls.

I'd rather have ass-tearing diarrhea than...

Damn it, Tony, shut the hell up!

I have just learned the "Dinner Party Killer,"

the mysterious man who shows up at dinner parties

and systematically kills everyone in attendance,

has struck again.

When Shelly Jenkins invited friends over for dinner,

she had no idea her fondue party

would soon become a "fon-death" party.

"Fon-death."

Stupid.

Ah, maybe you should cancel your dinner party, Franny?

Absolutely not!

I've been looking forward to this for months.

I'm not about to let it get ruined by some dumb-ass mass murderer.

What's the likelihood he even knows we're having a party?

And, speaking of dinner parties, Francine,

I'll see you tonight at yours.

416 Cherry Street, Langley Falls, 23655.

Please take all your tampons out of the downstairs guest bathroom.

I don't like finding them when I'm snooping around.

Guests should be arriving any minute, Klaus.

How we looking?

Chef Klaus got your back, girl!

I don't want to brag, but the last place I worked had three Michelin tires.

I knew I didn't need to hire a fancy catering company.

All right, Klaus. You've got this.

Everything timed out to the second.

No margin for error.

Preheat oven? How the do I do that?

Francine, I'm going to have to decline your invitation to the party.

I just found out Hayley and Steve are going

and I hate talking to them.

Don't worry, I made a seating chart.

You're next to Lewis.

Lewis, huh? Fine, I'll go.

But if Hayley or Steve try to talk to me,

I'm going to give you a very subtle signal to bail me out.

Like this... Aaaaaaah!

So stay alert.

Damn, Fran.

You've got this dinner party on lock.

Seating chart, nice china and...

Is that an aged Caciocavallo podolico cheese?

What did you do with the cheese, Roger?

Ha-ha, I switched it out

with a cave aged bleu from the Pyrenees.

Can you imagine if you were telling everyone it was.

Caciocavallo? You would have looked so stupid!

Roger, can we take one night off

from the pranks and the meddling?

I want my party to be perfect.

Fine, I'll behave.

I swear on the Good Book.

That's "The Pelican Brief."

I'm sorry, great book.

The guests are arriving. Just one final touch.

Every dinner party should have at least one conversation piece.

Who's going to talk about a chandelier?

You. Right now.

Pew!

Would anyone like to try my signature cocktail?

It'll knock your ass out.

Hi! My wife gave me a list of things

I'm not supposed to talk about at the party.

Oh, no! The list is on the list.

Klaus, we're about ready for those appetizers.

Coming right up.

, I am so in the weeds.

You cheat your way through one season of "Master Chef, Jr."

and you think you can cook anything.

Got to admit, all this talk of a dinner party killer

made me nervous about a dinner party killer.

Oh, yeah, I think I read something about that on the news.

We don't have to worry about that

because I only invited our oldest and dearest friends.

Speaking of.

Colonel Withersby!

Good evening.

Sorry I'm late.

There's a dark storm closing in,

so I brought all the fixings for Dark & Stormys.

Uncle Colonel, you're here!

It's not a Smith family function until the Colonel shows up.

I can't remember the last time I came over to the Smiths'

and the Colonel wasn't in attendance.

He's been to every Smith Fourth of July bash I've been to.

Not just the Fourth, there's been nary an Easter

or Passover at the Smith house

without the good Colonel showing up.

Three cheers for the Colonel.

Hip, hip, hooray!

Colonel, good to see you.

I hope your investments in the Sahara are holding up.

Tuttle.

You people still hang out with Tuttle?

He's on fire.

It's early and the Colonel is already on fire.

Okay, Colonel, phone in the bag.

Rachael Ray says cell phones will kill your dinner party.

I don't carry a cell phone,

but I will give you my cigar cutter and my iPod Touch.

Now, why don't we head to the dining room for the first...

Uh-oh, what's happening?

Oh, no! Where'd he go?

Where'd who go?

Really? None of you see it?

See what?

Okay, everyone look around, get a good feel for the room,

maybe take an extra look at where Jeff is.

Everyone see it? Right here, Jeff? Good.

Uh-oh! What's happening?

- Hey, Jeff's gone. - Yes, thank you.

Oh, my God! It's the dinner party killer.

Damn it, Roger! You promised.

First, Jeff disappears, and now a theremin

shows up out of nowhere?

The plot thickens.

Isn't this fun?

Jeff's gone and we have to figure out who did it?

Roger, no one wants to play your stupid game.

I didn't take Jeff.

It could have been any one of you.

- Roger! - That's not supposed to happen.

Tuttle is missing.

Roger, enough!

I - I didn't do this!

I didn't take Tuttle.

I took Jeff, but not Tuttle.

I'll prove it.

Look, he's fine.

Hey, guys, Roger said I have to stay in the closet

because I'm dead. Do I get to be alive, now?

- Sorry, babe. - It's okay.

I've got my animal crackers and my bathroom bucket.

Now do you believe me?

No, all you've proven is that you definitely did take Jeff.

I think our boy has got the Mumbai madness.

We have two options: Throw him in the galleys

or bleed it out of him.

Great idea, Colonel.

Let's lock him in the basement.

You've got to believe me, I didn't do this.

None of us are safe.

Roger, I'm done letting you meddle with my dinner party.

Okay, I admit, I was meddling.

I'm a hardcore meddle-head.

But I didn't take Tuttle.

Please don't put me in the basement,

that's where the scary furnace is.

Colonel.

Aah!

Oh, hello, furnace.

I see your grille still looks like a super scary, evil face.

Okay! Let's get this DP... Dinner Party... back on track.

- Who wants mini quiches? - Mini quiches?

The sun has gone down, Mother.

I've got to find something to defend myself with.

Lead pipe, wrench, candlestick, Steve's diary?

That should be juicy.

"I have evidence that Toshi is posing as a doctor

and groping his patients."

Make an appointment with Dr. Toshi.

Oh, hey, you guys finally come to your senses

and decide to let me out?

Who are you, by the way? I can't tell with that ski mask.

Hey, you've got that lead pipe. Ow!

What was that for? Ow! Why are you doing this?

We have a killer to catch. Ow!

Okay, okay, this is starting to not be funny.

Ow, ow, ow!

Damn it, it's funny again. You got me.

Roger.

Roger, are you okay?

Uh, what... what happened?

Did we all sleep together?

No! The lights went out again and now Greg is missing.

Told you it wasn't me. There's a maniac on the loose.

We have to work together to get out of this alive.

Leave Steve behind, there's no time.

I'm already back on my feet.

Push him back down. We've got to work together.

To the car!

Stay inside! Leave this to the professionals.

Looks like we're stuck here.

The cell phones are gone.

We can't leave. We can't call for help.

If we hear a cool song, we can't Shazam it.

We're trapped. We're all at the mercy of the "Dinner Party Killer."

Unless one of us is the "Dinner Party Killer."

Oh, God, it could be any of us.

How well does anyone know anyone?

Well, it's not me. I'm a nice boy.