Mr. Magoo

Oh, Magoo, you've done it again.

Another day in the can.

Good night, Mrs Wonderbottom.

Ugliest hairdo I've ever seen.

Hold the elevator! Aha!

Express elevator.

Elevator with a view!

Now that's what I call an express.

Good Godfrey! Earthquake!

Don't panic, everyone.

We've got enough canned food here to cover any emergency.

That's better.

Carry on, boys.

Parking lot. Mm-hmm.

Whoopsie.

By George, somebody fix the lights...

before anyone trips.

The escalator to the parking lot.

Such sophistication!

- Good night, Henry. - Good night.

Right turn only.

Road hog!

Blasted potholes!

The checkered flag?

Magoo, you, you speed demon, you!

You've still got it.

El Nino's back.

Oh, Magoo, you've done it again.

And tonight, Quincy Magoo, the canned vegetable king...

will dedicate the new museum wing he has donated to the city.

The Magoo Rotunda will house a travelling exhibit...

of the treasures of Kuristan...

including the rarest of all rubies, the Star of Kuristan.

Treat her gently, young fella.

Check underneath. I think there's something rattling there.

Yes, you dropped the keys, my boy.

It's the most precious ruby in the world.

- Lovely. - It's just gorgeous.

- It's exquisite. - Exquisite.

No. Actually it's corundum.

That's an aluminum oxide.

Okay, don't take my word for it.

Exquisite is an adjective, not an element.

All right. If you're so smart, how come Mr. Cloquet told me...

to watch you like a hawk?

Cloquet said that?

Why is it that someone always seems to burn the rumaki?

Maybe you should see another eye doctor.

Waldo, Hiram has been my optometrist since I was a small boy in knee pants.

He's like 2,000 years old. All his other patients are dead.

You can't hold that against him.

But he's still making appointments with them.

Trust me, you need a second opinion.

Oh, my gosh!

- Would you, would you look at that! - What?

Wait, don't look. Don't look.

- What? - She's coming this way.

Mr. Magoo?

I am Stacey Sampanahoditra of the Kuristani foreign office.

Oh. This is my nephew Waldo.

Waldo Magoo. It is an honor.

Oh.

Uh, you'll have to forgive him sometimes.

He gets like that, lost in thought. Quite a scholar, you know.

Graduated with a large class.

Isn't that right, Waldo? Waldo?

Waldo!

Yeah. I-I, I w-went there to college.

Oh.

Uh, Waldo, why don't you invite, uh, Stacey to our opera tomorrow night?

I would be most honored, sir.

Stacey...

will you join us for the opera tomorrow night?

It's a, uh, benefit performance.

Uh, we're doing excerpts from the Norsemen saga.

I look forward to it. Please excuse me.

I must greet diplomats.

That's a very attractive young lady.

But I'm, I'm such a fool. I-I tried to offer her a snack.

Oh, Waldo, don't be so hard on yourself. Cupid makes fools of us all.

And now, as curator of this museum...

it is my pleasure to present our benefactor...

a man of great vision, Quincy Magoo.

- Step right this way, sir. - Ah, well, thank you, thank you.

Ah, well, may, uh, may all of the exhibits in this hall...

chime with the light of human knowledge.

My dear, thank you. Thank you.

Hey!

Look out! Watch out!

Oh, yes.

Great Scott!

What is this, indoor fireworks?

What a wonderful touch.

Excuse me.

Or a blackout.

I should inform the power company here.

Get that fixed, and get these lights back on.

Hello down here. Public telephone.

Oh, what... Excuse me, sir. We have an emergency...

Great Scott!

We have an injured man here. Bandaged from head to foot.

Help. Some assistance, please.

And whoever did it has stolen the telepho...

God! They gave me a bad mask.

Okay. Go.

I gotta watch her like a hawk.

Morgan!

You just, uh, you just hang on. I'll get you some medical attention.

You stay right here. No, you're in no condition...

Oh, well. How many times must I tell you?

Stay back in the booth, man.

I'll take care of him.

I'll be back. I'll get some help or maybe find a telephone.

Freeze! Drop the gun.

Turn around.

Yes, sure. Must be a phone out there somewhere.

Morning, Angus.

Avast, Angus. Are you ready to cast off?

Waldo? What are you doing here?

Oh, just cleaning your windshield.

Aha, my boy, you are a prince, but I have a date with a flounder.

- Anchors aweigh. - Anchors aweigh.

Oh, the windshield did need cleaning, huh? Right, Angus?

I don't think I've seen it this clear since 1956.

Well, now that you're here, we'd better inform the police.

Orders, U.S. State Department.

This incident is to remain completely under wraps.

Which includes the crazy 9-1-1 call about a bandaged man in the museum.

We substitute a replica of the jewel and...

And we open the exhibit as if nothing has happened.

Hold it. Who the hell are you? And who told the State Department?

I did. They said they would send two of their very best operatives.

Gustave Anders, CIA.

I'm in charge of this investigation.

Chuck Stupak, FBI, and I'm in charge of this investigation.

The CIA has no jurisdiction on American soil.

This could very well become an international incident.

Not if you don't get in my way, fancy pants.

Hmm?

Oh.

I don't get it. There's nothing in the papers.

It's a trap.

They're trying to lull us into a false sense of security...

and then bust us when we make a careless move.

We'll never make it to Cloquet's. They're onto us, Luanne.

- I can feel it in my... - Morgan, that's yesterday's paper.

Oh.

Nothing like the old sea air to clean out the pipes.

Huh? Right, Angus?

The sun is a little hot. Time to apply the old Ban de Soleil.

There we go.

Oh. A very refreshing, minty fragrance.

Ah, the French. They think of everything.

What's that? The old fog rolling in, thick as pea soup?

Not my pea soup, mind you, but maybe one of those other brands.

Bob, why steal the Star for your boss, Cloquet, and get peanuts for it...

when he can turn around and auction it off for millions?

Why not auction it off ourselves?

That way we get millions and each other.

Me and you?

I could take you to places you've never been before.

I've never been to Toronto.

I know a little cosy bed-and-breakfast place in Toronto...

but we could skip the breakfast part.

Come on, Angus. We won't let a little fog stop us, huh?

You rotten seagulls!

You con-sarned buzzards, you!

Uncivilized behaviour. I'd never do anything like that to you.

I'm gonna have to get this dry-cleaned now.

Blast your...

Ho-ho-ho. I've got a strike.

Well, shiver my timbers! It's a lunker!

Just call me Ishmael.

It's Moby Dick!

Why, look at that... Look at...

Look at that, Angus. It's huge.

He was a big one, Angus.

Just look at the size of those, uh, uh, pants.

Well, I'd say we were in the Bermuda Triangle...

but we're nowhere near Bermuda.

I'll just play it safe and head for shore.

Well, Angus, here we are in safe harbor once again.

Well, an escalator to the top.

How swank.

Must be a yacht club.

Angus?

Angus, where are you, boy?

Well, hello, Angus. Come on there, fella.

We believe Magoo created a diversion while his accomplices stole the jewel.

But why? Mr. Magoo is a very wealthy man.

Are you sure about that? People do eat a lot more fresh food these days.

Okay, we don't collar Magoo. We put him under surveillance.

But this is absurdity. I'm to be his guest at the opera tonight.

Great! You can be our inside person.

That is, if it's all right with the FBI.

So, Magoo has the Star of Kuristan.

But it was Luanne's fault!

She double-crossed us.

I shouldn't have hired her.

But she's the only one capable of stealing the Star.