Father and Scout

Come on!

Let's go, let's go!

Get them, Michael!

Go, Michael.

Ian, get to the ball! Alec, run!

If you won't run,

get off the field!

Can you believe he's humiliating a kid?

It's not the world cup. They're just kids!

Shh!

Kid probably didn't want to play.

Honey, look. It's Michael.

Yeah!

Yes! Yes!

Get him, Michael!

Get him but be careful!

Go, Michael! Go! Go!

Go, Michael.

Son, let the other boys get hurt, too.

Get it!

Yeah, yeah, yeah! He's open!

I sense an injury developing.

Go and get it!

Hurry up!

Hurry!

Come on! Get it!

Michael, you can get him!

Uh!

Hurry up!

Come on! Oh! Oh, foul!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Are you o.K., baby?

How many fingers is this?

Three.

Are you o.K.?

He hit me in the ribs.

Get back in there

and get even, all right?

What do you think I should do, dad?

I think you should stay here and catch your breath.

It's just a stupid game.

I was trying to protect him.

Oh, come on.

He's shooting baskets now?

Yeah, he's upset.

He shoots baskets when he's upset.

See, this is what I hate about sports.

A few kids feel great.

Everybody else feels like garbage.

It's not just sports.

You need to spend more time with him.

I just took him to the movies yesterday.

I mean guy stuff.

Oh, boy.

This isn't about going camping again, is it?

I see him on the playground.

He lacks confidence around the boys.

Donna, he's just like me.

He's artistic.

Not everybody's cut out

for that Steven seagal stuff.

There is a place in the world

for sensitive men, you know--

Michelangelo, Da Vinci, Mozart, bill moyers.

We've all made our contribution

without killing an animal.

I just think he needs

more male-oriented activities

to boost his self-esteem.

Otherwise, he could end up like...

Like me?

I didn't say that.

You were thinking it.

I was trying not to.

So, what are you saying?

I'm failing him as a father?

Oh, of course not.

You're a wonderful father

in most ways.

You took him miniature golfing

15 times last year.

In a couple sundays,

I'll take him in the mountains,

and we'll go hiking.

That would be a start. Good.

I got plenty of male animal in me.

Oh, you do?

I've demonstrated that to you.

Ha ha ha!

Mmm.

Talk to him during dinner.

Tell him something to make him feel better.

You can count on me.

You know who the biggest sports fans are?

Orthopedic surgeons.

They make a fortune sewing these guys up.

One shot in the knees, and the guy's finished--

2 minutes of glory, 40 years of agony.

Thanks.

Want some more?

No.

Why don't you show him that letter, hmm?

What letter?

You and Michael have been invited

to go on a camping trip.

Camping trip?

Mm-hmm.

Who would invite me on a camping trip?

My school.

Your entire school is going camping?

No. Just his class.

The boys and their fathers

have been invited to go to Catalina island

for the weekend to camp buffalo valley.

No kidding.

Mmm. It's called a dad and lad weekend.

Isn't that cute?

Oh, that's adorable.

They'll sleep in tents.

Wow--tents.

I guess you want to go on this.

Of course he wants to go.

He doesn't want to be the only boy who doesn't go.

I was asking Michael.

All the other kids are going.

With their fathers.

It would look really bad

if Michael didn't show up.

Right.

It would be terrible

if you were the only kid that didn't go.

The other fathers are going?

All of them.

Well, then we'll go, too.

This isn't a psych?

No. No, not at all. It'll be fun.

I've never slept in a tent before.

Yeah, and you know,

I hear Catalina island is beautiful.

Movie stars go there.

Hey, we'll do it-- rock-'n'-roll.

This is going to be so cool, dad.

I'm going to go call all my friends.

I'm going to die over there. You know that.

Do me a favor.

Could you pack my aspirin,

insect repellent, and allergy medicine

and a cyanide pill

in case things get bad?

It's two nights on Catalina island.

Two nights where I won't get

a wink of sleep.

I get claustrophobic inside a sleeping bag.

Inside a sleeping bag.

That's why I wouldn't go to Woodstock.

No sleep-- that won't kill you.

I really feel like a wuss.

You might enjoy this.

I spent one day in camp

my entire childhood.

I know. And a bully ate your lunch

and stole your pocketknife.

Your mother said you didn't have to go back.

Your father was too busy drinking to care,

and that's why you're the bundle of neuroses

that you are today.

Help me. I am not whining.

Actually, I'm grateful

for my neuroses, you know.

I'm a writer.

I depend on traumatic childhood memories

in order to be creative.

Times like this, though,

I wish I was more like your brother--

brain-dead and devoid of emotion.

I'm ready!

All right. Me, too-- raring to go.

I'd rather get a prostate exam

than go on this trip.

I hate that about myself.

I'm working on liking myself better.

I'm working on everything.

Well, your father survived the korean war.

I'm sure you'll survive this.

My father won the korean war single-handedly.

I wish he were alive

to take Michael to camp.

He'd jump out of the plane to get there.

Go!

All right, Donna,

if they medevac me back,

take me to ucla, not some clinic

with people who have tuberculosis.

You got it, stud.

Catalina island, here we come.

Man, here we go.

You have fun, o.K.?

Buckle up.

Bye, honey.

Why did they have to pick a Friday night