Watson

Dr. Watson. You were the best friend

Sherlock Holmes ever had. Holmes!

Three men

went over the waterfall.

Yourself, Sherlock Holmes

and the man we'd been chasing.

James Moriarty.

You've had a knock on the head.

A traumatic brain injury.

Sherlock Holmes funded a clinic for you to run.

We have a new case.

Who wants to amaze us with their insights?

Shinwell Johnson.

We're not to be ignored.

An order arrives, an order is executed.

You are a better doctor now, John.

But the "old us" is never coming back

Dr. Lubbock, you have had

your left hand in the same spot

this entire meeting.

Oh, my God! Why didn't you tell us?

I can celebrate.

Sorry, I didn't mean to snoop.

It's okay, babe.

Soon.

The signal-to-noise exercise is

one of the most important things we do.

Okay, so you keep saying,

except it always turns out to be a waste of time.

That's exactly why it's so valuable.

There's more noise in the world than there is signal.

Three cases with some very interesting particulars

came into UHOP within the past 72 hours.

In the Signal-to-Noise Exercise,

we determine which of these are of diagnostic interest--

None. The answer, without fail, is none.

So far, the answer has

always been none. Correct. So far.

Ellen Samuelson.

She came to visit her newborn grandson yesterday

when she started feeling faint.

The nurse went to check her blood sugar

and realized Grandma Samuelson had no fingerprints.

Closer inspection of the grandson revealed

he shared the same condition.

They should be a cat burglar team.

Hold that thought.

Consider Vaughn Timms.

Mr. Timms has been the victim of frequent bone fractures.

Most recently, he fractured his wrist

opening a pickle jar.

What kind of pickles? Does it matter?

Let's table that issue for now.

There remains the matter

of William Betancourt.

At 11:29 last night,

he came into the ER with an impaled tongue.

The patient was using a floss threader.

So, what's signal?

And what's noise?

The presence of physical findings

in both the grandmother and the grandson suggests

an inherited genetic trait.

Yes, it is inherited; however, it's also trivial.

Adermatoglyphia. Noise.

Why are all these markers green?

The recurring fractures are consistent

with Osteogenesis Imperfecta.

Yes, except Vaughn Timms doesn't have blue sclera.

He has a dangerous exposure

that occurs with an alarming frequency

among men of his generation.

Pickleball.

All of his X-rays have been performed

within the hours of 9:00 and 11:00 a.m.

The first time that you can reserve a public court is eight.

It's a stimulating workout.

Okay, so then,

why didn't he just tell the truth?

Because he was playing with a woman who isn't his wife.

Very good, Dr. Derian.

Glad you decided to join in.

That leaves us with Mr. Betancourt.

Dr. Lubbock.

You've seen something like this before.

Maybe. I-I-I don't know.

It's the texture...

You're right to look closer.

The lesions are concerning for Cowden Syndrome.

Which is...?

A genetic predisposition to cancer.

Not only is your risk

of getting cancer higher,

but you're more likely to get it at a younger age

and more than one type.

This patient needs screening that should be routine,

but nobody caught his Cowden's.

Who wants to handle this?

Adam and...

Ingrid.

Track down the patient,

set up the screenings.

And you?

I'm on the Case of the Green Markers.

No, I do, I do see the problem, guv.

It's just the green ink. It's-- it offends the senses.

As you've said. At length.

You've made inquiries? Insistent inquiries.

It seems that the budget for office supplies is covered

by the hospital itself, and not the money

that Holmes set aside to fund the clinic.

Someone in brass has

put word out:

we're to have green ink only.

Now, I could buy new ones with petty cash.

No.

I appreciate the initiative.

I'll work this case on my end.

Good to see you feeling spicy again, guv.

Wait...

You're not Mr. Betancourt's assistant?

His second assistant, got it.

Um... Can I talk to whichever one handles

important matters vital to his health?

Yes, I'll hold.

I think I'm on hold with Number One.

Earth to Sasha.

Oh. Hi, there.

Am I speaking with Mr. Betancourt's first assistant?

My name is Dr. Adam Croft. You good?

Sure, I'll hold.

It's like that tongue put you into a trance.

Do y'all ever think about your cadaver?

You mean, from med school?

Sure.

You do not think about the cadaver you dissected

in anatomy lab.

I do, too.

He donated his body to science.

It's the first person that you cut into.

- You tend to remember it. - No.

You want to be thought of as the kind of person

who appreciates the sacrifice.

You don't actually appreciate it.

Tell us what he looked like, then.

That is private.

I will say he was a beautiful man.

Mr. Betancourt.

We need to have a conversation about your tongue.

Sorry. Now, how long is this gonna take?

- Mr. Betancourt-- - Oh, Call Me Bill.

Bill-- No.

"Call Me Bill." Like, call me "Call Me Bill."

The lawyer from those billboards. You're Call Me Bill.

Mr. Betancourt, we just informed you

that you have a genetic predisposition to cancer.

A few hours for screenings doesn't feel like a huge ask--

Wait, that... Sorry.

This is the phone I actually do have to answer.

Call Me Bill.

No, Margaret, that's not what I said.

I love the way you work Watson, by the way.

He cooks up a training exercise you think is silly,

and you just say, "No, thank you."

Look, I'm just protecting my time.

Stephens and Sasha don't "protect their time."

You're his favorite. You get to keep him on his toes.

Okay, I'm here.

You have me for the day,

uh, but there's, there's just one thing--

Oh.

Margaret, how did you get this number?

I'm not Watson's favorite. Oh, yes, you are.

Um, you have me, I'm all yours, but, uh,

you can't put me under because

I'm gonna be rolling calls all day long.

Well, the first procedure doesn't require sedation.

But most patients might find it pretty uncomfortable.

Oh, that, that--

Call Me Bill.

William Betancourt stayed awake

during his own colonoscopy?

William Betancourt goes by...

Call Me Bill.

From the billboards? That's Call Me Bill's colon?

And not only did he stay awake,

I'm pretty sure he settled a case.

Are you seeing this?

There is no way these growths are benign.

Schedule an OR.

Tumor spread is worse than it appeared on imaging.

We'll have to proceed with tender dissection

around the liver.

He's tachy at 150

and his BP's dropping.

I must've nicked the IVC.

I need more suction.

I can't see anything on the field.

Lubbock, you're gonna have

to get into that cadaver eventually.