Friends

Out of all of us, who do you think will get married next?

Probably Monica and Chandler.

Could I have a pack of Newport Lights?

We don't sell cigarettes, but they do across the street.

That'd be great. Thanks.

Melissa Worbert. I don't think I have the energy for this.

Oh, my God! Ray-Ray Greene?

What's up?!

You've been MIA for seven sorority newsletters.

What's up with you?

Why don't I tell you over here?

So last I heard you were gonna get married.

Poor Ray-Ray.

Oh, no. It's all good.

- I actually work at Ralph Lauren. - Shut up!

I will not. I'm the divisional head of men's sportswear.

Shut up more! Are you friends with Ralph?

- Oh, please. - Are you?

No.

We have to have dinner. What are you doing tomorrow?

- Tomorrow. I don't know. - You're having dinner with me.

Shut up.

I've gotta go. This has been so great.

Oh, there you are. You're a bad man for giving me these.

- So listen, just call me. Here's my card. - Oh, wow, thanks.

- You're in real estate? - No, that's an old card.

I got out of that to do something...

...where I could help people and make a difference.

What do you do now?

I'm a party planner.

- I'll see you tomorrow. - Okay.

Look who's back. It's Ray-Ray.

That was my friend, Melissa, from college.

She seems really, really fun!

She's actually sweet, and we used to be very close.

Wait a minute. She's not the one who you...?

Who you what? Who you what?

- Yes. - Wow!

Wow, what? Who you what?

Oh, it's not a big deal.

They were lovers.

- What? - What?

No, we weren't. It was nothing.

It was one night, senior year, and we went to a party...

...had a lot of sangria, and you know, ended up...

...kissing for a bit.

So that's two of my wives.

Where are you going?

To bring her back here! Ross, get the sangria!

The One With Rachel's Big Kiss

So this is where the band is. And here's the bar.

And all these pins have people's names on them. Rach, here you are.

Why don't we just put me with a Manhattan in my hand...

...talking to the cute bartender.

These pins aren't for playing, are they?

The red are my guests, and the blue are yours.

This is so sad. I only have like 10 pins.

Chandler, relax. It's not a contest.

Certainly not a close one.

Hey, Rach.

Stop picturing it!

I think that's it. The seating chart is done. This is our wedding.

They all look like they're having fun don't they?

So where are my parents gonna be?

Well, if this is the wedding hall...

...then your parents would be over here at home in Queens.

They're not invited? Oh, no, they're gonna be crushed!

Why would they think they're invited?

You got me. I don't...

- Joey! - Look, I thought parents were coming.

Your parents are coming. Chandler's are coming.

Ross' parents are coming.

Ross' parents are my parents.

Well, see, parents are coming.

- We should invite them. - You just want more blue pins.

Well, this is just sad.

All right. Maybe I can fit them in if I just do some rearranging.

Rachel may have to sit at the bar.

That is not a problem.

- Maybe you'll order a little sangria. - Get out of here!

These are our tuxedos. If you like anything, we can make a deal.

Anything at all. But these are the three that Monica pre-approved.

Thanks a lot for hooking me up.

And I want you to know that I want you to attend our wedding as my guest.

I'm Monica's maid of honor.

Okay, don't try to blue-pin me.

- Well, these look nice. - They are nice.

When celebrities are done with them, they send them back.

- You mean like for award shows? - Some of them.

They've been down the red carpet with people yelling:

"Who are you wearing? You look fabulous!"

Might I suggest watching a little more ESPN...

...and a little less E!

Okay. Who wore those?

- Well, this one's Tom Brokaw. - Not bad.

This one is Paul O'Neill.

Who's that?

He plays for the Yankees. Seriously, ESPN.

Just once in a while. Have it on in the background.

- This one was Pierce Brosnan. - Pierce Brosnan?

Are you serious?

007?

This is James Bond's tux? I have to get married in James Bond's tux.

It's a pretty cool tux.

It's not just that. I would be England's most powerful weapon.

A jet-setting heartbreaker on Her Majesty's secret service.

A man who fears no one, with a license to kill.

Would Monica let me wear this?

We should really learn how to play the real way.

I like our way.

Chess!

- Nice move. - Yeah.

I hooked Ross and Chandler up with tuxedos. Do you need one?

No, I'm not wearing a tux.

- What are you gonna wear? - Multi-colored robes.

And maybe a hat.

- Does Monica know about this? - No.

Can I please be there when you tell her?

You want to go to a movie tonight?

I'm having dinner with Melissa.

Can I come?

I won't talk. You'll just hear my video camera.

- What? What's going on? - Can I tell her?

Do you want what happened, or Joey's lewd version?

- Joey's. - Okay.

I had this college friend...

...and I made the mistake of telling Joey that one time...

...she and I, you know, kissed a little bit.

Yeah, I'm sure that happened.

- It did. - Sure.

Hey. It happened.

It was senior year. It was after the Sigma Chi luau...

...and Melissa and I got very drunk.

And we ended up kissing.

For several minutes.

Which means she had a couple spritzers and a peck on the cheek.

Why are you taking this away from me?

Why is it so hard for you to believe?

Okay. I just didn't know that you were a lesbian.

I'm not saying that I'm a lesbian. I'm just saying that this happened.

It just seems pretty wild. And you're so...

...vanilla.

Vanilla? I'm not vanilla. I do lots of crazy things.

I mean, I got drunk and married in Vegas.

To Ross.

If you don't believe me...

...just come with me to dinner tonight and she'll tell you.

Okay. Because I can't picture it.

You should get inside my head.

Guess what I got for your wedding?

A freakishly thin date with a hanger for a head?

Rachel hooked me up with a tux. But not just any tux.

Batman's tux!

- What? - That's right.

Made expressly for Val Kilmer, and worn by him in the hit film...

...that Batman film he was in.

You can't wear that. I'm wearing the famous tux.

- James Bond's tux! - So?

So? If you wear that, it'll make mine less special.

You need something to make this day special?

Hello! You have the most special thing of all.

You are marrying the woman you love.

Don't take away my cool thing. Pretty please?

"Pretty please?" Not very 007.

If you were getting married, I'd never do anything to upset you.

- You slept with my sister. - That was pretty 007.

Okay, good, you're here. All right, I figured it out.

I'm gonna take 2 tables of 8, add your parents...

...and make them into 3 tables of 6.

And I called the caterer. We are good to go!