Monsters vs. Aliens

Oh, yeah, it's freaky.

1x24 - Driven to Madness

Eyes and ears, people.

I've called you here for a very special presentation

from our resident genius.

Wow! This is unexpected.

I-I didn't prepare any formal remarks, but I'm happy to wing it.

I meant the other genius.

- Greetings! - Oh. Of course.

As part of my earth studies research,

I have made some interesting observations.

- Great. - Hey! Be nice.

Specifically, your ground vehicles are shockingly slow,

which is why I created the X-25.

Ah!

If awesome married incredible and then had a beautiful baby,

that baby would be called... X-25!

Wah-hoo-hoo-hoo!

That's, uh... yeah, I was just saying...

that is one sweet ride.

So sweet your teeth will fall out, which is exactly

what happened to the first guy who tried to drive it.

It's too fast.

Still, the top brass want the X-25 fully checked out.

So I need a guinea pi...

I mean, test driver of the nonhuman variety.

Question.

Does this so-called "test driver" need to know how to "drive."

Yes, B.O.B., and you do not know how to drive.

- I'm out. - General, I was hots for this job.

Make us proud, fish man.

General Monger, I must object. The car is alien technology.

Precisely, I am the logical choice for this task.

You?

Your tiny feet wouldn't even reach the pedals.

Hey! I created it.

For this job, I nominate...

I will drive to honor and glory.

How long was she up there?

- Two days. - She likes to make an entrance.

I already made my road trip mix, so...

Ping!

Missy, you just opened up a can of carbonated Link.

Ah, good. We make the combat.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You both want to drive the X-25?

Take it to the rampage room. Winner drives. Loser cries.

You will be put through a series of tests

that will push you to the edge mentally and physically.

Whoever proves they've got the right stuff, pilots the car.

- You will eat failure. - Not while these gills suck air.

Woot!

As a fellow contestant, I, too, wish to engage in trash talk.

I will win more points than either of you

by a statistically significant amount.

Hey! I created it! Wait!

Oh, the youth and their sense of entitlement, right?

X-25 candidates, the stress test begins... now!

Begins when again? Let me know when you're ready to start.

I thought we were to be having contest, not the baby pampering.

It's like fire moon of Scorcherin.

- Me like! - Come on, General.

Tell me you've got more than this.

Please, I was frozen in a block of ice for 20,000 years. This is nothing.

I -I, too, am mocking this test.

You want more?

Fine, hotshots. Show me agility!

Stamina!

Endurance!

- Concentration. - Hmm...

Sense of whimsy.

What are we being again?

Magic pixies. I think.

- Looks like we got us a tie. - Not for long.

The next event is swimming.

Game, set, match! Link will crush her.

You're okay on land, but agua es mi casa.

It means I live in the water or, technically, that my house is water.

Anyway, you're going down!

I hope you swim the water better than you trash the talk.

Ready, set...

Huh, how braggy he was, I thought Link would be less drown-y.

He usually is. He's a natural.

Ugh, this is pathetic... suspiciously pathetic.

Ah!

Quite a contest, eh?

Both: Go, Link! Go, Link!

Ah, thought for certain the swamp monkey would do better.

Go, Sta'abi.

Swim! Swim! Swim!

Go, Link! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!

- No! - Don't have a stroke!

- Miss Link is crushed. - Alien power, huzzah!

Sta'abi wins. Somebody fish Link out of the drink.

How? I just...

I don't... I'm a fish man.

I swim... like a fish... man.

So Sta'abi gets to drive the world's fastest car.

So what?

Okay, okay. Forget I said that.

Look, it was a fluke. You know what you need to do?

Get back on that horse and swim.

Horse and swim? You're sure you want to go with that?

It's a sea horse, all right?

Point is, Link needs to get back in the water.

Right. Go, Link!

- He's doing it! - He's sinking, B.O.B.

Which, if you think about it, is just swimming down.

Hey, way to go, pal. Nobody sinks like you.

Swimming any other direction would be better.

Don't listen to the doubters. You keep right on sinking.

He's down as far as he can go, B.O.B.

You did it, buddy! You hit rock bottom.

Yay, Link!

The X-25 is one pricey piece of hardware.

Last thing we want is to end up parking it in the side of a mountain.

So just light her up, cruise at top speed

for a couple of seconds, and then shut her down.

- Don't get fancy out there. - I never get fancy.

- Why do I have to be here? - It's called being a good sport.

Don't want to be a good sport.

Sta'abi might wipe out and crash the X-25,

explosions, balls of flame. You wouldn't want to miss that.

Really? You think that might happen?

Oh, there's a chance it will. 0.8%.

I like those odds.

I think these things are broken.

Ah. Much better.

Booster boots, activate.

I believe I am now sized appropriately for the task.

General, might I make one suggestion?

No, but I got a feeling that ain't gonna stop you.

I am merely demonstrating the best candidate for this job is me.

After all, I created...

Aliens!

Hey, guys, do you know Sta'abi looks just like Sqweep?

What? Sqweep's in that car?

No, Sta'abi looks just like Sqweep. Aren't you listening?

Sqweep, you're not authorized for this mission!

Power down A.S.A.P!

Sorry, General.

I seem to have made an unfortunate miscalculation.

I cannot stop it.

Monsters are on it, General.

This is an alien situation, and aliens will handle it.

Latching onto the vehicle with my telekinetic powers, I simply will...

Ooh! Stop! Stop! I order you to...

Ungh!

Sqweep's coming back!

I got this!

Oh, man! Got the wrong alien.

I thank you regardless.

For honor and glory.

Ungh!

Agh!

Given the fixed speed of the X-25,

I could calculate an intersection point.

- The slingshot express. - Seriously?

A kid's life is on the line. Slingshot me!

Agh!

Now!

Link!

Hey, kid. What's up?

Whoo!

If you're attempting a rescue, please hurry!

Right. Sorry.

I believe the Earth expression is...

Agh!

Both: Agh!

Ah, fish sticks.

Your failed attempt to save me is appreciated.

Fail...

Ungh.

Not while these gills suck air.