Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach

There's somebody down there. Shh, shh. Shh!

Is he gone yet? Is he gone?

Sir, he's gone. Okay, let's go.

Yo, anybody home?

Shh! Idiot.

Close the door.

- You know what to look for, right? Yeah. No. A light switch?

Please try not to be such an idiot.

Ow!

- I'm okay. Nobody asked.

He's not here.

Who?

- Commissioner Hurst. Of course he's not here.

It's 3:00 in the morning. That's the point.

- Maybe we should have called first. - Proctor.

If I'd wanted the commissioner to watch me while I looked at his files...

...I could have come in during the day and made an appointment.

Wait a minute. You mean we're breaking and entering illegally?

- We are breaking the law? - No, no, no.

We are not breaking the law.

We are merely stretching it a little.

Oh!

It's okay to break the law if you have a good reason...

...like a note from your doctor or mom or something.

We are not breaking the law.

We are stretching it.

Do you get it?

- Uh, not really, sir. - I got a note in my pocket, okay?

Okay. Why didn't you just say that?

Commissioner Hurst...

"Commandant Eric Lassard." Heh.

Well, there he is. Heh.

For years you have kept me from my rightful place...

...as commandant of the police academy.

You always manage to come out on top somehow, don't you, huh?

I know that there is something in this file...

...that is going to help me get the upper hand for a change. Ah.

Who's in there?

Commissioner Hurst?

Uh-- Uh, yes. Who's out there?

Bob the janitor, sir.

Oh, I understand, sir. And I didn't see you here tonight.

I really appreciate that, Bob. Yeah. Thanks a lot, Bob.

- Proctor. - Yes, sir?

This is it! According to these records, Commandant Eric Lassard...

...reached the state's mandatory retirement age last year!

- Ha-ha-ha! - Proctor!

- Don't you see what this means? - No!

Proctor!

This means that Commandant Lassard...

...should have retired from the police academy a year ago. Ah?

Somehow, this information just slipped through.

Well. Well, Well.

I find it my duty as a conscientious police officer...

...to see to it that this file reaches the Personnel Office.

Are we gonna have to break in there too, sir?

Officer Katherine Page.

Thank you, sir.

Officer Carla Grant.

Thank you.

Officer Bill Baker.

Thank you, sir.

Officer Bambi Brandon.

- Thank you, sir. - Thank you.

Officer Kevin Wilson.

And last, but certainly not least, not in any way...

...Officer Thomas Conklin.

Also known as House.

Congratulations!

I'll miss you, class of '88.

Nice.

I've seen a lot of graduating classes.

And let me say that this is one of the very best of them.

Clearly, Commandant Lassard has outdone himself this time.

It's my privilege to announce that Commandant Eric Lassard...

...will be honored as Police Officer of the Decade...

...at this year's National Police Chiefs Convention...

...to be held in Miami Beach.

This academy owes a great debt...

...to the vision of Commandant Lassard...

...which makes what I have to say next even more difficult.

It is with great sadness and regret...

...that I must announce Eric Lassard's retirement...

-...as commandant of this police academy. - Retirement?

Commandant Lassard has reached this state's mandatory retirement age.

A qualified successor will, of course, be chosen.

But the new commandant will have no easy task filling these shoes.

What are we going to do? Kick some butt.

It's just not right. This is so unfair.

I've never seen him like this. - He was always so strong.

- The academy was his strength. - Now he's lost it.

It's just not right.

- Why don't we just shoot somebody? - Ha-ha-ha.

Commandant.

Ah, ah, ah.

- No. He ain't worth it. - Congratulations on your retirement!

I'm sorry, I mean on your award in Miami Beach.

Concerning your retirement, sir...

...I want you to know how much I've enjoyed working with you all these years...

...and how much I hope you enjoy...

...your long overdue rest.

Well, I guess I'll run along and read my book.

Keep in touch, everyone.

[HUMS "THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY" THEME]

They just keep staring at each other. We've got to do something.

I know how you feel, sir. I was ready to toss in the towel too.

But then I met a man who changed my life. That man was you, sir.

He said, "Take what you have, however little...

...and do your best with it."

"Never quit. Never lose hope." That's the Lassard I knew.

And where is that Lassard now?

Right here.

By God, you're right.

I was feeling sorry for myself. No more.

I'm still being honored...

...at the National Police Chiefs Convention in Miami Beach.

Affirmative, sir! - Go there with my head held high.

Yes, sir! - It will be my finest hour!

Duck! Get down!

That's the spirit, sir.

Good shot.

It would make my crowning moment only greater...

...if my loyal graduates could be there to share it with me.

Miami Beach? All that surf, sun and fun?

Then you can meet Nick, my nephew. He's a policeman in Miami Beach.

We'll do it, sir. But only for you.

You have all given me new hope.

Way to go, sir. We're so proud of you.

If I cannot stay, then I'll go out in style.

Miami Beach, get ready.

Get ready for Eric Lassard!

The fish!

It's good to have you back, sir.

- And I can assure you, this academy... Whoa!

...under my administration, will no longer be a source of any embarrassment to you.

- Yes, yes, so you keep telling me. - Sir.

Clean office. My office hasn't been cleaned in a week.

- Janitor quit on me. - Aha.

- Excuse me, sir. - Ahem, commissioner...

...I would like you to look at this plan that I have formulated.

- It restructures the training... - I don't mean to bother you, sir!

...here at the academy.

Harris, you may well be the best man for this position.

You may even wind up as commandant of this academy.

But you sure have a lot to learn about acting like a commandant.

At least Lassard has the respect of his men. Whose respect do you have?

- Commissioner shouldn't have said that. - He's right, Proctor.

I know, sir, but-- Aah!

He still-- He still shouldn't say it.

Oh. No, he's right.

Being qualified just isn't enough.

Now, I know that I was born to be commandant.

It is my destiny. Proctor...

...you and I are going to Miami Beach.

- We are? - Don't you see?

We'll go to Miami Beach and help honor Lassard.

That will show the commissioner what a big man I can be.

Huh? Ha-ha-ha. Proctor!

- Yes, sir. - Get on the phone. Call the airport.

Make a reservation to Miami Beach.

- First class. - VIP.

VIP. I'll impress them from the start.

That's brilliant, sir. Ow!

Hey, Jones, pick up the phone.

Up.

When's Lassard coming back?

I didn't know he was gone.

Municipal airport? This is Lieutenant Proctor...

...of the Metropolitan Police Academy. Captain Harris will be attending...

...the National Police Chiefs Convention in Miami Beach...

...and will require two first-class tickets aboard your most prestigious flight.

All lines are busy. Please hold.

I got Proctor on the telephone trying to book two first-class tickets to Miami...

...for him and Harris. And he thinks I'm the airport.

Great. Just what we need in Miami. Harris.

No, no, wait.

Put him on hold for a minute.

Checking computers right now, sir. Please stand by.

Ooh! Heh.

I'd like the number for Budget Rent a Plane, please.

Come on, pal. Let's go. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay.

Go!

Go!

Go!

Here, boss. Here.

Duck.

Quietly.

I said quietly.

That's all right.

Ooh. Would you look at this?