Purgatory Station

- Oh, good Lord, it is so early.

Who is even awake right now?

I tell you what, I need to start looking for a new job.

And I tell you what,

those are photos that I personally

would not want in the public spotlight.

Speaking of the public spotlight, the Looten Corporation,

these guys just cannot catch a break.

I mean, just when you think they're out--

You are ridiculous.

Well, he's so ridiculous that...

Hello?

- Hey, this is Tom Delgado from "Eyewitness News."

My network is running a story on the recent allegations

against the Looten Corporation.

As their attorney,

we were hoping you could give a statement about--

Fuck!

- Hey, baby, call your secretary

and have her move your appointment.

I need you to come home and bang me like a marching drum.

Hey, honey.

- At least that's what my OB says if we wanna keep trying.

Anyway, I know you'll make an awesome dad.

So, if you wanna come back,

we can try that new position you like.

Bye, sweetie.

Bye.

Hello?

Why am I here?

Is this some kind of a joke?

Weird.

Where am I?

Yeah, well that's a rhetorical question.

Well, lookie here.

And the Lord said, "Let there be light."

Yeah. Men's urinal. You read my mind.

- Hey, Joe, where the hell are you?

You missed the meeting with Elliot's lawyer.

I mean, I'm not worried, you always crush it,

but where the hell are you?

That's what I want to know.

- Anyway, call me when you get this.

Crap.

Dear Mr. Fortune,

do not use this phone to call the authorities

or there will be consequences.

Somebody's really trying to fuck up my day.

Hello?

Freddy, it's me.

- Joe, you missed the meeting with Mrs. Elliot.

Where the hell are you?

- Hang Mrs. Elliott. I need you to shut up and listen.

Okay, this must be serious.

It is. I've been kidnapped.

What? Really? By who?

- How the hell the should I know?

I'm just locked up in some container.

All right, all right.

Don't panic.

Don't panic?

Freddy, I'm a character in an Edgar Allan Poe story.

I mean, don't tell me not to panic.

Okay, uh...

Do you, do you have any idea where you're at?

No, not at all.

- Any enemies I don't already know about?

Yeah, it could be anybody.

Pick a number or wait in line, I mean...

- Should I call the cops? - No.

No cops.

I don't know who I'm dealing with here,

but just don't call the cops.

Freddy, are you drinking one of those big gulp things again?

Yeah.

- Can you not suck that thing through a straw in my ear?

- Sorry. Okay, so what do you want me to do?

- I want you to call Luther.

Luther, the detective?

- No, Luther Vandross 'cause I want him to sing me a song.

Yes, Luther the detective. Fuck.

- All right. All right. - This is serious.

- Maybe he can get a bead on your cell phone.

Yeah.

And um,

Freddy...

- Yeah? - You better watch your ass.

What? Really? Why?

- Whoever's got me knows that I know you

and you're my best friend, so...

I didn't think of that.

- Okay, call me when you get to Luther's.

Will do.

And remember, no cops.

- What the hell is that?

Yeah, I gotta go.

- Hello, Mr. Fortune.

I see you've located the chest of goodies.

- Who are you? Some ISIS motherfucker?

Oh, no.

I have no political or religious affiliations.

Then uh, what do I call you?

You may call me The Judge.

Huh.

Okay, so ah, how did I get here?

- I had my associates collect you

after your jog this morning.

Oh.

Yeah well, that's what I get for trying to stay in shape, huh?

Yes.

Life is full of ironies.

- So uh, why have you kidnapped me?

- Oh, kidnap is such an ugly word.

Oh, okay.

Then uh, what do you call it?

Let's just say I'm retaining

your full-time legal services for the day.

- Uh- huh. And then you're gonna let me go?

If you do what I ask.

Huh.

So uh, are you really a judge?

Are you really an attorney?

Or just a blood sucking loss selling people out?

- Well, Your Honor, you know that line gets a little blurry

from time to time.

And you blur it constantly

with amoral, greasy machinations.

- Oh, blow me, you pompous bastard.

Not before you buy me flowers,

a glass of wine, and a nice dinner.

So uh,

Have I ever been in your courtroom?

- Maybe, but who I am isn't your concern.

- Okay. So uh, what's my concern?

- Do what I want or suffer the consequences.

- Consequences? Like locking me up in this fucking dungeon?

Dungeon, is it?

It has air conditioning.

Whoa! Who cares?

If I turn it off, you will.

- Yeah, all right. Stop dicking around.

What do you mean by consequences?

If you don't do what I ask,

I'll take away everything you love.

Hmm.

We're playing God, are we?

Oh, I have no such aspirations.

I'm just a wealthy man

with lots of resources at my disposal.

Okay.

So uh, what do you need me for?

You have the connections.

With who?

Looten Corporation.

They're your firm's most important client, are they not?

Yeah, so?

You're the primary interface,

their counselor on all legal matters and contacts?

Yeah.

Your precious client

is strong arming farmers in this valley.

- That's not true. Oh, come on, that's bullshit.

Those farmers are getting fair market value for their land.

They're threatening families,

using intimidation to get people to sell their farms.

What a load of crap.

- My opinions are based on my research

and public records.

I'm uh, sending you all the files for your review.

Why should I read these files?

- Because you're going to sabotage

this despicable land grab.

- Okay, and how do you propose I do that?

- Uh, I suggest you think of something.

You have eight hours to show me results.

Okay. And if I don't?

Then the horror begins.

Okay. Ooh!

The horror begins with what?

Not what, who?

- Okay. With who, goddammit? What the fuck?

Your younger brother, Tony.

- Tony doesn't live around here.

He lives in Chicago. I mean...

You're not a very good liar.

I know exactly where he lives.

Yeah, you're bluffing.

2912 Rossington. Ring a bell?

My man is staked out in front of his house.

Okay.

All right, you got my attention.

But don't do anything you're gonna regret.

Well, the pendulum of regret

is swinging towards you, not me.

Time's ticking, Joe.

Tick tock. Tick tock.

You better get cracking.

Who the hell is this asshole?

- Hello, Farrow County Fire Department.

Nelson speaking.