Mary and Martha

My name is Mary Morgan,

and this is the story of me and Martha.

I'm telling it to you because it's still

all a surprise to me.

We start in April last year.

I haven't met Martha at this point.

This is where I live.

Oh, God!

Oh! Oh! Ugh!

Got it!

It is officially the smallest splinter

ever removed from a human foot.

That doesn't mean it didn't hurt.

Oh, you are the biggest girl!

Although I don't know why I say that

because I'm a girl, and I never made

a sound like that.

Really did hurt.

Oh, I'm sure it did.

Somebody get me a microscope.

Come on, guys. We got to get moving.

And don't forget that I have book club tonight,

which means you two heroes are on your own for dinner.

Will you please make it something other than takeout pizza?

Never.

Extra pepperoni?

What's the book?

It's called "Birdsong."

The definitive novel on World War I.

Pretty serious stuff.

Ben?

Ben!

What?

You're nearly 15 minutes late.

You're gonna miss the train.

No, I won't.

Yes, you will!

No, I won't, because I'm a young person,

and therefore, I travel faster than you,

who's getting quite old now.

You cheeky bugger.

Now some tea and cake?

No! Your totally too late for tea.

Now go on, get out the door

before you're really in trouble.

All right. Just-- just make me a slice of toast, will you,

while I put on my shoes?

Give me strength.

Mum? What?!

Where are my shoes?

Hey!

Come and talk to your mom.

One second.

I'm almost finished with my jungle city.

Gonna build Death Star later.

OK.

It's your choice,

though I may just turn

into a Death Star if you never speak to me again.

Take him! Take him!

Coming at you!

Go on, Benji!

Tackle the ginger bastard!

Come on!

Ohh!

Ha ha ha!

George, bed.

George?

George.

And pel lift.

We have 5 of these.

Just move through mud.

Keep the lower back drawn down,

navel into the spine. In and...

And he writes like a 5-year-old.

And that goon Scanlon.

He spends 90% of his time preparing

the kids for tests,

and the other 10% when they can

actually be learning something,

they're watching DVDs. Huh.

I mean, they're supposed to be

studying Greek history,

and they're watching "Clash of the Titans."

Alice, it's not funny.

I'm telling you, something's gonna change.

Oh, I don't know, you know?

I mean, I think maybe you should take it

a bit easy on George at the moment.

Take it easy? What?

This is precisely the time I've got to save him.

He's my only son.

I've got to hone him.

Yes, but I'm sure he's feeling pretty sensitive

with the whole bullying thing.

What bullying thing?

What bullying?

Apparently he's getting bullied at school,

and he doesn't want to talk about it,

and I hear about it from goddamned Alice in Pilates.

All right. Well, I'll call the principal

and make an appointment immediately.

I'll fix it.

I don't know if I can wait.

No, you'll wait, OK? This is serious.

We'll do it properly.

Mary?

Mary, I would strongly advise we take this slowly.

You know, these things are always more complex than they seem.

OK. OK.

The first battles of the War of the Revolution

were fought at Lexington and--

Uh, Ted. Sorry to disturb.

Mrs. Morgan and I would just like to have a quick word with you.

Right, but first, I'd like to have

a quick word with Felix and Matthew

because your asses are mine, you little thugs.

Oh, my God.

Don't swear.

Did you honestly think that was gonna make it better?

Yeah, I did.

Well, you were wrong.

It's hard enough making friends without your mom

making enemies.

I'm sorry.

And I was stupid.

Are we gonna go?

Shh. I'm thinking.

I'm leaving you.

Excuse me?

I'm leaving you.

Is it because of my strictly sexual affair with Anita?

You're having an affair with Anita?

Well, maybe I am, maybe I'm not.

I'm trying to guess why you would possibly want to leave me.

OK. Well, I'm not leaving you permanently,

but I do want to ask you if I can take George out

of school, take him away

and teach him myself and have an adventure.

You know, I just think he'll do better with me

than in the hands of the people

who are teaching him now.

Honey, can't we just take him away for the summer like normal people?

No. That's two months away.

We'll lose him inside his computer by then.

You know, in the school, they didn't even know

that those kids were bullying him.

I don't know. Taking him out of school is--is extreme.

Yeah, it's extremely fun,

and I think it should be abroad.

Is this the start of a long and serious conversation with me,

his father, or have you made up your mind?

Guess.

Yes!

What is it?

They said yes!

They--they thought I was brilliant.

It doesn't actually say that, does it?

Well no, but it implies it.

The implication of every word is they think

that I'm totally brilliant.

"Thank you for your application,

which we have accepted."

Yeah. What do you think?

Well done, darling.

Do you know what?

I am so proud of you, you great, stupid lump,

though I wish you were going somewhere sensible

like France or Belgium or somewhere.

Mum, France is too small.

I'm a big boy.

I need a big continent.

Get your feet off.

Just two hours north of Johannesburg,

but, uh, a million miles from the world

as you might know it.

For less than you could live at home,

let my family and I treat you to a true African adventure.

The 3-bedroom house is surrounded

by 500 acres...

What do you think about South Africa?

Best scenery in the world,

best animals in the world,

totally affordable.

You know, nice but real.

You're really serious about this, huh?

Yes!

I want to be an extraordinary mom,

and to be an extraordinary mom,

I have to, at some point, do something extraordinary.

Come with us.

Be an extraordinary dad.

Oh, that's fair.

I have 25 employees.

I know.

Bye.

Have a good day.

Love you.

Love you, too.

This is a soup kitchen for the striking miners.