Young & Hungry

Your cocktail, miss?

Mahalo, my homegirl.

Well, all right.

Now all we need is an island breeze...

- Mm. - ... some island music...

... and we are officially on...

Staycation!

You know, if you close your eyes,

you can almost hear the waves

lapping against the...

Hey!

Shut the hell up! We're in Maui!

I'll get us earplugs.

At least we can still lay out in the sun.

Ugh, garbage trucks and rain!

Now we have to drink inside on the couch!

That's not a vacation, we do that everyday.

Why can't we afford to go on a real fancy vacation?

No one our age can.

We're only 24. Who's got that kind of money?

Ugh, Lizette.

Lizette?

Lizette.

Can you believe this Facebook post?

"So excited to marry my best friend

at our destination wedding in Punta Cana!"

I want to go to Punta Cana!

Where's Punta Cana?

Dominican Republic.

She's flying down in a private jet

and staying at a beachfront villa!

- She makes me sick. - She's the worst.

We should try to get in touch with her again.

Why?

Uh, hello, we get friendly with her,

she invites us to the wedding,

and then we go to Punta Cana for free!

How? We'd still have to pay our own way. It says:

"The private jet and villa are only for the wedding party."

Aw, man.

That's it. The wedding party.

Bridesmaids!

Can you believe how great Lizette's life turned out?

Who knew she'd make so much money

off of Da Bomb Lip Balm?

Ugh, yeah...

People are sheep.

Well... she's here.

- Lizette! - Lizette!

Lizette!

Gabi! Sofia!

We have so much to catch up on.

Wait. Was I a millionaire

the last time we saw each other?

Yep.

Well, now I'm a multi one.

God, Lizette. Your life turned out so amazing.

Yeah, but there is a downside.

I mean, my hand is cramping up

lugging this thing around!

- Oh! - Ah!

One dirty martini.

I always wondered what made it dirty.

Mm. This.

So... I'm guessing,

you have more of an... open engagement?

Oh, that's my fiancé... Carlo.

That's why I wanted to meet here.

He's Filipino.

I met him when he catered one of my openings.

And now, he caters all my openings.

Oh... Oh!

I know it's crazy, right?

So...

you two gay marry each other yet?

'Cause that was the rumor in high school.

Uh...

Lizette,

if we married each other,

don't you think we would ask you to be our bridesmaid?

Nope.

Damn it.

You know what's crazy, Lizette?

That you didn't ask us to be your bridesmaids.

Why the hell would I do that?

Well, because all of our lives,

you've shoved every great thing

that ever happened to you in our faces.

That's not true. Oh, did I tell you,

I just bought a WNBA team?

Oh, mm-hmm, now I see it.

So, I mean, how great would it be

to be standing in your gazillion-dollar wedding dress,

under your gazillion-dollar gazebo,

watching us die of jealousy because you have everything

and we have gazilch?

Hmm...

That does sound fun.

You're in!

Ooh, but there is just one problem.

There's only one seat left on the jet.

Who will I chose?

Sofia, you go.

Oh, no, no, no, you go.

- I can't go without you. - Well, I can't go without you.

And I can't believe you think you're going to decide.

It's my wedding.

I'm gonna decide whose face I shove it in.

Speaking of shoving...

Carlo!

A round of dirty martinis for my lesbian friends.

Cheers, ladies!

Yolanda, guess what?

My college invited me to give a guest lecture on my profession.

What's that? Josh's bitch?

His publicist!

The person who maintains his image,

writes his press releases,

and manages any crisis that pops up.

Elliot, I have a crisis!

And I shall manage it.

I got some hot sauce on my favorite hoodie.

Need you to take it to the dry cleaner, pronto.

Damn... you are critical to the team.

That's not all I do for him!

Oh, I also need you to pick me up a dozen donut holes.

And I mean a dozen, not ten with powdered sugar on your tie.

Oh, my God!

I am Josh's bitch.

How did this happen?

It's because you let him walk all over you.

I laid the law down with Josh on day one.

I can't lay down the law.

I'm not confident and manly like you.

Help me, Yolanda!

Well, if you want Josh to appreciate you,

you gotta show him you have other job prospects.

Yes!

Where would I find those?

Just give me your resumé and I'll put it online for you.

Oh, yeah!

Then the offers will start rolling in,

and Josh will respect me, and he'll see that I'm smart,

ambitious and I'm movin' on up.

Thanks, Weezy.

I gotta say, you girls are sure being civil to one another

considering only one of you can be my bridesmaid.

Well, Gabi and I talked, and we just want you to be happy.

And like you said, the bride decides.

Speaking of wedding vows!

Lizette, when I found out you were getting married,

I was just so caught up in my joy for your joy

that these wedding vows just spilled out!

What?

I have been trying to write my vows for three weeks,

but nothing rhymes with Filipino!

"Carlo, from the moment we met, you surprised me,"

captivated me, and challenged me like no other.

I'm black, you're Filipino,

"together we make the perfect cappuccino."

How did I miss cappuccino?

Sofia, can I talk to you in the kitchen for a minute?

There's ten more stanzas.

- What's up? - What are you doing?

Uh, well, at the bar, you said that I should be the one to go,

so I'm just trying to make sure that I'm the one who goes.

Well, at the bar, you said I should go.

I was being nice.

This is the most manipulative thing I have ever seen.

Who wants wedding cake?

- What? - Yep.

Six different kinds of cake tasting, if you will.

Ooh! Shut up!

Is that mousseline buttercream?

You butter believe it!

Mmm!

This cake is so much more delicious than the cake I ordered.

Gabi, will you be my...?

Mm!

Hello?

Well, I think it's clear we have a winner.

Do we Gabi? Do we?

Mm-hmm. Once you eat me, you just can't beat me.

It's the hotel! They keep saying, "No wedding! No wedding,"

followed by a bunch of Spanish!

I only speak Mandarin!

Aw. Well, I speak Spanish.

Hello?

Okay, cual es el problema?

Señor, Que necesitas para Que suceda Esta boda?

Okay, entonces van a tener Que resolver con Lil' So-so!

Entiendes?

Muchas gracias.

Okay, so, the wedding is back on.

And they're throwing in a free case of champagne!

Oh! You saved my wedding!

But, but, but, buttercream.

Sofia... will you be my bridesmaid?

- No! - Yes!

Hasta la vista, loser.