Crazy Crying Lady (Khun Nai Ho) (คุณนายโฮ)

All right, class. Today we're going to talk about your dreams.

I want each of you

to tell me what you want to be when you grow up.

Okay?

Let's start with Doc.

I want to be a doctor.

Very good.

Now, Boy, how about you?

I want to be like Toon Bodyslam.

Huh?

Anyone else with a serious answer?

I want to be pregnant.

I want to have kids.

That's awesome!

That's absolutely fine, dear.

But after you grow up, get married, then think about it. Okay?

Understand?

PRINCIPAL

Well done, Kanlaya.

You're the top student of our province.

Your family must be proud.

HONORABLE CERTIFICATE KANLAYA HEWSAKUL

Ho.

Dad.

Ho.

Where's Mom and big sister? I have something to tell you guys.

I have something to tell you, too.

Well, Dad, you go first.

Your mom and your sister were in a car crash.

Ho.

Congratulations!

What gives?

CRAZY CRYING LADY

What's up?

Doc, I cried in my sleep again.

And are you okay?

Yeah, I guess.

If you're okay, then go back to bed. Nothing to worry about.

But I was crying hard.

Then you're not okay.

- You want to tell me about it? - Yeah.

Doc, why do I cry so often?

Every little thing can set me off.

I cry even when I'm asleep.

Can you help me?

You're a doctor!

What's that have to do with it?

Your problem isn't from some disease.

It comes from your feelings.

Your feelings are the problem.

Any problems in your life?

Of course.

You'll have a problem with me.

I can't take this.

Get out of my house!

You're getting too queer.

- In what way? - In every way.

It's just the way things are, Dad.

Anything can happen these days.

Gays are the leaders of fashion.

The gay stuff is not normal.

Why is that?

What's wrong with being gay?

Nana is not wrong.

What did you just call yourself?

Nana.

I named you Nava, and you changed it to Nana on your own!

Bastard!

What's going on, Dad?

Look at your brother.

Who raised him to be this way?

This is unacceptable.

Nava, please.

Please what? I don't care.

Why?

I am gay and so what? I'm not hurting anybody.

It's me you're hurting.

Dad, calm down.

Just say what you want him to do.

- Here. - What?

Three things.

One.

Don't bring that ugly gay friend of yours here again.

I can't stand him.

I haven't introduced myself to you, Papa.

My name is Sabina.

Would slapping a child gay be against a military rule?

Enough, Dad.

No! Two.

Don't dress like this again.

You don't like this?

Happy now?

Did you get a boob job?

Do I have to take it off?

No!

I'm almost barfing 'cause of this.

You criticize how I dress.

And look at you.

What about me?

You've been retired for a long time,

but you're still wearing your full uniform.

Walking around with your sweaty armpits all day.

It's pretty close to madness.

Really close.

Captain, don't forget the third one.

Three.

Don't do this again.

That's my phone!

What is it?

It is…

Still here.

Look at it yourself.

Hello.

Today I'm going to teach you how to do a sweet makeup look.

EXPERT NANA 125 VIEWS

First of all, lip color.

Red is the color of attraction.

Next, we'll add some sweetness with eyeshadow.

Pink is the only color to choose.

Apply.

Apply.

And apply.

But if you have to be up close to your guy,

try this, syrup or a sugar solution.

The same method.

Dip your finger in it, then apply on the eyelids.

Apply.

In case your guy wants to taste it,

the sweetness on your eyelids will linger on the tip of his tongue.

Next Monday, I'll teach you how to play a ukulele.

On Wednesday, I'll teach you how to dance the robot.

And on Friday,

I'll teach you how to open cockles without hurting your hands.

And for now…

good-bye.

A high-ranking officer like me has a son who teaches how to open cockles.

Why, Dad?

What's wrong with a gay on YouTube?

It's wrong in every way.

You don't have any art in your heart.

I neither have art nor heart.

My heart has been dead for a long time.

Shit.

Melodrama time.

Those tears are coming?

Not yet.

If your mom were still here,

it wouldn't have been like this.

There you go with those words.

I think we should split up for now.

Why do you want to be gay, Nava?

Nana!

Okay. Nana.

I'm begging you.

Try to change yourself.

Try to be a man.

Try to have manly friends.

It might turn out well.

You'll never know if you don't try.

No, I don't want to.

I'm not into it.

You don't understand me.

If our sister Lookpong were still here…

she wouldn't have said this to me.

There it is.

It looks like fun, Nana.

To do what we haven't done before.

It might be a good thing.

We'll never know if we don't try.

Try?

You think so?

Okay.

I'll try.

Yeah. We'll never know if we don't try.

I just said the exact same thing.

Come on. Let's plan this.

So exciting!

Wait.

There's one more person to deal with.

Dad.

Dad?

Dad!

Dad.

Dad. Come out and talk.

What's there to talk about?

I'd like to ask you to compromise.

Being strict is not always a good thing.

We need to learn how and when to compromise.

You're a teacher.

Just teach at school, not at home.

I'm a soldier.

I follow rules strictly.

But this is our home, not a battlefield.

Could you please stop thinking about the past and start thinking about future?

I have.

So, can you tell me what you think about the future?

How about next year?

I want to get enlisted.

Oh, shit.

Being enlisted at the age of 60…