Think Like a Man Too

Las Vegas.

For 100 years, people have flocked to get a taste of its forbidden fruit.

In the 1930s and '40s, it was the Mafia and gambling.

In the late '50s, America's first topless showgirls appeared at the Dunes Casino.

And in the '60s, it was all about Frank and the Rat Pack.

But today, damn! Vegas has become Disneyland for adults.

And let me tell you something. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

See, in this town, you don't know if it's day or night.

And guess what? You don't care, because you're in Vegas, baby!

From the casinos to the clubs, the pools and the strip bars,

it's the best place in the world for men and women to get their freak on.

Okay, just be careful because it's a wedding dress.

Why are you stressing? It's beautiful.

Unless, of course, they go together as couples.

Zeke?

Zeke the Freak! It's me, Marty. Remember?

Marty the One Man Party! What up? What up, man?

Oh, man, wait till I tell Luis the Freak is back in town!

Two of my wildest nights ever was with Z to the F.

I can only imagine.

Oh, baby, you don't even got to imagine. We got this on video.

She don't wanna see that.

- She ain't about that life? - No.

That's sweet. This man is a god. A legend with the ladies.

We used to get him drunk just to get his leftovers.

I was young, I used to come by here once in a while.

Sounds like you came here a lot.

You remember Marco's big blow-out bash last year?

That was a few years ago.

- Them strippers was off the chain. - Marty, this is my woman, Mya.

Nice to meet you.

No! Wait!

You took him down?

Lower the flag, baby! Retire the rubbers.

Zeke the Freak is getting married!

No! No, dude, God, no.

We just here for a friend's wedding. Mya just made the dresses.

- Designed. - Designed the dresses.

Well, I'm just saying, if you can get away later on,

Luis is having an after-party at the Chicken Ranch...

I'm right here!

- Well, this how we do, baby! - Let me just get with you later.

All right. Get your girl in check, she gonna make me look bad out here in the street, man.

Wait till I tell Luis the Freak is back in town!

I don't know that dude, really. I met him one time. He drives and cuts hair.

- Hell, no. - Zeke the Freak is back in town, baby!

Now, my opinion?

The only thing worse than going to Vegas as a couple is going as man and wife.

Babe, you see the car?

Look at these hookers.

Fish, honey, those are not hookers.

They're just girls having fun in Vegas. It's really not a big deal.

They probably got no dad in their life, low self-esteem. It's very sad, actually.

By the way, Bennett, that fanny-pack really screams "Vegas Weekend."

Yeah, Tish got it for me. It's safer to keep your money in the front in Vegas.

- Plus, she gave me a bonus. - Bet she did.

And I can get to the money if I need to. It's right in the front.

I can't wait to get to the room.

All right.

Okay, good, there's gonna be like an hour between check-in and separation.

- For what? - We're trying to have a baby, ASAP.

I waited nine years to get married, so we're, you know.

Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!

- I hope for your sake it's a boy. - Why?

Well, you know, when you have a boy, you just worry about his wiener.

When you have a girl, you have to worry about all the wieners coming at her.

Smacking her around. You remember how it is.

The romance and magic of scheduled sex.

- Girl's not gonna wait forever. - Yeah, no, I get it.

She doesn't want to be the "old" mom.

I can't believe it, man! You as a father.

I know, right? I can't believe it either.

She's like a drill sergeant, on a schedule!

It's like there's a shot clock,

constantly winding down to one, and I gotta hit the last shot.

Last week, I thought I sprained it.

You know, the worst part about it is I had to stop smoking pot.

- No! You? Pot. - Yeah. Me.

- It's like saying goodbye to an old friend. - Why?

Because I can only deal with one stoned child at a time, that's why.

- She heard us. - She hears everything.

Fortunately, some couples know exactly how to embrace the true spirit of Vegas.

Okay, all right.

So they hadn't seen each other for 10 days because of Lauren's business trip.

Now you know what they say.

Absence does make the heart and other organs grow fonder.

Despite its reputation as Sin City,

Vegas is still the number one destination in the country

for couples to do the craziest thing of all, get married. Dummies.

It is the perfect setting.

Everything is perfect. You know, this kind of looks like...

Ancient Rome, like Spartacus.

Excuse me, when have you seen Spartacus?

At Grandma's, when she falls asleep during Grey's Anatomy.

I do not fall asleep when I'm babysitting you!

So, Candace, the bride will enter from here,

and right there is where...

We get married.

So, remember, you must be here on time so we can begin your ceremony promptly.

- We cannot hold up the next wedding party. - Yes.

Perfect timing! Your wedding programs just arrived.

I've got that.

It was so sweet of your mom to splurge on French linen paper.

Candace, you are the only daughter she's ever gonna have.

And I think this whole process has really been healing for her.

Especially after the passing of Deacon Johnson.

Aunt Winnie said he died in bed with Miss Loretta.

But at least he had a happy ending.

There you go.

Thank you.

- What? - What?

"Michael and Tandis"?

Seriously?

No, no, no!

Oh, baby. They probably misheard her.

Do not have a mama's boy relapse on our wedding weekend.

No. Baby, I'm gonna give you the perfect wedding. All right?

Nothing's gonna go wrong.

I arrived the only way a sane person should for a weekend in Vegas.

I'm talking about solo, people!

After Gail pissed on my iPad for no reason,

our marriage counselor suggested that we have a trial separation for one month.

Which meant I was free to do whatever I wanted, starting right now.

- How you doin'? - Doing very well, sir, thank you.

Name is Ward. Cedric Ward. I'm staying in the...

Constantine Villa. Welcome, Mr. Ward. We've been expecting you.

Your dedicated concierge is awaiting you inside.

Listen, I'm gonna need you to dedicate yourself to something.

See this car right here? It's a rental.

And I passed on the insurance 'cause they wanted me to pay the extra five.

I'm not talking about dollars, I'm talking about hundred.

So I need you to watch this car like

your life depended on it. Can you do that for me?

Welcome to Caesar's Palace, Mr. Ward.

Well, hello!

- Hello. - Hi.

This is what I'm talkin' about!

Welcome to Caesar's Palace, Mr. Ward.

I'm Vanessa, here to accommodate your every need during your stay with us.

Well, I got a lotta needs, so let's get to accommodatin'.

I understand you're part of the Hanover-Hall wedding party.

You're looking at the best man.

I'ma hook it up.

In my opinion, the Constantine Villa is the most elegant suite in the entire hotel.

Were they able to put the stripper pole in the room?

I'm doing a little after-party at the bachelor party, like an after-after-party?

- Unfortunately not. - Damn it.

But your personal butler Declan can take care of your other needs.

My personal butler? I didn't pay for no butler.

It's on the house.

Well, I like this house!

- We aim to please. - Well, you have succeeded!

Just sign here for your balance and incidentals.

I'll take you upstairs for a personal tour of your villa.

Private tour? Okay. This is pretty standard, right?

- You should read it. - Nah, it'll say the same stuff.

Been to one hotel, been to them all.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

I'm waiting on you.

Vanessa!

Cedric! What up, man?

Zeeky! What's up?

- Wait a minute. - Hey, Mya.

Hold on, hold on. Let me get this right.

Gail let you leave the house and come to Vegas by yourself?

Don't you start with me, Zeke.

You lyin', I know she here. Gail, where you at?

Zeke, look at me right now.

- You look amazing. - It looks good, right?

It's H&M. Men's line.

Hey. I want to introduce you to my new friend, Vanessa.

Zeke the Freak?

Vanessa...

You son of a bitch!

- What the hell? - What are you doing?

- Where's my passport? - I don't have your damn passport!

Why did you do that?

- Zeke, I thought she was gonna drink it. - Excuse me, excuse me!

Miss Martinez, I am shocked and appalled. In my office, immediately.

Man, chill out.

Watch your back.

Thank you, Zeke. 'Cause I had that in the bag.

That was about to get booked.

She was supposed to give me a tour, sir.

I will give you your personalized, private tour of the villa.

Well, I don't wanna be rude, but you can keep that shit.

I want Vanessa, I don't need your tour.

Sir, look at my face. I'm in the Constantine. The Constantine...

- Constantine. - Constantine.

I can't talk to you right now.

Are you okay? Your baggage is gonna catch up to you, man.

Mya, are you all right?

You gotta be strong. I get it. Did she go this way? Vanessa!

Cedric!

- See you later. - All right.

- Nice to meet you. - Thank you, nice to meet you.

The whole crew was back together.

Without even realizing it,

the men and the women had divided themselves into opposing teams.

Look! We both got on green shirts and we both got blue eyes!