Starring Jerry As Himself

Gimme my money man.

My name is Jerry.

I came to America in the 70's.

I worked as an engineer for 40 years.

I supported my family by working hard and saving money.

But.

One year after I retired.

I received a phone call.

Is my hair okay?

I've got a pumpkin face.

Can you do...

Duh nuh duh. You suck!

Well you can tell by the way I use my walk.

I'm a woman's man.

No time to talk.

What the hell?

Jesse Hsu?

Do you want to have babies with him?

Do you want to end up with him?

Is it better?

Is it better?

Is it better?

Who is it?

What?

It's not locked.

Come in!

Oh Jon!

How are you doing? How was the flight?

- It's a good flight. - All right!

So this is the place.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Good to go.

Well this looks nice.

Oh my god!

I'm the big bao.

I feel good, you need to give me massage today.

So bright and white.

- Really? - Shoes off or what?

Yes, especially him.

- Yes Mom. - Dirty looking shoes.

Look here, that's my theme.

Everything is creamy white.

75 inch TV.

Show off.

Okay next one.

Is my powder bathroom just I did.

- 6:30 already. - Yeah we gotta go soon.

It's nice. I mean...

It's a lot of space for like a home office.

Sit in the chair. Try my chair.

Lay?

- Yeah. Down. - Lay.

Lay.

Oh. Well that's nice.

Yeah so, so comfortable.

Yeah, okay.

- What do you think? - Bright.

See this chandelier, it's like rings.

It's like bom bom bom bom bom.

It looks like diamond rings.

Yeah I never thought about it.

Josh are you coming? Come on, come on!

Quick! Quick!

Wait let me see your room.

Well you're, you're a bachelor.

- Bachelor pad. - Bachelor.

- Yeah. - Bachelor style.

Easy. Done.

Good to see you.

- Are you still healthy? - Yeah healthy.

- Do you still take walk? - Moving around, yeah!

I'm gonna show you.

Because you never see this house.

C'mon, let's see guest bedroom.

- And my master. - Ugh.

This is downstairs, that's garage.

- Beautiful. - Garage.

- Go in. - Okay.

Wanna help me pick which outfit more brighter?

It's not, it's just Chinese restaurant, not formal.

- Oh my god. - Anything works.

I like something look more different than I always wear black.

- You look good right now. - That looks fine.

You sure?

Do you know why Dad called us for this meeting?

What's going on?

I really don't care. Really. I don't want.

I don't care.

Anyway, so.

- That means you guys don't like this? - That looks great.

Okay I have scarf maybe I can just put on that.

I'm gonna change and uh, okay.

Dad, did you want to tell us?

Dad, do you have cancer?

No no no no no.

More, more, more.

Okay. The nurses will come get you for your MRI.

And my office will be in touch with your results.

Okay? Take care Jerry.

Okay, bye.

Hi Dad, hows it going?

I'm okay how are you?

Good, hey what's up?

I want to talk to you about something.

Uh now's not a good time, it's really crazy.

Okay, some other time.

Yeah sorry, I'll call you back.

Dad, wake up.

Let's go to the bed.

Thanks for dinner.

Okay, anytime.

That's daddy for.

I gotta head home too.

Hey.

Open.

- Hey. - Hey.

Alright, here's uh.

Stock market was really bad today.

Okay.

Bad?

How bad?

- Bad? - It was really red, did you sell anything?

No.

When price go down, don't sell.

It was down a lot.

You like, never sell.

Buy low, sell high.

You know, Mom said that you're taking a lot of business calls.

Yeah, people call me for my advice.

But what are they bothering you for, you're already retired.

Same. Paying rent.

Wedding cost?

What are you talking about.

You know what, I have to go okay.

I'll see you here next week?

Bye bye.

Hi, how can I help you today?

Oh yeah, I want to transfer money.

Alright well I can help you right over here.

Okay.

Just no reason to wait in line right?

I'm Matt by the way.

My name is Jerry.

Nice to meet you Jerry.

Okay, so.

How much money are we transferring today?

$25,000.

$25,000, that's quite a, quite a bit of money.

May I ask uh.

Why. What the transfer is for?

Investment. Business investment.

What kind of investment?

It's uh. Real estate.

Real estate investment.

Well congratulations.

Do you have the account number and the address of where you'd like it sent to?

Yes I have it right here.

Thank you sir.

California.

Knows how to party.

Have you ever been to California?

No, not yet.

And you're sending money out to California for real estate.

I love the weather, hate the traffic.

You a beach or a mountains fella?

Alright.

Okay.

So, the transfer is complete.

And now the funds will be available to the recipient within one business day.

I have a receipt for you, one to sign.

And one for our records.

Actually, hold on.

I have an interesting offer for you.

What kind of offer?

I don't tell just everybody about this but...

Okay. Good.

Thinking about it.

It's in a nicer neighborhood, so it's more expensive.

- It's about double the other property. - Double?

That means uh.

Yeah, if you can swing it. If that's okay.

You sure you're fine with that?

- Sure, yeah. - You got it?

Yeah okay, yeah.

Who is that?

I don't know, it's probably Mom.

Has he been acting weird lately?

I don't know.

Everything okay?

And your transfer of $75,000 is complete.

Here you go.

Can I ask you a personal question?

Yup.

Are you retired?

Yes, I retired about a year ago.

Congratulations. Do you live alone?

Yes I live alone.

Why you ask this question?

We just like to know our customers better.