Cougar Town

If you guys are dating, why do i still have to keep it a secret?

I'll take this one, baby.

right, right. It's just because this relationship is so new.

I just... And grayson and I are like pools.

We're still sticking our toes in each other.

Grossest thing I have ever said.

I'm gonna go throw up.

I wanna get comfortable

Before people start judging us, you know?

I feel like we might have a shot-

Ellie, are you listening to me? If the conversation goes on too long

Without being about me, I'm out!

You look so beautiful today.

I'm back in. Check out what I found on this medical web site.

Get everyone over here now.

Here's the most important part of the medical study.

"women whoonsumed a moderate amount of alcohol

"had a lower risk of becoming overweight

During 12 years of follow-up."am.

I don't get it.

Drinking keeps women skinny.

Oh, my god!

This is bigger than curing cancer.

And all together now, if it's on the internet...

it must be true!

Exactly. Now, everyone... sip, please.

Afternoon, booze bags. What are we celebrating today?

Science.

Big week, huh? Graduating from high school.

Why are yopretending to care?

Just trying it out. Not a huge fan.

The ceremony's this Friday, correct?

What? Fancy-dancy notebook?

Yeah, it helps me keep track of things

Like appointments, birthdays, phone numbers,

People I owe money to/ need to avoid.

Ah. Makes sense.

of course. Plus it makes me look smart. Observe.

Wow. You look like a rocket scientist.

What'd you write?

"I love pretzels."

No, you didn't.

You wrote "I," then a heart, then a squiggly line. That's a pretzel.

Good god. To gettin' skinny!

gettin' skinny

whoo!

Thank you.

Okay, I've got the graduation tickets.

Yay! Cool. You guys, check this out.

I didn't know you went here. I didn't.

I just wrote that while you guys were getting the tickets.

well, put my name. I rock, too. Okay.

Jules, look!

Remember that car dealership promotion

Where they let that red balloon go with 2,000 bucks in it?

I bet that's it.

I'm gonna go climb that pole, logger-style.

Sorry I can't make it to trav's graduation.

Smith has to go to the bahamas on a work thing,

And he invited me to tag along,

And you know how much I love going to countries

With handsome black men wandering around. It's always been one of your favorite things.

And to be able to share that with smith... It's so romantic. Oh, honey, it's okay.

Hey, how's it going up there? Gettin' there!

wrong balloon. Let's go.

Why do you have a dart in your purse?

Who keeps taking my darts?

Maybe someone thinks it's dangerous

To have darts flying around while people are drinking.

I don't know.

This-this is a business, you know.

good one.

Ah.

So, trav, you giving the speech at graduation?

Nope. Not the valedictorian.

Isn't there also another speaker that's not a giant nerd?

Yeah. They pick an average student

To kind of speak for the masses.

It's called "the everyman," but I didn't submit a speech.

I don't know. I just don't think graduating high school's

Really that big a deal. What? It's huge!

I'm with her, buddy. I think we can all agree

That I peaked in high school. Weird thing to pound out.

I was a stud in high school, too.

I used to buy beer for everybody.

Bald by 16.

Well, didn't age prematurely, so...

For me, it's just over. Do me a favor. At graduation,

Let's not make a crazy, giant deal about it, okay?

Whatever you want, sweetie.

Thanks.

That kid doesn't know what he wants.

That's... My beer.

You suck at musical beers.

This is my bar, damn it!

Okay. You guys have one job, and that's to come up

With something great for travis' graduation

That just shows him how proud we all are.

Just gotta be big!

And I'm not talking about some little button

With his baby picture on it, okay? 'cause that is weak sauce.

I already wrote down a fantastic idea. Hold on.

Hold on. Ooh, I do love pretzels.

You know, I'm gonna burn that notebook. Found it!

Baby picture buttons.

Shoot.

Jules, it's supposed to be 90 degrees on Friday.

Please don't make me go to travis' graduation.

I'll hate it.

Look, my family never showed up for big events.

With travis...

You have perfect skin. I'm back in.

Ellie torres, you are my family.

If you try to skip out on travis' graduation,

I will murder you... Hard.

Fine. I'll go.

But guess who's coming with me.

Bam!

Holy big hat! Love it. Hides so much of your face.

Did andy let you in? Uh-huh.

He's not allowed to do that without warning me.

Aa aah!

That's for letting laurie in.

All right, come here. Love you.

Mmm!

Bye.

Mmm, I love it. It's like we're in prison.

Oh, you got your yearbook.

Besidemy senior photo, there's one picture of me,

And it's with mrgoulsby, the creepy wood shop teacher.

Huckles) why do you have your hands on his breasts?

Because I was pretending to push him into the band saw,

But they cropped that part out. Bummer for you, dude. What happened

To mr. I don't care about high school?

What was I supposed to say? I didn't ma any mark at all.

The only thing that matters is that you got through it.

It's not like I made some big splash in high school.

Really? Because I got your yearbook.

We don't need to loough that.

I an, I'm barely in it.

Look. Inside cover- you as the prom queen.

Yeah, I got 98% of the vote, but, you know, whatever.

I mean, it's only one thing.

It doesn't mean I was super cool.

Is this you dancing onstage with bruce springsteen?

Yeah. That was super cool.

Stop.

I'm sorry.

...39, 40.

There are 40 pictures of you in this yearbook.

How is this helpg? Ooh, 42 if you count

These kids who dressed up as you for e Halloween dae.

, ye, the beasley twins. Mm, weird ys.

Why didn't I play any sports?

Didn't I like football when I w younger?

Why'd I stop playing that?

Mrs. Cobb, he just skinned his knee!

Never again! Never again!

I don't know. You just decided you hated it.

Hmm. Okay, sad face...

Don't you mea"normal face"? Really?

Sorry.

You're gonna write a speech,

And you're gonna be "the everyman" guy. They're never gonna pick me.

If you believed in yourself

Even half as much as I believe in you,

You would know you could do anything. You...

Yes, I got that from a sandra bullock movie,

But, you know, I still mean it.

All right. Why not?

Did they do a play about you?

no! Stop it!

it was a musical, and it was brilliant.

Oh, thank you. Mmm. hit it.

So... My trip with smith fell through.

Oh, but I didn't buy you a ticket to travis' graduation.

I mean, if it's okay with you, I'll just miss it,

And then maybe I'll catch up with you guys after.

Okay. Hello?

I need to see you tonight.

That would be acceptable.

That's booty call language. Who are you talkinto? I'm talking to the cemetery.

They want to move my dad's casket.

Worst liar ever.

By a creek would be great. My dad loved creeks. Oh.

♪ we can't hide our hearts, we won't play the fools ♪

Our love is yours always, jules ♪

So? Awful.

Now it's my turn to share. I'll be right back.

Okay, you guys mock all you want,

But that song will be in your head later.

If it is, it'll be my last thought before I shoot myself.

So they picked "mr. Everyman."

You're doing that fake mislead, aren't you? It's you!

It's not. Yes, it's you!

Mom, stop.

I'm sorry.

Okay, it's me! Aah! Oh, god!

Come here! I'm so proud of you! Oh!

To go, trav. Let's go to the mall where they print your picture