Inspector Morse

Often the drop didn't work,

and the hangman had to yank on the feet of the condemned.

When was the last one, Dr Van Buren?

The last public execution in Oxford was in 1863.

The condemned man was...

Noah Austin. Killed his girlfriend's father.

Right. But the most famous public execution was in 1860 -

the Oxford Canal Murderers.

Special trains ran from London.

10,000 people were outside Oxford Gaol.

More than they get for Oxford United.

The Oxford Canal Murder.

The victim was a respectable married woman named Joanna Franks.

She was traveling from Coventry to London to join her husband

via the Oxford Canal on this Pickford fly boat, the Barbara Bray.

'Early one morning in June 1859,

it passed Prince's Lock, near here.'

'Minutes later, her body was found in the water.'

'The police investigated.'

'The detective force had been founded.'

Their skills were legendary.

Dickens loved to hunt crime with the detectives.

It was proved that Joanna Franks had been killed by the boat's crew,

who were tried at Oxford Assize.

And in 1860, two of them - Oldfield and Musson -

swung on the public gallows.

No, thank you. I won't.

Are you quite all right, Morse?

Ah! Our distinguished speaker.

Very erudite, Dr Van Buren.

Well, thank you.

Hardly put my forebears to the test.

I agree. If the case were tried now, they'd reach the same conclusion.

It was an open-and-shut case. There's no such thing.

They had no forensic science then.

Victorian detectives may not have had modern science

but they knew about human nature.

Meaning we don't?

Now, Morse... You're Morse? I want to talk to you.

Would you... excuse me,...

Dr Van Buren?

Was it something I said?

I doubt it. Pardon me, Dr Van Buren.

Morse?

Oh my God.

All right, Mr Morse.

Come on, man! Quick!

Lift on three. One, two, three.

Get a surgical registrar!

Come on now, Mr Morse. You're very ill - I hope you realise that.

And I need you fast asleep.

Just what is wrong with me?

We can't tell you yet. A consultant will examine you in the morning.

Now, off you go, Mr Morse.

Liver's enlarged.

Do you drink a lot, Mr Horse?

Morse.

Not much. I like a glass of beer.

And how many of those a week? -A week?

I'll make it easier. How many a day?

Two or three.

Spirits?

I sometimes get a bottle of Scotch.

And how long does it last?

Depends how big the bottle is.

Statistically we discount the sex exploits of diabetics

and booze intake of the middle classes.

But we can't discount the state of your abdomen.

You said liver.

That too, if you stay on the booze.

You've really overdone it, haven't you?

Have I? What's the matter with me, Doctor?

At best, a peptic ulcer that's bleeding.

At worst... a cancerous ulcer that needs some serious surgery.

We had a quick look last night,

but I need to do an endoscopy and take a biopsy. Nurse!

Tea or coffee, Mr Greenaway?

Gin and tonic, please.

Ice and lemon?

No ice. It spoils the gin.

Endoscopy? I had that.

Now they're cutting me up on Friday.

Are you a relative? He said he didn't have any.

Actually, I'm a doctor.

Oh. Right you are, then.

Hi, there!

Well, you went to a lot of trouble to avoid our conference.

Feeling better?

Dr Van Buren. No, I'm not.

I thought I'd come and visit you.

I said I was a doctor.

You are.

Why did you think you'd come and see me?

I brought you a book. If you're going to be in here a while,

you might need a little reading matter.

Criminal Detection In The Victorian Period,

by Millicent Van Buren.

You. How kind.

The Oxford Canal Murder.

Ah. The open-and-shut case.

Read that, and learn that it was.

And are you flying home now?

Not yet. I'm writing my next book.

Your Institute of Criminology has great archives.

Oxford has too many scholars and not enough policemen.

Right. Which is why I was curious to meet you.

Excuse me. Who is that with Mr Morse?

She says she's his doctor.

No, she isn't.

Are you a friend of Morse's?

Millie Van Buren. Boston University.

He promised he'd check out my research.

Isn't he sweet?

Isn't he just?

Oh, Morse...

Why on earth didn't you let me know?

You know I'd have come right away.

You were still in Carlisle.

How is your mother? Much better, thanks.

I go away for a month and you do this.

So, how are you?

It's a case of mistaken identity.

Sure (!) Looks like it.

What are they doing to you?

I'm down for an internal examination - an endoscopy.

And then they decide whether to carve me up.

I'm sorry, Morse.

You must be worried sick.

I am.

But they are looking after you properly?

Yes. There's a beautiful black nurse called Fiona.

I saw her. A doctor's dream, isn't she?

A monster Scots Sister called Nessie.

I met her. Does she come from around Loch Ness?

Bottom of it, I should think.

You know what this means, don't you?

I've no doubt they're already planning to replace me.

Don't be ridiculous.

I've seen it coming.

But you're their best detective. I was. Look at me now.

Come on, Morse.

Oh. Is this what that woman -

Do you mind? I need his buttocks. I'm sorry?

Injection. Would you be so kind?

Right.

And I've got two off now!

Lewis is on his inspector's course, and now Morse is in hospital.

We've a drugs bust in Cowley.

Sorry, sir.

Constable, don't go away.

I'm short-handed to start with.

Morse's illness has left me completely... you know.

Wrong-footed? Wrong-foot...

Oh, I've got quite enough probationers.

I need some experienced detectives on secondment.

Oh, I see. Well, if you'd -

Hello?

Oh, really!

Kershaw! Do not interrupt me when I'm talking to the Chief Constable.

Just trying to be useful, sir. Then be useful. I want some grapes.

And a paperback novel.

Of course, sir. Grapes.

Would that be green or purple?

Oh, green.

No, no. Purple.

Half a pound? A pound?

Oh, use your initiative!

You're the fast-track graduate.

'Early on the morning of June 22, 1859,

a woman's body was found in Prince's Cut,

a basin on the Coventry to Oxford canal.'

'As the boatman Philip Tomes would say in evidence later,

he had moored his narrow boat up canal from Oxford

when he noticed something in the water.'

'A woman's blue gown.'

Hey, mister! Look down here!

Right, Mr Morse.

Down you get.

Now, sir. You're an intelligent man.

I'm sure you can assist me.

See this long tube? I need you to swallow it.

Why? So I can look in your stomach.

If you co-operate I won't need to sedate you.

And if I can't? You'll miss the fun and remember nothing.

How long is this going to last?

Fifteen minutes.

Fifteen minutes?!

I think we'll sedate him, Nurse.

Her drawers are all torn, Doctor. This weren't an accident.

And severe discoloration to the face.

Did you men see what happened?

She was floating in the water.

She came out with her face black? Yes, sir.

And none of you knows her? No, sir.

Did you see anyone there? Pickford fly boat. The Barbara Bray.

A big gentleman was on the bank.

Constable, you should telegraph the police to detain that boat.

Moor up, lad! Moor up!

What's this, fellas?

Who's captain here?