Savage Sam

SAM, YOU THIEVIN' RASCAL,

YOU BETTER LET ME HAVE THAT.

A LITTLE SAVAGE, AIN'T YA?

OLD SAVAGE SAM.

ALL RIGHT, KEEP IT.

BUT I TELL YOU, IF TRAVIS CATCHES YOU WITH THAT SIDE OF MEAT,

HE'S JUST LIABLE TO KNOCK YOU SKY WEST AND CROOKED.

DANG YOUR HIDE, JUMPER! GET OUT OF THERE!

HOW MANY TIMES DO I GOTTA TELL YOU TO QUIT EATIN' THE SWEET CORN?

NOW GIT!

BIT OFF MORE THAN YOU COULD CHEW, HUH?

WHAT'S FOR BREAKFAST?

BACON AND MUSH. AND MILK, AFTER YOU FINISH THE MILKIN'.

BACON AND MUSH. BACON AND MUSH.

EVERY MORNIN' IN THE WORLD IT'S BACON AND MUSH.

WHY DON'T YOU COOK SOMETHING DIFFERENT ONCE IN A WHILE...

THAN BACON AND MUSH LIKE MAMA DOES?

'CAUSE I'M NOT MAMA, THAT'S WHY.

NOW YOU BETTER GO MILK THAT COW.

MILK THE DANG COW. IF YOU GET AN EARLY START,

MAYBE WE CAN FINISH SCRUBBING THAT NEW PATCH OF GROUND BY NIGHT.

HOW MUCH LONGER WILL MAMA AND PAPA BE IN SAN ANTONE?

OH, COULD BE A COUPLE OF WEEKS YET.

TILL GRANDMA DIES?

NOW WHO SAID SHE'S GONNA DIE?

YOU KNOW, GRANDMA WON'T LIKE IT UP THERE IN HEAVEN.

THERE'S NOTHING TO DO ALL DAY BUT SQUAT AROUND ON A CLOUD,

TRYING TO PICK ONE OF THEM OLD GUITARS.

HARPS, NOT GUITARS.

HARPS, GUITARS... IT'S ALL THE SAME DIFFERENCE.

GRANDMA DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY NEITHER ONE.

GRANDMA'S BEEN SICK BEFORE, AND SHE'S GOT WELL.

OF COURSE, MAYBE THEY'LL TEACH HER HOW TO PLAY.

I DON'T SUPPOSE THEM ANGELS HAS GOT MUCH ELSE TO DO.

WHAT'S ALL THIS TALK ABOUT DYING?

I WAS JUST THINKING, IF GRANDMA DIES,

MAMA'S GONNA BE MIGHTY SAD.

IT'LL MEAN SHE'LL HAVE TO WAIT AROUND UNTIL SHE DIES...

BEFORE SHE GETS TO SEE GRANDMA AGAIN.

THEN WE'LL ALL BE TORE UP 'CAUSE WE WON'T GET TO SEE MAMA AGAIN TILL WE DIE.

I DON'T LIKE IT.

WELL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT AND MAYBE YOU'LL LIVE LONGER.

ME, I AIN'T NEVER GONNA DIE. I'M GONNA LIVE FOREVER.

WHY DON'T YOU MILK THAT COW SO YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO LIVE ON? NOW GIT.

MILK THE COW. GRUB THE BRUSH.

BACON AND MUSH.

ARLISS. WHAT?

YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST THINKIN' WE COULD USE SOME FRESH MEAT.

AND IF WE GET THROUGH WITH THE WORK IN TIME, WE MIGHT GO HUNTIN'.

HUNTIN'? YOU MEAN IT?

THAT'S IF WE GET THROUGH WITH THE WORK,

WHICH WON'T BE LIKELY IF YOU DON'T GET TO THE MILKIN'.

I'LL HAVE THAT OLD COW DRY AS A SUNFLOWER POD AFORE THE BACON'S HALF FRIED.

GET HIM, SAM!

FIRE RIGHT BACK, SAM! FIRE RIGHT BACK, BOY!

OUT FANCY HER, BOY!

GO ON, IN AND OUT. SHE'LL NEVER LAY A HORN TO YA!

WHAT ON EARTH?

YEE-HAW!

ARLISS, GET THAT DOG OUTTA HERE!

DANG YOU, SAM. NOW GIT!

TRAVIS, YOU QUIT TAKING SIDES!

- GO ON! - GET OUTTA HERE!

IT'S ALL RIGHT, SAM. YOU HAD HER BEAT. GET OUTTA HERE!

I SENT YOU OUT HERE TO MILK, NOT START A STAMPEDE. I WAS MILKIN'.

EASY, GIRL, EASY. EASY, GIRL. EASY, GIRL.

ACTIN' LIKE A SIX YEAR OLD. I OUGHTA CUT ME A SPROUT AND THRASH YOUR BRITCHES.

GUESS YOU THINK YOU'RE THE BOSS, BIG AS PAPA, HUH?

WELL, PAPA LEFT ME IN CHARGE AND SAID FOR YOU TO DO WHAT I SAID!

NOW GO CALM THAT COW DOWN AND FINISH MILKIN'!

ALL RIGHT.

MAKE ME!

I'LL BASH YOU WITH THIS BUCKET!

WAIT TILL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU.

ARLISS!

OW! ARLISS!

OW! YOU QUIT CHUCKIN' ME, YOU HEAR?

I HEAR!

ARLISS, YOU QUIT THAT, OR THESE CHICKENS WON'T LAY FOR A MONTH.

- SIC HIM, SAM. GRAB HIM! - ARLISS!

I'LL LEARN YOU TO BOSS ME AROUND.

STAY WITH HIM, SAM! ARLISS! SAM, QUIT THAT.

YOU QUIT HITTIN' MY DOG!

WHEN I GET OUTTA HERE, I'LL WEAR YOUR TAIL END TO A FRAZZLE.

ARLISS! UNCLE BECK!

SAY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

I COULD HEAR YOU HOLLERING ON THE NEXT RIDGE.

OH, WHAT'D YOU GOT TREED THERE, A PANTHER?

NO, SIR. JUST TRAVIS.

TRAVIS? YOU MEAN YOUR BROTHER TRAVIS? YES, SIR.

WELL, I'LL BE DOGGONED. WHAT YOU ROCKIN' HIM FOR?

WELL, DANG IT, HE'S GETTING TOO BIG FOR HIS BRITCHES!

HE'S ALWAYS BOSSING ME AROUND.

OH. TELLIN' YOU WHAT YOU CAN DO AND WHAT YOU CAN'T, HUH?

YES, SIR. HE NEVER LETS ME HAVE A SAY ABOUT NOTHIN'.

AND HE WORKS ME LIKE A SLAVE.

TSK, TSK, TSK. WELL, I DON'T BLAME YOU FOR ROCKIN' HIM THEN.

YOU DON'T? NO, SIR.

IF IT WAS ME, I WOULDN'T STAND FOR IT ONE MINUTE.

'CAUSE I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH, ARLISS, 'CAUSE YOUR PAPA...

USED TO TREAT ME EXACTLY THE SAME WAY WHEN I WAS LITTLE.

EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY, SOMETHING LIKE THIS,

"BECK, YOU GO CHOP THE WOOD.

"BECK, GO FETCH THE HORSES. BECK, GO SLOP THE HOGS.

BECK, GO MILK THE COW."

THAT'S WHY I WANTED TO KILL HIM A THOUSAND TIMES. WHO, PAPA?

YOU BETCHA. ANYTHING MAKES ME KILLIN' MAD...

IS SOME GREAT BIG, LAZY, OVERGROWN BOY...

WORKIN' HIS POOR LITTLE BROTHER HALF TO DEATH.

LET'S GET SOME BRUSH. WE'LL SET FIRE TO IT AND BURN HIM OUT OF THERE.

BURN HIM OUT? SURE.

LIKE SMOKIN' A POSSUM OUT OF A HOLLOW LOG.

YOU MEAN, DO THAT TO TRAVIS?

WELL, NO, THAT WOULDN'T DO NEITHER, NO.

DANG FIRE'S LIABLE TO SPREAD AND BURN THE WHOLE PLACE DOWN.

WELL, HERE YOU GO. USE THIS.

BLAST HIM OUTTA THERE WITH THAT.

NOW, IT'LL MAKE SOME HOLES IN THAT DOOR YOU COULD PITCH A DOG THROUGH.

BUT THAT'S TRAVIS IN THERE.

I KNOW THAT, ARLISS. THAT'S WHAT YOU BEEN TELLING ME.

NOW KEEP THAT ARM STEADY, BOY. STEADY.

SEE, NOW GET THAT FRONT SIDE DOWN.

MAKE HER SET RIGHT THERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT GROOVE.

REMEMBER, YOU GOTTA SQUEEZE THAT TRIGGER.

AIM A FOOT BELOW THE TOP OF THAT DOOR, AND YOU'RE GONNA CATCH HIM...

RIGHT SMACK BETWEEN THE EYES ON THE FIRST SHOT.

YOU CRAZY OR SOMETHING? YOU THINK I WANNA KILL MY OWN BROTHER?

WELL, ARLISS, THAT'S THE GENERAL IDEA I GOT FROM THE WAY YOU WAS WHAMMIN' THEM ROCKS IN THERE.

WELL, I DIDN'T AIM TO KILL HIM.

OH. BUT YOU KILL SQUIRRELS WITH ROCKS, DON'T YOU?

AND YOU KILLED THAT BIG TURKEY GOBBLER WITH A ROCK.

DIDN'T YOU?

NOW, I BELIEVE IF IT WAS ME, I'D JUST GO WASH THE DIRT OUT OF THAT BUCKET...

AND FINISH MILKIN' UP THE COW.

YES, SIR.

AH, AHEM.

I RECKON SHE'LL GIVE YOU THE MILK WITHOUT YOU HOLDIN' MY GUN ON HER.

HUH?

OH.

I RECKON SHE WILL.

I DON'T SEE HOW YOU DO IT, UNCLE BECK.

NOW, ANY WAY I TRY TO MANAGE HIM, IT'S LIKE POKIN' A STICK IN A HORNET'S NEST.

WELL, THAT'S GENERALLY THE CASE WITH BEING THE OLDER BROTHER, TRAVIS.

MAYBE WHAT YOU GOTTA DO IS LEARN TO OUT FIGURE HIM.

HEY, SMELLS LIKE SOMETHING'S AFIRE.

IT'S THE BACON!

DANG THAT ARLISS!

CAN'T EVEN MILK A COW.

HEY, I PICKED... WHEE... I PICKED THIS UP IN TOWN FOR YOU.

A LETTER. YEP, SAN ANTONE IT SAYS.

IT MUST BE FROM YOUR MAMA AND PAPA.

MAMA SAYS THE DOCTOR HAD GRANDMA FIGURED FOR A GONER,

BUT SHE FOOLED THEM.

THAT DON'T SURPRISE ME NONE.

CROWD YOU TO KILL THAT LITTLE OL' LADY WITH A CHOPPIN' AXE.

THAT'S ABOUT THE WAY MAMA PUTS IT.

SHE SAYS, "IT WILL BE A WHILE BEFORE GRANDMA IS BACK ON HER FEET.

BUT SHE'S JUST DOING FINE."

WELL, I BET ON IT TOO.

I NEVER WILL FORGET THAT LITTLE OLD LADY BACK IN SEDALIA.

WHEN ME AND YOUR PAPA WAS NOTHIN' BUT TOW-SHIRTED KIDS,

WE COULDN'T SWIPE A PEACH, TURPENTINE A CAT,

RIDE THE OLD MILK CALF, NOTHIN',

WITHOUT GRANDMA BAILEY SWARMIN' ALL OVER US, THREE TIMES A DAY.

BURNT THE BREAKFAST, DIDN'T YOU?

I GOT ANOTHER BATCH STARTED.

MAMA NEVER LET THE BREAKFAST GET BURNT.

ALWAYS HAD IT READY FOR ME TO EAT,

THE MINUTE I FINISHED MILKIN'.

NOW, MAYBE YOUR MAMA DIDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME DUCKIN' ROCKS NEITHER.

I BEST BE MOVIN' ON. OH, YOU DON'T AIM TO EAT WITH US?

NO THANKS.

I DON'T BLAME YOU... BACON AND MUSH.