God Friended Me

Previously, on "God Friended Me"...

I've decided this is how I'm going to face my cancer.

Life's too short not to be honest

with the people you love.

I'm about to talk to Cara and tell her how I feel.

I have given up everything for the God Account.

If I had known this wasn't gonna help Ali,

then I wouldn't have given up Cara,

and we would still be together.

Are you sure you're up for this?

I can't believe I'm gonna date somebody

who likes Red Vines.

I'm Corey Smith.

I run R&D for DARPA.

Seven years ago, I created an algorithm,

but it was stolen.

So you think whoever stole your code

used it to create the God Account?

Yes, but first I need to confirm it. I need to see the code.

We're all set. I installed the Raspberry Pi.

Now remember, we only have one shot to pull this off.

But if everything goes according to plan,

tomorrow we head to DARPA and get the answers

we're looking for.

I can't believe we're gonna highjack DARPA's super computer

from the inside of a food truck.

Well, we needed to be in the Wi-Fi range

of the building when Corey launches your program.

Plus, it gave us cover.

And also, we are not hijacking anything.

You're running diagnostics. You're, like, copilot at best.

Okay, whatever. All right.

Well, where'd you get this truck anyway, man?

Cara called in a favor with her food editor, Parker.

Listen, Zach, I need you to focus, okay?

This is the best shot we've ever had

of hacking into the God Account's firewall

and figuring out whose behind this.

This is important.

Okay, then why isn't Miles here?

'Cause Miles is dealing with a lot.

All right? That's why he has me.

Okay, Corey launched it. We're in.

Rakesh, you copy?

We have 60 seconds to breach the firewall

before the security system flags us.

Yeah, my decryption program

is already uploaded and running.

And trust me, 60 seconds is all I need.

Okay.

Firewall integrity's dropping.

75%, 65%.

I can see it.

It's my code.

Okay, I know I'm just a copilot, but we have a problem.

- Yeah. - Rakesh, you seeing this?

Yeah, yeah. I think the God Account's defending itself.

This isn't good. We're running out of time.

Firewall integrity's increasing 45... 65%?

_

We're gonna be detected.

Oh, no. This can't be happening!

I have to log you out. I'm sorry, Rakesh.

- Corey. Corey, wait... don't! - We failed.

Damn it.

Didn't work.

I'm sorry, Miles. I-I really thought it would.

You know what? Don't worry about it.

I mean, I told you this was probably the outcome.

I mean, it is the God Account.

It is what it is.

What's with all this?

I have to be at Honeysuckle in an hour for my live podcast.

Rakesh, I told you about this.

My interview with Daryl basically doubled my listeners.

FreeVerse thinks this is a great way

for me to meet my fans.

Yeah, right. Sorry, dude.

So wait... you really don't wanna know

who's behind the God Account?

No.

That question has brought me nothing but problems.

Look, I love helping Friend Suggestions,

but beyond that, I think it's time

to start accepting things for the way they are.

That include Cara?

Yeah.

I mean, she's happy with Adam.

And she's one of my best friends, Rakesh.

I should be happy for her, too,

which is why I invited both of them to my podcast today.

That's big of you, man.

Plus it's a great idea.

I mean, you pack the house with as many

friendly faces as you can, right?

Exactly, and from the responses online,

people seem pretty excited.

Come here. Check it out.

"Favorite podcast. So pumped."

"A dream come true"?

Except, wait...

"Does this really pass for entertainment?"

Who's Trevor091?

Yeah, he's just some troll

that's been attacking me in the comments section.

Dude, trolls are, like, the first sign of success.

So congratulations. You made it.

Trust me, you don't need religion

to feel the call to help others.

We just need to have to be there for one another.

All right, wanna thank you guys for coming down

and being a part of this.

You know, I never really have a chance

to do this at home, so I thought it would be nice

to open it up for questions from you all about anything.

- I have a question. - Yes.

Were you nervous the first time you had to tell someone

that they were your Friend Suggestion?

I was terrified that they would think I was crazy.

As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure Cara did,

and she's right here. We can ask her ourselves.

Yeah, definitely crazy.

- Great. Next question. - I have a question.

So you guys broke up because of the God Account.

Um, that is not really a question.

Okay.

Any chance you guys might get back together?

Um...

We are together.

As friends.

That's how we started and where we will always be.

And that's thanks to the God Account as well.

Oh, please.

You can't be serious.

- Excuse me? - All right.

Here's a question.

Have you ever stopped to consider the damage

you might be causing as you run around helping people?

Or are you too busy congratulating yourself

on your little podcast?

As far as I know, I've never met anyone

who's been hurt by what I'm doing.

Well, guess what. Now you have.

I... was in love with a woman

who I knew I was destined to be with,

and then you came along and took her away from me.

You ruined my life.

But hey, makes for a great podcast, right?

_

Okay, and this is the last question,

so I need you to take it seriously.

Yeah, there's really no chance of that happening.

I'm just saying.

Okay, for your information,

this online relationship test

is grounded in science.

And I need to know if we have a future.

So are you a slow flame or a raging fire?

You said this was grounded in science.

Okay, fine.

Fine.

Can't blame a girl for trying to find out where she stands.

And don't worry,

I'm not trying to label anything.

- I'm just... - What?

I'm happy.

That's all. I'm just...

I'm happy with us.

I am too.

And that's pretty amazing

considering where I'm sitting right now.

Speaking of which, I'm going to get you a warming blanket.

Now, that sounds like some science I can get behind.

_

So you've never heard of Trevor Scott?

No. Not until today.

Okay, well, you need to figure out what happened

so you can fix this.

Wait, fix what? I didn't ruin his life.

And I certainly didn't take away the woman he loves from him.

Okay. All right, okay.

Tell me, when did he start trolling you?

Uh, about six months ago.

Okay, so it would make sense that whatever he blames you for

happened around that time, right?

Wait, wait, wait. Those photos.

That's Rose.

Rose?

You mean like Rose and Lieutenant Freemont?

Yeah.

_

That must be the woman Trevor was talking about.

Rose was the love of his life.

Until about six months ago

when you reunited her with Freemont.

Looks like he does have a reason to hate you.

All right, well, what do you think

the God Account wants us to do?

Like, get Trevor back together with Rose?

No way.